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I don't know what to do

(19 Posts)
Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 10:02:46

Changed from Citalopram to Seroxat 20mg 10 days ago. Literally been crying for a whole week and not sure if its the tablets or not.

Marriage broke down last year and I've been trying to stay strong for teenage DS's.

Right now I feel like my life is over, I want xh back (he is in new relationship) and my life back to normal.

My heart literally feels torn and I can't stop crying.

I'm currently working, though phoned in sick this morning and don't think I can face anyone or anything at the moment.

If I go back to the doctors I'm going to cry my heart out and feel stupid for telling them how I feel. That's assuming I can get an appointment so do I just wait it out and hope for the best?

Juneywoony Mon 10-Feb-14 10:11:37

10 days isn't that long in terms of an antidepressant working, some can take weeks, however as you have stopped one and started on another your bound to be suffering from withdrawal effects from that and side effects from the new one.

You have had a lot of trauma in your life too, so with all that combined it is no wonder that you feel the way you do.

Please go to your doctor and don't feel embarrassed or stupid about crying, they see it all the time, they know you are ill and will try to help you.

Sorry you are going through such a tough time and I really hope things start to improve for you soon.

Juney, xx

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 10-Feb-14 10:13:01

Hello Loz
You certainly sound as if you have a lot on your plate. Perhaps you could start a thread in relationships about your heartache; it sounds very fresh at the moment.
20mg is a very low dose; did you mean 200?
I don't have advice and I am not a regular on MH but what are your plans for your day off? What is the weather like? Have you had breakfast?

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 10:18:49

@Chipping - just 20mg, I think the maximum dose is 60mg.

I just feel like such a bloody failure right now and so woe is me. I know I need a kick up the backside and keep telling myself to get a grip but its not working!

I am picking up my son from college at lunchtime as he needs some stuff from town.

Dog will need walking later so that will get me out as well.

Just don't want to feel sad any more

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 10:19:19

@Juney, thanks xx

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 10-Feb-14 10:43:18

Loz it is early days on the seroxat, give it time. Your main task atm is to just get through a couple more weeks, you don't need a grip yet.

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 11:00:54

Thanks temperamental.

No doctors appointments but a doctor will call me at some point today.

I really hope they agree to sign me off for a few days so I can get my head together.

Feel bad for my boys to see me like this.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 10-Feb-14 11:05:40

Ignore me! I was confusing it with quetiapine.

You are bound to feel sad and you are entitled to feel sad after what you have experienced.

Are you eating properly and looking after yourself?

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 11:58:53

Past couple of days I haven't really felt like eating but before that I've been eating like a horse!

My eldest is going to have a movie night with me tonight which will be nice.

I do worry though that he sees himself as my carer. It's difficult when you don't have a support network though (apart from MN that is!).

antimatter Mon 10-Feb-14 12:04:34

How long have you been on Citalopram before this change?
I know how hard it it not to have RL support and I understand where you are coming from.
I took Citalopram for 2 months and went for private counseling whilst taking it. I was also trying to sort out my head after split with my ex.

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 12:11:55

I think 5 years on Citalopram. Did 4 years on 20mg and then upped to 30mg last year but made no difference and my panic attacks were getting worse.

Also been on a plethora of others previously and GP said it was either Seroxat or Sertraline and he felt Seroxat would be better.

Weird thing is I don't know if its the tablets that are making me feel shit or I've just tried to be strong for my boys since the breakup and its now caught up with me.

I hate feeling sorry for myself as well.

Breaking up sucks!!!

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 10-Feb-14 13:31:08

Focus on tonight. Have a bath, brush your hair, get the food in.
What are you eating? Get their favourite food in and enjoy it. What are you watching?

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 10-Feb-14 13:52:42

It's quite likely it's all caught up with you. Perfectly normal, and part of the process - it can be hard to sort out what's going on if you have a mh issue going on at the same time.

(Having said that, my own mh issues were completely resolved by divorcing my Ex, although it took time to heal from the damage of my marriage)

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 14:35:41

@Chipping - no idea what we are watching yep - definitely not a romance or weepy film though!

Just made myself go to Tesco to get popcorn and coke!

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 14:37:34

@Temp - that's exactly the thing. I had PND after my youngest was born and had issues since then - self esteem, body image etc. and I thats all rearing its head again too.

It's so hard trying to fathom out whether this is all underlying from years back or more recently.

I feel so sad

Chocolateneeded Mon 10-Feb-14 16:13:34

You may be suffering from a 'come down' from stopping the citalopram quickly (even if it wasnt working brilliantly for you) and the seroxat hasnt had a chance to kick in yet. It can be rocky swapping over ad's and it can take a few weeks for everything to settle back down again. Be really kind to yourself in the meantime.

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 17:43:29

I just want XH right now to hold me and tell me everything will be ok hmm

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 10-Feb-14 18:50:33

[hug] brew I imagine you are grieving for what might have been. I don't know why your marriage ended, but regardless of why, this is common in that situation, even for those women who wanted it to end.

Just get through tonight, have you decided which film and what food? It's OK, btw, to show your feelings in front of DS, up to a point. You are only human...

Lozislovely Mon 10-Feb-14 19:55:03

Monsters university and copious amounts of popcorn!

Me and XH were at a point where we stopped communicating and when we did manage to speak it was fraught. We're both stubborn and know which buttons to push. We've hurt each other (not physically) and pushed the blame onto each other for the reasons.

We've had good times and bad times but deep down I always loved him (even when it felt like I hated him).

I feel now that (and I think he does too) that if we'd actually behaved like adults we might have been able to sort things out.

It's a shame that it took living in silence under the same roof waiting for our home to sell, then going our separate ways, believing life would be great, for me to realise that we should have and could have made things better. He's my soulmate.

Likely too late and that's something I going to have to try and get to grips with.

Easy to hurt the one you love though isn't it?!

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