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Overeating battles

(137 Posts)
IWishYouWould Wed 06-Nov-13 14:09:01

Has anyone who uses overeating as a coping mechanism, overcome their issues? I'm trying to find other people who battle with this to start a support chat. I'm currently at my worst and I am gathering the courage to tackle my underlying causes. but where to start?

IWishYouWould Sun 01-Dec-13 21:43:46

As mentioned above, I'm struggling so badly right now. My week is like a roller coaster. I start in control and feel immense that I am 'managing'. then I fall of the wagon and I feel incredibly useless and of course eat more. Trying to not pile on the pressure is difficult when you feel like a total failuresad .

Im officially the biggest I have ever been. My size 20 clothes are crying when I wear them, I'm back to a 22. I'm uncomfortable day to day. My back aches and I constantly feel like its because I'm fat and short. The one good thing I have achieved, is that I can admit that sentence and not feel like crying. My BMI also makes me feel so guilty. Why, when I know the damage I'm causing do I not have the control to stop this stupid cycle?sad sad

Tomorrow is my first help group meeting. I'm desperate for it to be somewhere I feel able to go. social events like this make me very nervous. But I so badly need help. In December I will also start CBT. Hopefully rewiring my psychological responses will loosen the grip this horrible condition has on me.

This week is almost 3 weeks clear of anti d's. All was going perfect until the last three days. I don't know if I'm feeling bad and eating which makes me unhappy. Or whether I'm unhappy and thats why I'm eating. I guess that is the area I need to think on this week. Do I need to make changes in my life? I do wish this was a problem you could bandage and it would heal, rather than untangling this messsad confused

IWishYouWould Sun 01-Dec-13 21:55:12

I have posted in Site Stuff, asking for an eating disorders section.

It would be great if any of you that agree, could add messages of support for the idea. I know the title could be more sensitive, buy the request was just getting the point across.

There are so many people with anorexia, bulemia, permarexia, binge eating, over eating and simply bad relationships with food. That's a lot of us who need support and help.

Hermione123 Mon 02-Dec-13 13:32:12

I'll find that and second it, have lurked in mh for a whole looking for ed threads.
Welcome harrap, yes, so so familiar, that feast or famine, on/off, good/bad mentality is exactly what we need to address. If I'm not bingeing i want to be really slim immediately smile I also think focusing taking care of yourself is helpful. I'm trying to take care of myself this week by eating lots of things that will nourish me.

Hermione123 Mon 02-Dec-13 13:34:21

Iwishyouwould, let us know how the group meeting goes, social things I never want to go to but after the first time it'll be a lot easier.

harrap Mon 02-Dec-13 16:44:09

I do know that I was pretty unwell when I was very thin-totally obsessed-looking for something I could control make me feel better after a split from my boyfriend.
I am saner now.

3asAbird Mon 02-Dec-13 19:47:00

I wish you would -good ide as lots of sites see to be aimed at younger age groups ie young girls.

Im struggling again.

I starve, binge and purge, and on days off over eat.

feel so unhappy with myself.

feel yself slipping deeper as being sick destresses me.

Hermione123 Mon 02-Dec-13 20:56:23

3asabird, try and remind yourself of the physical probls being sick will cause you though, it's not good for your body. Totally get what you mean about it des treading but can you get out for a walk to clear your head or put some music on and jump around?

IWishYouWould Tue 03-Dec-13 17:38:48

Hi everyone, I hope today has been a good one for you all. I promised an update after my help group session last night. Well it has been the best decision for me. I was nervous, but there wasn't anything scary. I actually felt able to talk. It really helped to be in a room where I was understood. This is definitely a new addition in my calendar. Although its only my first session, I feel much more

Ephiny Tue 03-Dec-13 21:15:03

I think the eating disorders section is a good idea too.

I struggle with binging/purging, not sure if this is the right place to talk about it, but I came here looking for a support thread and this was the closest one I found.

I agree a lot of support groups/sites etc seem to be aimed at teenagers and young people, I sometimes feel like I must be the only one to have a problem like this in my 30s, but I'm sure I'm not!

3asAbird Tue 03-Dec-13 22:43:48

Ephiney you not alone i feel so crap being amum in my 30s with this issue.

sounds like we have lot in common.

im 33 and this has been ongoing problem on and off since I was 12.

Hermione123 Wed 04-Dec-13 08:23:24

Yep also a mum in her 30s and though my disorder has changed over the years it has never gone away. So glad Iwishyouwould's group session went well! I think it really helps to talk to people who get it.

