No one needs me and because of my behaviour over the last few months (all night parties sleeping around going out till 4am every morning while manic then self harming suicide attempts and drug use when depressed) no one loves me anymore. All I am is a drain to my family they are struggling to look after me. These are reasons why I should end my life tomorrow when my mum comes to take the kids from dh as I am no longer capable of looking after my own children.
Sorry i couldn't answer earlier, had some dramas here to deal with - Im glad you are seeing your psychiatrist tomorrow. You are acting to keep yourself safe, i know how difficult that is - I hope that you get onto an even keel soon xx
Back in October my sister felt just like you OP. She killed herself. We are the family she thought wouldn't care and our lives are ruined and will forever be. Luckily she had no children. Please, please don't do this.
I hope your psychiatrist appointment really helps x
well at least you can pin-point where the problem is, which is good - hopefully they will be able to find a more suitable med for you. I think it is quite common with any illness to need meds to be tweaked from time to time, so a drug will work well for a while and then the dosage may need to change or the actual drug be changed - you are perfectly within your rights to ask for them to be changed. You sound pretty articulate and intelligent so you just need to be clear to your psych that you have felt worse since starting that particular med. Maybe write it down as if your are anything like me, i change from pretty articulate and wordy to mouselike and muttery whenever i see my counsellor, - then think of all the things i wanted to ask when i've left