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(39 Posts)
Messupmum Fri 10-Jan-14 11:23:28

This is my fifth ad I'm trying. Just wondering if anyone has experience of this, I've not really heard of it before. Been referred to crisis team and maybe day hospital but I'm unsure, I've felt like this before, it's embarrassing being back in this place.

fluffydressinggown Fri 10-Jan-14 14:25:25

I hope this one works for you smile

Do you want crisis team involved?

Messupmum Fri 10-Jan-14 15:24:43

I don't know, I suppose I have plans in my head, and urges that sometimes get out of control, so that's not good. But I don't particularly want the crisis team involved, but this time I haven't been given much choice.

I've been referred a few times, but it doesn't make it any less scary. I just feel more ashamed.

SilverStars Fri 10-Jan-14 16:42:24

Hi - hope the new medication works. I have heard good things of it and I was going to have it if the venlaflaxine had not worked. Hope it helps.

Remember the crisis team is just that - a bit of extra support when you are in crisis. They only work short term with you, at times when you need extra contact - so it is a positive thing, not a negative. And when you are able to say you feel safer and the plans are not there they can discharge you back to your usual mental health services, who can offer a stepped down care until you can go back to your usual appointments. It has been holiday time and it is common to struggle if normal appointments have happened, so no need to be ashamed at all.

The crisis team often refer people for a short term placement at a day hospital if they think someone needs more support than one phonecall and visit a day. They do craft sessions, sometimes relaxation classes, a meal usually is provided, quiz sessions, chance to do some art or walking to a coffee shop etc at my local one. They have sessions to give people life skills they may lack confidence in sometimes as well.

Have the crisis team seen you, hope they can offer support through the weekend.

IsobelEliza Fri 10-Jan-14 18:29:48

OP you definitely shouldn't be talking about being ashamed in my opinion. It sounds to me like you've been climbing mountains every day just to get through. It takes huge determination to cope when everything feels awful. I do hope you're not feeling too bad this evening and things get easier soon.

Messupmum Fri 10-Jan-14 19:01:05

What I don't understand is, I know what I'm doing and thinking isn't right, I don't always want to be doing it, but I can't stop myself. And it feels right even though it's wrong?! sound so messed up I'm more anxious than before now

SilverStars Fri 10-Jan-14 19:05:57

Just continue being honest with the professionals, as they can best guide you. I guess handing over anything dangerous could be helpful too?

It is good that you are aware that it is not right or helpful. And you are stopping yourself in that you have told them what is going on and you have asked for help and have been given that help, which is daily contact available 24/7 - to me that is stopping yourself. People who do not stop themselves do not seek help and hide it.

fluffydressinggown Fri 10-Jan-14 20:33:52

That makes sense Messup it is hard when your thoughts are so muddley.

Has anyone suggested using a low dose of anti-psychotics to help you make sense of your feelings? I think one of the biggest differences in me has been going on an anti-psychotic, it doesn't just stop me being psychotic, it helps for my thoughts to be a bit clearer. I was on a really low dose of quetiapine for a while I had no side effects on it and it made a huge difference.

I am not one to normally advocate medication but I wonder if it would help you?

How are you getting on with your CPN these days?

HellsGranny Fri 10-Jan-14 21:27:10

I'm on this. It worked really well before I had the children but had to go on Prozac when TTC as it wasn't really tested in pregnancy. My dose is currently 120mg per day. No real dreadful side effects. Feeling a lot better than I was when I went back on it. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions.

SilverStars Fri 10-Jan-14 22:46:08

Hi oh yes great idea above, a low dose antipsychotic on top of an antidepressant. My psychiatrist raved about the combination of sertraline and low dose quetiapiane, but old psych favoured venlaflaxine and risperidone - both AD's with a low dose antipsychotic - not because of psychosis but because it can really help those thoughts

Messupmum Fri 10-Jan-14 23:53:46

Ok I'm going to be honest sorry I've googled it, and seen it's not good to od on. I can't help it, but that's in my mind. Psych mentioned another drug she had in mind if this didn't work so maybe she was thinking of an antipsychotic? She said it'd mean liver/blood tests?

fluffy my cpn is leaving, my fourth in a year. She mentioned I might be discharged, then said I was on the list for a new cpn. I've lost faith tbh, I don't want to trust anyone anymore. Feel a bit alone tonight

Messupmum Sat 11-Jan-14 00:56:56

I'm starting to panic, I'm scared of my thoughts, I'm so rubbish and selfish. But surely I can't live like this? People would understand that,

Messupmum Sat 11-Jan-14 01:21:45

I am at breaking point, I phoned crisis, told them all the details, I can't wait until tomorrow. I'm going to do something sorry and she said there's nothing she can do over the phone?! What's the point of crisis team?

HellsGranny Sat 11-Jan-14 10:33:05

Please come back OP.

Messupmum Sat 11-Jan-14 10:36:04

Sorry, I had to get up and go straight to day hospital. I feel so ill and tired. My mouth is so dry.

Messupmum Sat 11-Jan-14 10:41:42

God sorry reading back what I posted, it sounded so bad. It came across wrong, I meant I was going to do something but it was fighting it, just upset they couldn't do anything, even stay on the phone for 5 mins.

My heads all jumbled up so maybe I should stop posting for a bit until I can make more sense.

HellsGranny Sat 11-Jan-14 10:54:11

It's fine Messed, I just wanted to know you were still hanging in there. smile

It's up to you what you post honestly.

SilverStars Sat 11-Jan-14 18:10:16

Hope being at day hospital helped. Can you find out when can review your medication and ask about the other option they had? Good that they are trying to find out the best combination for you. And keep phoning the crisis team, some staff are useless but worth phoning back after a shift change to talk to another one as they may be more useful!! That is what I used to do!!

fluffydressinggown Sat 11-Jan-14 18:35:29

If they need to they can put you on daily/weekly prescriptions to reduce the risk/temptation of OD. I get my medication on two weekly prescriptions which helps. I only mention it because I think that being on anti-psychotics has helped me to turn a corner a bit especially in terms of my self harm feelings.

Your CPN situation is ridiculous - why are they not giving you one and sticking with it, you need to build that relationship.

IsobelEliza Sat 11-Jan-14 22:15:00

Just posting to let you know I'm still here hoping to help. If you want to post there are people here listening and wanting to talk.

Messupmum Sun 12-Jan-14 07:08:27

Kept waking up all through the night, feel really shaky. Meant to be having a visit from crisis team this morning but I don't have anything to say to them.

HellsGranny Sun 12-Jan-14 08:19:12

I'm sure the crisis team visit will be helpful even if you feel like you have nothing to say.

IsobelEliza Sun 12-Jan-14 21:16:56

Hope the crisis team visit helped. How are this Sunday evening. Do you feel any better. Still here and listening.

Messupmum Sun 12-Jan-14 21:52:59

I couldn't see them, I said I'd call them but just can't bring myself to do it. Too scared of not knowing who will pick up the phone. They might not want me to call for no reason.

I'm ok, just can't stop thinking about bad stuff.

SilverStars Sun 12-Jan-14 22:27:24

That is a shame. Did they not have a planned visit? Could you get your usual MH worker on Monday to make an appointment with crisis for you? Do you still have the day hospital each day right no? If so can you ask a worker there to contact the crisis team for you whilst you are still under them, to reduce the stress for you.

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