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I want to go to the GP but I am scared - help

(5 Posts)
muminboots Wed 05-Feb-14 14:07:50

My depression is back, and I cannot cope. I really hate myself when I'm like this, negative, angry, snappy, screaming at my poor children, isolating etc etc.

I know what I should do, but I am feeling so scared to go to my doctor. I feel so ashamed. I was seeing a psychiatrist (as is the norm in the country I live in) and found he made me feel worse and worse as he didn't get me and told me i wasn't talking about the right things but didn't give me any guidance AT ALL about what I "should" be talking about and as I find it very difficult to talk in general, I just glossed over everything and wasted my sessions. I don't blame him for being frustrated with me but he didn't help or suggest anything better. So i don't want to see him again but she won't give me ADs without a psychiatrist.

I don't want to talk about my past anymore. I need help on how to live NOW, because I feel as if I was born wrong, somehow I just don't function in this world. I have a perfectly normal job but it makes me so stressed out that my chest hurts, I can hardly breathe and each new email causes panic. I literally screamed at my son last night, screamed in his face poor little mite. He's only 3. He deserves a better mother. So does my daughter.

I feel so alone and desperate for support. My DH cares for me but seems to think I can just pull myself together. I've been here so many times, i just want to find a way to live in this world without these terrible feelings.

I am rambling I know, i can't even get my thoughts together enough to write this. i think i want someone to tell me to go to my doctor, but what do I say when i get there?

Honeysweet Wed 05-Feb-14 15:06:22

I think you know deep down, that you should go to the GP.

You could tell him some of your post?
It does actually read coherently, and probably accurately describes how you feel right now.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 05-Feb-14 15:14:09

I found writing a list of my symptoms and giving them to the GP helped - can you do this?

LastingLight Wed 05-Feb-14 17:25:35

I've also written down how I feel and given it to the gp and psychologist, that's the way to go. You are ill, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Get the gp to refer you to a different psychiatrist, it sounds as if the one you saw was using old fashioned therapy methods that takes forever and often doesn't help. See if you can go to someone who does CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which is short term and focuses on the here and now.

Sillylass79 Wed 05-Feb-14 17:32:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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