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Help! Is this depression?

(24 Posts)
AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 08:58:08

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CeQueLEnfer Mon 09-Dec-13 09:00:30

You sound very stressed. I would be wary of putting a label on it. Money worries are an absolute killer. Is there anything you can do to help your situation?

AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 09:00:36

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ColouringInQueen Mon 09-Dec-13 14:41:02

Auntie depression has made me feel like I didn't love my dh any more (married 16 years) and I totally understand that feeling of can't be bothered to chat to him - very familiar. Some of that was down to some not great listening by him, but more me having no enthusiasm for anything.

Long term stress can lead to mental health problems, so in the first place I'd say be really kind to yourself - like you would treat a dear friend who was having a tough time. Get lots of sleep. Try and get some exercise even if its a walk to the shops. Moderate any alcohol and caffeine too. You could see your GP now. They don't always prescribe straight away - mine told me to do the minimum for 2 weeks, rest etc and then come back... You could ask the GP about anti-depressants. For me, made me feel a bit rough for a couple of weeks, but now Loads better. Take care.

LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 14:48:06

I could have written your OP - i think you are suffering from anxiety and this in turn causes depression, you can't cope with your feelings so you are switching them off. ADs certainly helped me. PM me please if you want any help with the money stuff - ive pretty much been through it all.

Oh and everything that colouringinqueen says, because she is lovely and wise smile

LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 14:52:19

It really varies on your GP too about the ADs, mine was happy to prescribe straight away although as is very common for people in this position it took me a couple of weeks to come to terms with needing them. They can make you feel a bit rubbish to start and you almost feel more anxious but this goes once they start to work, usually about a week - i found i didn't get this the first time i started on them and felt much better on the first few days, then needed to up my dose a bit after a while. They tend to start you on a lower dose - i take something called citalopram and it helps reset your seretonin levels which when they are low can lead to anxiety and anxiety can lead to low levels of seretonin so its a vicious circle - the ADs help to put that straight. They do not take your problems away for you but they put you in a better place to deal with them. I would suggest that you see your GP ASAP so that you are settled before xmas.

AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 14:56:37

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AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 15:03:44

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LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 15:05:02

That is brilliant that you have a light at the end of the tunnel - to be honest, i think that happens to lots of people, i had two breakdowns, one when i had DD and we were in terrible debt and one earlier this year, i didnt really have the breakdown until i left the job that caused it. When i first got sick i had so much to cope with, people thought i was fecking superwoman (oh i wish i was) but it was only really when the pressure was lifted that i cracked. It affected both me and DP an we nearly split up, this time around he has been a brick as he understands i am not well and can cope wth my mood swings much better. He can be an arse at times too smile I would say it took us a good few years to get on track, but we knew we wanted to.

Going to the GP will be the start, you can also ask for counselling, it helped me deal with alot of my feelings about the things that had happened/were happening.

LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 15:09:54

ha! keep cross posting - you wont feel like a zombie, it does very much depend on you what is the right AD, however they are not like the old ADs which pretty much zonked everyone out. I am on 20mg citalopram an that is the dose that most tend to maintain on. I sometimes feel tired, but who doesn't when they have children? When i was on 40mg it was too much, i wasn't so much zombiefied, i just didn't care about anything, the house could have fallen down around my ears and i would not have give a shit. 20mg takes the edge of my anxiety and Im picking myself back up again. You probably will need to be on them for about 6 months although you will notice an improvement in about two weeks.

You are most definately NOT the only one - you only have to look on this part of mnet and I can tell you that i am no longer surprised when people they meet say they are on medication - so many mums (and dads) struggling these days. I am very open about it and so many people have been in the same position. Its not about falling at the last hurdle, its about being strong for too long.

LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 15:10:38

To be honest - i am more "me" on ADs than i am off them, if that makes sense. Its the anxiety that takes me away.

AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 15:11:37

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AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 15:15:31

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LEMisafucker Mon 09-Dec-13 15:19:32

I think you could be my doppelganger!! I take it you work together on a business or you help him out with a business? which is the situation with DP and myself. Its so bloody stressful sometimes, even when things are going well, when they are not going well it is hell on earth and terrifying.

It is OK to feel angry, but how you put that across is important - so that is why counselling would be good - your GP will refer you, of course there will be a waiting list, but don't be fobbed off, insist on being referred. Once you have sorted out your anger you can present it to him, in a reasonable way, but not accusatory.

DP was totally unsympathetic last time around - to be fair i turned into psycho woman from hell blush and attacked him physically on more than one occasion. And it does wear a bit thin sometimes but its not your fault - What helped me was making DP come to the doctors with me - the doctor explained how long term stress can make you ill, not just down and miserable but ill. Once he got his head around this it made things better. I'm not going to lie, it was really shit and im pretty sure if it wasn't for DD we would have split up, but we didn't and we are stronger than ever now. Not perfect, but who is?

ColouringInQueen Mon 09-Dec-13 16:23:42

Hi Auntie sorry I had to dash for the school run... but good to see you're in v good hands with lem.

I also had a lot of anger directed towards my DH and working through that with a counsellor expressing some of it has helped with my feelings towards him. Tbh its still bumpy, but on a gradual upwards.

I think you've hit the nail on the head when you talk about being emotionally exhausted - that's it really and your brain needs time to recover.

Sorry busy this pm but am around this eve.... dcs beckon... take care

AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 17:31:16

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AuntieFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 17:33:49

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ColouringInQueen Mon 09-Dec-13 19:53:33

Yes I can relate to everything in your last post! Used to dream about getting on a train and hunkering down in a hotel bed and disappearing... But you're right - the resentment would still be there. I too was unconvinced about my dh's decision-making. He was severely depressed last year - suicidal and I was also angry with him for taking 9 months before he went to the GP.... not to mention some work stuff wink I have found talking it through very helpful, and am also learning how to express my anger more healthily - not just swallowing it down as I had done.

Have you ever done yoga? I find that quite good for giving my head a break, focusing on the movements and breathing quietens my mind.

For me, withdrawing is a defence mechanism I think, though its not always the right strategy, but for me its definitely an indicator that all is not right.

Do you have anyone irl that you can be open with about how you're feeling? I confided in one friend and she was amazing, and it was really helpful. Take care.

AuntieFanny Tue 10-Dec-13 11:54:45

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ColouringInQueen Tue 10-Dec-13 21:12:38

Sounds like a good plan with your friend. And great to hear that the htp is helping - ive read good things about it.

Hmm I can imagine the fake it til you make it is not very encouraging. Could you agree a time frame? If no improvement by... then gp?

NanaNina Wed 11-Dec-13 01:01:42

auntfanny just wanted to say (as I'm sure you already know) that you couldn't have two more helpful, empathetic and honest women as CiQ and Lem - hello you two !!

ColouringInQueen Wed 11-Dec-13 09:33:24

Morning Fanny and hello nana!

LEMisafucker Wed 11-Dec-13 09:42:12

Good to see you are still around nananina smile kind words xx

AF do mention to your doctor that you are taking thr 5'HTP as this,I think, can interact with certain AD's and you may need a break before starting. One good thing to know is that thete is loads of 5'HTP in chocolate ;-)

Hope you are feeling brighter today x

ColouringInQueen Thu 12-Dec-13 20:31:01

Hi fanny how are you doing this evening?

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