3asAbird Wed 04-Dec-13 09:46:51

I think people think young girls when they see anything about eating disorders yet they on rise in 30-40 age group.

Many see it as about being thin when its really about other things ie stress.

Many dont suspect unless persons very thin.

My husband thinks its funny that john prescott bulimic as hes big guy .

I guess all disorders is linked to emotions +food either binging or restricting.

I feel worse this relapse as now i have kids seems worse and would hate the kids to know or copy.

Im not feeling ready to tackle it yet or admit to anyone I have a problem.

Kind of hoping its just phase and once xmas out way can focus on it more for me stress has caused a relapse.

IWishYouWould Wed 04-Dec-13 10:43:34

This morning has been quite nice to catch up with all the posts. Not that I want people to be unwell or struggling. but I know we are all here searching for help, advice or just the knowledge we arent alone. I agree that at unless your thin then it's over looked or misunderstood. Worst of all dismissed as negative stereotypes if your not suffering from the socially accepted illnesses. I think we can go a long way to helping raise awareness for other conditions simply by being here and talking to each other. It makes me really happy to know that emotional overeating (which is what I have now) is being recognised finally. BEAT is doing a great job of helping to do this.
I'm in my 30's too. Previously suffering with anorexia.but the other way for some years now. I thought I was alone in that change of situation, but I have seen on here I'm not. Even that small revelation has made me feel different about myself.
I hope other people feel able to join us here for support. We have so much experience of the hardships and stresses that come with these issues. im sure we can help others even if its just to know we are listening. Thank you to those who have added to the Site Stuff request. I thinknwe have given MNHQ a lot to consider.

IWishYouWould Wed 04-Dec-13 11:23:09

After the support group and a comment I read on here, I thought outlining some guidelines for the thread might ba a good idea. (any other suggestions / edits are greatly welcomed)

1. No talking about individual calorie intake.
2. No talking about numbers / weight / sizes.
3. Keep the group as support. any negative comments directed at individuals or the group be reported and rejected by the group.
4. A general all welcome approach.
5. respect other points of view.

IWishYouWould Wed 04-Dec-13 11:24:23

blush I'm aware that I have already broken #2. This was insensitive and I apologise for any upset it may have caused.

NorthernShores Wed 04-Dec-13 13:50:33

I saw the thread mentioned on the site stuff thread and have come over. I'm huge and have been in the last two years. Always had disordered eating but only last two years have I ballooned.

I haven't read the whole thread yet but will. I go to a support group most weeks but not a lot is changing with my habits. Its so blinking hard. People say it's not about the food but I si wish I jag the food under control.

harrap Wed 04-Dec-13 14:46:57

Sorry, I started talking about sizes and I agree its probably best not to.

This thread has already been good for me because I have managed to be more "mindful" about what I'm eating the last few days. But again this morning I found myself chomping on some stale French loaf with lashings of butter without enjoying it or, to begin with, even noticing I was doing it. No coincidence I'm tired and have too much to do today.

Anyhow, I managed to stop and make some proper breakfast. I'm going to try making a positive effort to have defined snacks and meals-no deprivation and no obsession but just be aware of what I'm doing.

Really grateful to everybody for sharing. I think overeating is just seen as greed and weakness by many but there is so much more to that that.

IWishYouWould Wed 04-Dec-13 17:07:53

Hi Northernshores, its great that you found us. A huge positive I can see from your post is that you go to your help group. Although you don't think you're making a difference in habits, just taking that step for yourself is great. I would imagine things to be a lot worse without that support and outlet. So you are already going in the right direction.
Harrap, I wouldn't worry too much. This is very much a work in progress for us all. But its great to see your name pop up and know you're getting a benefit from the chat. Hopefully by helping each other we can boost our moral a bit. Anything in that area must help to lay the foundations for recovery and a brighter future for us allthanks

Dontletthemgetyoudown Thu 05-Dec-13 14:08:57

HI, I feel that this might be where I belong. I know I overeat and I self sabotage. If I have done well and lost a lot of weight (have lost a huge amount of weight in the last two years, but started back on the overeating cycle)

I have been on anti'd in the past and I felt that they didn't help, but the gp wouldn't change either my dose or the type of antid. I was on 30mg citalopram (the mg might be mcg but the number was 30) and he wouldn't let me use more. I have had cognitive therapy too, paid for by my work health insurance.

