Long term depressive. Have no motivation for anything despite meds.

[Amphisbaena]

I have suffered on and off with depression for many years, and now stay on ADs permanently, having accepted that I am just way steadier if I do. I am on 30mg of citalopram. However I still suffer bad pre-menstrual mood swings when I tend to feel pretty low. I also just don't have any motivation. I just can't be bothered to do stuff, even stuff that in theory I enjoy. I am a SAHM too so its very easy to hide and do naff all. I get frustrated at myself for my inactivity/lack of engagement yet my enthusiasm for stuff just isn't there any more. I desperately want to regain some joie de vivre but dont know how to. Anyone able to relate or advise? TIA.

[silvermirror]

I totally get what your experiencing and iv suffered severley for over a year with motivation issues but whati realised was that the less i did the worse the motivation got and so eventually i had to set up small bitesize goals to do in the day. Iv changed my ADs to mirtazapine and it helps greatly with night and day routines. I walk frequently throughout the day getting vital vitamin D and the exercise really lifts my moods.
Look at treatment spersific to pmt too.
Primose oil is suppose to help or maybe look at some hormone replacement therapy
Otherwise it would be mood stableizers.
Do you use any services for your children like childrens centres. Theres homestart there a service for families for children under four.
Could you get a referral for a community mental health unit and be offered a coordinator and psychiatrist who could assess your medication needs.
It sounds like you need some practical help to get you going again.
Staying in doing nothing will just add to your depression
Its a vicious circle.

[Bluestocking]

Poor you. Have you seen a psychiatrist, or are you just relying on your GP?

[bishbashboosh]

Hi, I go through similar cycles, I genuinely find magnesium and b6 supplements help me

Aldo write a list in a morning of things you want to achieve that day, one biggish thing like clean the windows or sort a drawer, and the small stuff like wash up, prepare tea etc.

Realising how much you actually do will help

Be kind to yourself x

[Amphisbaena]

Thanks for the replies. I don't have a mental health team or anything like that, just the GP. I'm just not ill enough for that really, even at my worst I still just about hold my life together. Its the smaller stuff I seem to struggle with. I dread going to the shops. Or an evening out with post natal mums. Or I just feel over whelmed by silly things eg I love my garden but often I just feel too anxious to get out there. Mind you its hardly inspiring lately, what with the rain!

Its strangely comforting to know others have experienced similar. I do take supplements, evening primrose, vit d, iron, I rattle tbh! But always interested to hear what others find useful Thanks.

[Bluestocking]

You don't have to live your life like this. You may not feel you are "bad enough" to need a psychiatrist, but your GP only has the most basic knowledge about depression. Please request a referral to a psychiatrist; there is so much that can be done with different drugs, and it's quite possible that all you need is a simple change of AD or dosage, or a short course of a mood stabiliser, to improve your health. Wouldn't you like to have your life back?

[Amphisbaena]

Yes I would Bluestocking. I guess at some level I worry that perhaps its just the way I am though, maybe I am just an unmotivated lump! TBH Im also scared at the thought of changing meds - have had all manner of unpleasant side effects before I found citalopram. But then I am expert at finding excuses not to act.

But clearly something is not right, so yes, something needs to be done. I am very fed up with being fed up.

[Bluestocking]

You're not an unmotivated lump! Think of all the things you do.
Re changing meds, this is a lot less scary with a psych in charge - I had to switch from one AD to another, which can be hideous, but my psych cross-titrated them and I didn't feel a thing. I probably sound like a nutty cheerleader for psychiatry but it seems such a shame not to seek specialist help and support for something as important as your mental wellbeing. After all, if you had a mysterious lump (that word again!) that your GP couldn't diagnose, you would expect to be referred to a specialist, wouldn't you?

[Amphisbaena]

True. I do do plenty, DCs are pretty demanding tbh. Thanks Blue, will investigate.

[Bluestocking]

Sending positive thoughts and your way. Keep us posted.

[sisterofmercy]

If you have been suffering from depression for yearsand the drugs have only managed to stabilise you but not make you feel much better then you do need more than just a GP to help you. It's very hard work because you probably don't feel you have the energy to fight the system and get onto whatever waiting lists you can get on but if you just take it one step at a time and just be obstinate, you will eventually get through this and also feel more confident about your ability to handle this if it comes back. I find that each time it gets easier.

[Bluestocking]

Sisterofmercy, I didn't have to fight with anyone to get a referral to a psychiatrist, and I didn't have to wait long either. I'm sorry if you had a bad time, but I don't think it necessarily has to be a battle.

[SilverStars]

Have you found it harder since becoming a SAHM? For me the loss of a set routine was really hard when I was not working. And being able to do less I found I did less. Just wondered if you thought about part-time work or doing some volunteering, such as at a baby and toddler group etc, would give you more structure and help you? As much as I love my dc I found I needed something that was for me.