I dont think i can face this

[HeffaFlump]

Its my Dps birthday tomorrow & we are supposed to be going out Cinema/Meal & drinks .
I just can't face going out and doing all this as I don't like been out of my home recently .

Dp is really looking forward to it as we have not been out this year

Is there anyway I can get out of it without upsetting my Dp

[Mintyy]

Oh dear .

What help are you having for this problem? Have you talked about it with rl friends/family?

[CaptainSweatPants]

Maybe get this moved to mental health :(

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Gee let me think, how can you get out of your child's birthday..... Yup I'm coming up with hundreds of acceptable reasons, NOT.

If you are suffering go to the GP, do something. Or Xmas will be hellish. Something's wrong. Face that. That's the problem. Not the party.

Post in mental health? There's knowledgeable posters there who can take the fear out of the process and help.

Truly hope u get the strength up to go to the GP.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Ah completely read that wrong DP not child!!! I thought u meant his child! Apologies. However getting help still applies or dec will be so upsetting for u.

[Mintyy]

It is her partner's birthday! fgs.

[HeffaFlump]

Minnie

I have been to my gp a gazillion times not that its any use

[Untilthecowscomehome]

The cinema might be easier to face than the meal. You're in the dark, not expected to make conversation and no one can see you.

Why don't you suggest the cinema but with a takeaway afterwards? That way you've only got to worry about getting to the cinema which you might feel able to manage.

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Why is the gp no use?

What are you telling them and what do they say/do?

[HeffaFlump]

I have asked for this to be moved to MH .

I have on going MH problems which I thought I had control of , but for the past five weeks I have reverted back to how bad I was 7 years ago .
My Doc just said you are already on meds what else do you expect me to do

[HettiePetal]

Even if she'd been talking about a DC, your sneering, sarcastic post would still have been innappropriate, Minnie.

I take it this is some form of agoraphobia, Heffa? Have you spoken to your GP about CBT?

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Ok so you need to change gp, ask for chnage of meds, ask for counselling/therapy.

It is your responsibility to deal with this and that means not being defeatist and forcing professionals to take you seriously by providing any help that is available to you.

[hellokittymania]

Can you manage the cinema? Can you have a special meal at home or do as another poster suggested and get a takeaway? Do nice restaurants do takeaways too?

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Minty I said and apologised for misreading the op. Did u misread my post? I genuinely read original as post about shared child not DP.

I'm sorry GP not helpful. I took it by the plea that you weren't or hadn't tried. Why hasn't that helped?

[Antidote]

Why not try breaking it down into little chunks in your head and focusing on each step at a time.

For example, practice standing outside the door, just on the step for a few mins until it is less terrifying. Then go to the start of the street (or sit in the car) a few times.


you can them think through the step of driving to the cinema, then paying, then sitting in the film.

Don't jump ahead too far and freak yourself out.

You could well get yourself to the point where the film is manageable. The meal might have to wait for another day.

It sounds tough.

[Mintyy]

No I cross posted with you Minnie.

[spanky2]

Mindfulness will help you. It will help focus you on the now not the what ifs . Break it down into small steps . Practice going out for increasingly long spells away from home to take the edge off. Anti depressant with anti anxiety benefits ?

[callamia]

Eventually, it will probably help you to see a different GP. Medication is rarely a good enough fix for anxiety - it can definitely help, but you will probably also need to work on the thought processes.

For now, what can you manage for your oartner's birthday? Can you manage just the cinema? Tell yourself that you can go home afterwards. You might realise that it's not so bad, and choose to stay out - or you might go home without causing a scene (or feeling like you are - I don't imagine you actually would).

How can your partner support you? I know it's his birthday, but perhaps there are some things he can do to make you feel calmer and well supported when you go out.

You've clearly got through this once before, and I'm sure you can do it again, but be kind to yourself, it's not easy and you will need some good support from the people around you.

[JulieMumsnet]

Hi,

We're just letting you know that we've been asked to move this into the mental health section.

Wishing you all the best, HeffaLump

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Heffa just reiterating genuine f up by me here. Apologies again. Hope you get stuff sorted x