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I am looking after a friend with a diagnosis of bi polar

(98 Posts)
Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:09:52

And it is a nightmare. Whatever I do, I get screamed at. I am currently trying to make cheese on toast in the Aga and whatever I do is wrong. The crisis team were visiting her twice a day and are now visiting her once a day, to give medication. Lamotrigine and an anti depressant - mitz?

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:21:01

Well, I just went to the shop and all that I was told to buy was b and h and strawberry jam. Came back to an perfect for cheese on toast and there was one bit of mouldy cheese. The dogs are not being walked. I looked up the Cinnamon Trust. Cue more screaming at me. She says that if the ct know that she cannot look after the dogs then she will be taken into hospital. Is aid that it is better that you are seen to be getting help when you need it.
I am a fair distance away, at least 45 minutes.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:25:26

Lots of auto correct there!

MrsWolowitzYouAMerryChristmas Mon 09-Dec-13 13:30:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:32:11

Btw, she lies in bed all day and night. I bought her a plate of lovely food last night and got screamed at for putting the wrong plate in the Aga.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:36:23

I am just not sure what to do for the best. She is under the crisis team and has a daughter who has told her not to rely on her. That is all.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:41:53

She ate the cheese on toast that I took up to her. She keeps saying that she just wants to die. I have to leave her now. She is seeing a psychiatrist in January. I usually feel unable to help at all but at least she has just eaten some cheese on toast.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:59:36

Ok. In terms of asking for help. I see no problem with the Cinnamon Trust. I would view this as her taking care of the dogs. Should I ring them


Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 14:10:46

She has no friends left. I am not very near. She has told me that all of her friends have abandoned her due to her illness. She has a son who refuses to speak to her and a daughter who is going the same way. And, yes, I would appreciate a bit of guidance. I am doing my best to be practical; walked the dogs, did shopping as asked. Looked up the Cinnamon Trust and a local dentist.

larahusky Mon 09-Dec-13 15:03:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:07:21

It is pretty awful to be screamed at and torn apart. I am not surprised that her friends and family have abandoned her. I can do nothing right. I am aware that I am the last person she has left and I have a pretty thick skin.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:12:31

Thanks Lara
I am on the way home and I live a fair bit away. Her daughter has stated that she cannot manage her mother. She does go inmost days and walk the dogs. But it is not really fair on her. Her son has gone NC.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:15:47

Daughter is 35 and has sn. Son refuses to answer the phone and thinks she should be hospitalised. Friend is 63. Thanks for your response. I was with her for three hours today and I am trying to respect her wishes.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:34:26

I am back home now. Only helpful suggestions are welcome. Dh is just back from the doctors and I need to nurse him and pick up his script.

gamerchick Mon 09-Dec-13 15:37:44

Maybe she needs to be hospitalised to get her stable? It doesn't sounds sustainable if you're doing the whole slog by yourself.

MrsWolowitzYouAMerryChristmas Mon 09-Dec-13 15:41:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:42:18

Lara, thanks for replying. I tend to agree with you. I only see her twice a week so I am not a primary carer. Her daughter lives locally and walks the dogs most days but I don't think that that is fair on the daughter.
It is my opinion that she should be taken in but I am not in a position to express that view.
She is hysterical about the dogs and that is why I stArted looking into the Cinnamon Trust for her but when I suggested it she started throwing things at me.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:50:28

I agree, gamechick, but it is not my call. I was there the last time the psychiatrist came round, no, another one visited last Tuesday and offered her a bed. She said no.
He changed her meds. I did give my opinion to the last but one psychiatrist when he asked me.
I think that I am waiting for her daughter to say that she cannot cope with daily feeding and daily dog walking. Dd has an and a full tile job. Friend constantly tells me to ring dd, who is local.
Thanks for your advice. Dd needs some support and I am trying to provide it. Any advice in the Cinnamon Trust?
(On phone!)

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:51:15

Dd has sn

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 19:42:06

Well, we just popped in and got another earful. She clung to me like a toddler and begged me not to leave. The crisis team are due at eight thirty to give her meds. Her daughter is not visiting and the dogs were barking. I am not surprised that all of her friends have abandoned her. Her daughter told me that when she is high she thinks she is a medium and tells people when they are going to die. Her dd has called the police out before; she was banging on neighbours doors and asking for wine and chucked all of her possessions out of the window.
I have not seen her like this.
She won't even watch tv or read a newspaper. She just lies in bed all day and night. I do know

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 19:44:32

That she is taking her drugs because the ct deliver them and watch her take them. She is seven stone and not eating. She does have special drinks on prescription.

SnowyMouse Mon 09-Dec-13 19:45:40

It sounds very difficult Chippingnortonset123 sad I don't know what to suggest, if she said no to hospital they can't make her unless they section her.

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 20:05:57

Thanks. I think that would be to call the crisis team but they are already going in daily. If she is left alone with drugs she just takes the whole lot. I kept asking her today what she wanted to happen but she wouldn't give mean answer.
I opened all of her post and she went mad at me.
It wasn't too bad; a bank statement, a by bill for 47 pounds and a mortgage demand for £80 and a letter from the depth. I made her sign and date the dwp one and I have posted it. She refuses to address her post. I think that someone needs to have power of at tourney but her children are washing their hands of her. Her daughter is 35 and has sn and her son, who is 38 and very successful refuses to return her calls.

candycoatedwaterdrops Mon 09-Dec-13 20:16:05

She sounds very unwell and it sounds like she needs to have a Mental Health Act assessment to see if she should be sectioned. I know it's horrible but she it may be for the best. sad

Chippingnortonset123 Mon 09-Dec-13 20:22:42

I was there last Friday when a psychiatrist visited. The Saturday before that two people from the ct came round to write a report about her. The psychiatrist upped her ads and started her on lamotragine (sp?).
She has not left her house since September. She saw another psychiatrist, who knows her, on Tuesday and she was offered a bed in an acute ward but she declined it. I had offered to help her pack a bag a couple of weeks ago when she couldn't even speak. She declined but yesterday I noticed a half packed bag in her bedroom. She is very worried about her dogs who are currently wearing all over the place.

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