DS is in his first serious relationship. They're both 19 and at Uni together. He's asked for my advice on a problem he's having with her.
The GF keeps getting stressed about him going off with someone else, and generally about him being "too good" for her and him dumping her.
The context is that she has had 3 relationships before DS and every one of the lads has gone off with another girl. She is v pretty and bright, comes from a good stable home, from what I can gather (I've never met her).
Last week he phoned me as she had got upset because when she went to the loo in a club and four girls from his course came and started chatting to him it made her feel v v insecure.
Today he's phoned up again as she had him up talking till 4am saying that she thinks he's going to dump her as he's the perfect boyfriend and she's not good enough - can't say I've noticed his perfection myself!
He told her repeatedly in this 4 hour conversation that he really likes her, is happy with her, will not dump her for some other girl, etc etc etc but she just doesn't listen. sounds like she has some anxiety/self esteeem issues and he's finding it really exhausting to keep reassuring her.
I didn't really know what to say, the broken record technique isn't working, asking her what she needs him to say or do isn't working, she is getting more anxious that she'll annoy him to the point that she'll dump him because she's so needy (her word, not his). When other girls are around, he makes a point of holding her hand/putting his arm round her to make her feel secure.
Any ideas from anyone who has successfully handled something similar?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
DS's relationship problems
6 replies
knackeredknees · 20/02/2014 16:30
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.