I just feel that I'm not in a great place. obviously a lot find this time of year incredibly stressful, but I'm getting to the point that I feel like I don't want to go out of the house, that I'm not worthy of having a good relationship. I have the same type of relationships over and over again, generally useless men who do nothing, and moan that things aren't perfect or that they don't get enough attention. I have 4 dc fgs they are my priority.

I lost weight for my children, I felt that it was a better example for them and I feared that they might be bullied for having a fat mum, but I can feel the urge to eat, and I know it won't stop. I have a phobia of vomiting so even though I really want to vomit after binging, I just can't. I end up feeling like maybe if I cut myself or hurt myself in some way that that would be a good enough punishment for over eating. Again I haven't but its at the forefront of my mind all the time.

I also feel that perhaps if I left the children with their dad they would be better off. instead of living with a mum who screws everything up. Since we got divorced we've had rubbish rented accommodation and had to move every 6 months. i have been in this house for 18 months and now hopefully have stability but its that doubt hat living in rented means at anytime i can get notice and have to upheave the children again, whereas xh has his own house and doesn't have that threat over him.

scared of disappointing everyone? that is something huge in my life, going out of my way to make sure the children have material things, things that i know don't really make a difference but if i don't buy them im letting them down. This isn't them asking for things its me, i see a child of the same age with 5 monster high dolls and my dd only has 3 so i have to buy her 2 more, one of ds1's friends has an ipod dock, ds1 doesn't so i buy him one do you see what i mean?

Luckily my spending doesn't cause us any financial difficulty but i do feel i waste a lot, which then gets me down and so i eat. Eating makes everything feel right at the time. I savour it and dream about eating delicious foods, doesn't even have to be gourmet, i might be craving a bowl of angel delight or a steak with chips and onion rings, but i literally have no off button.

gosh sorry that was long, sometimes just writing it all down helps a little.

3asAbird Thu 05-Dec-13 20:04:48

Dont let them get you down.sorry you having tough time of it.

Remember your ddss need you its not all about home ownner ship and wealth.

try put dark thourghts to back of mind.

wish i could stop vommiting.
i have 2girls and worry they might end up with eating disorder.

we rent private and might have to move after christmas that scares ad streses me even though i hate current house.

financially we striggle some months now husnands new ob low basic commision only thats a worry.

I think all parents worry about if they got enough.

im worried reckon our xmas shop be last min.

feel like juggle alot with 3 never mind 4 like my brain cant switch off.

At the moment the worries about youngest consume me and gettig shool place for dd3.

feel like pressure cooker about to explode.

have been sick twice today and resticted eating feel so tired.

made hm lasagne and cant face eating it but did force myself have small bowl of soup, im trying.

Hubby feesl liek im not attentive enough, shiftt , always down and distant he does not understand how i feel or what i do.

Dontletthemgetyoudown Thu 05-Dec-13 20:44:53

Thank you 3 there are some comparable there. Renting in the uk sucks!

I've been exercising a lot after a binge I will go for a run for hours or go to the gym again for hours or if I can't go out because the children are here and no one to look after them I will run up and down the stairs do push ups, go on the trampoline and exercise. I get obsessed with googling calorie contents and then how long of an exercise to burn those calories.

Very I'm mumsnet like hug to you all.

Dontletthemgetyoudown Thu 05-Dec-13 20:45:42

Un not I'm?

3asAbird Thu 05-Dec-13 23:59:58

Dont let them get you down-

I do same other day tried to find out calories burned by crunches.

I dont eat anythng unless i know how many.

I mentally add up calories consumed in day due to few beers tonight im over what I had set myself.

I do secret crunches, sit up leg exercies and run up and down stairs.

toddlers jammed the wii.

I constantly feel

anxious,guilty or panicky about food.

appertly exrecise is anoter way or purging just like being sick.

ARealPickle Fri 06-Dec-13 06:14:45

sad it's pretty crap isn't it. I'd love to be rid of all the crazy in my head around eating.

I can see 'it's not about the food' but still not sure where to start. I can't order a new self esteem on Amazon or undo difficult childhood or remove all the current stress full situations. It feels so unfair, like I have a defective emotional part and that my attempts to change behaviour won't make any difference.

3asAbird Fri 06-Dec-13 07:50:31

had a huge row with husband and not even 8am.

feel so stressed and tired . upset hes fails to appciate how much i do.

Asked if I was having an affair I dont have time for blooming affair.

Going to try not binge and purge but emotionally feel all over the place.

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