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This is getting unbearable - dont know what to do

(17 Posts)
susanalbumparty Thu 19-Sep-13 17:31:55

Since About mid-August I have been suffering with anxiety. It came on really quickly one morning 0-60 and it hasn't really stopped. It was triggered by a minor error I found i made on a planning appeal form for a work project which suddenly took on irrational and epic proportions. It worked out OK, it was a non- issue, but I worried myself sick for 3 weeks until it resolved. Ever since then I have found more and more things to worry about at work and I am now at the point where I have no perspective at all. I wake up terrified, I spend the day terrified, I have suicidal thoughts, i am irritable with DH and DS, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I am losing weight etc.

Today was the worst day by far, i have been crying and shaking all day. I called the Samaritans I was feeling so scared. The lady I spoke to said to go to my GP and get an emergency appointment. I called but they were closed. DH is going to come with me in the morning.

I have been to the GP twice about this in the last few weeks. They have fixed me up with phone CBT which I am not finding useful yet. They say it is anxiety and work related stress. I know work is a trigger but I think because things came on so quickly that it is hormonal, I think I am taking too much levothyroxine but as my blood results are normal the GP says that's not it. The only time I felt like this before is when I had hyperthyroidism. I feel so despondent. I feel ashamed. I am scared to take ADs in case they make me worse. I just want it end.

I am scared that I will not be able to sleep tonight and that I will be up all night panicking. I have a n important document to finish for work and I am scared I will cock it up and miss the deadline.

pudseypie Thu 19-Sep-13 20:01:22

Dont be afraid of taking ad's. At least you have some cbt counselling. I've had 9 sessions of it so far and it's not an instant cure. I wouldn't say I feel any better yet as it takes a while to work through everything. Hang in there, be completely honest with gp. Can you take some time off work? Sending you supportbrew

susanalbumparty Thu 19-Sep-13 20:48:16

Hey thanks for the reply and support. I feel so lost at the moment. If it takes ADs to get on top of this then I'll go for it. Are you taking ADs in addition to CBT?

pudseypie Thu 19-Sep-13 21:06:12

yes I have both and the ad's have made a massive difference and I mostly, apart from the odd day, feel normal again. Let us know how you get on at gp tomorrow. Will be thinking of you

LEMisdisappointed Thu 19-Sep-13 21:10:54

I think ADs would really help you, your anxiety sounds very physical, which is where i was with anxiety brought on by work stress. It is always worse in the morning because that is when your cortisone levels peak.

So you are going to the docs tomorrow with your DP, thats brilliant, so try and relax as you can talk to your GP tomorrow about a plan for going forward - if its really that bad, consider being signed off work for a few weeks.

I am on ADs, specifically for my anxiety - they work well. They take a few weeks to kick in and you can get some side effects when you first start, for most it is just a case of feeling a bit rushy and sick, sometimes it can affect your sleep and make you more anxious but you can take short term diazepam to overcome this. The ADs aren't a cure, they wont deal with the root of the problem, only you can do that, but they put you in a state of mind where you can tackle it.

OnaPromise Thu 19-Sep-13 21:24:32

It sounds like it's been horrible for you. I experienced something very similar a couple of years ago. I also take levothryoxine actually, and I think the wonky thyroid does affect me, but it's not the whole story.

Ad's can be helpful to get back onto an even keel. I've come off them again but I'd go back on them if I thought I needed to. Hopefully you'll start to feel better now getting support. It's good that dh is coming with you tomorrow.

HoopHopes Thu 19-Sep-13 23:45:21

Sorry to hear that. Can you ask for a referral to a consultant to check your thyroid. I learnt with thyroid there are several levels to check and it is not always as straight forward as one blood test by a gp so worth getting that checked especially as you can link how you feel from this issue before.

susanalbumparty Fri 20-Sep-13 08:21:42

Morning and thanks for the replies over night. I have a GP appointment at 3.30 today. I didn't sleep at all last night and I feel very anxious this morning with lots of gagging going on. Anyway, I hope I will be able to calm down enough by 3.30 to give a good account of myself. DH will come with me which will be a good support.

I will ask for the full range of thyroid tests to be done again and I will discuss AD options.

Thanks for your words of support. I will let you know how I get on.

LEMisdisappointed Fri 20-Sep-13 09:17:38

Best of luck you may want to consider some sleeping tablets to break the sleep cycle

susanalbumparty Fri 20-Sep-13 09:33:57

Good point LEM. Thanks.

susanalbumparty Fri 20-Sep-13 16:57:30

Went to the GP with DH. I have been signed off work for 3 weeks and have some Zopiclone to help sleep for the next three nights. I am going to see how I go without ADs for a bit longer. If things don't pick up I will go back and review this. Also, having all my thyroid function tests doen this time rather than just TSH, so will wait to see what that turns up.

DH was a great support. Thanks to all of you too for being there when I needed to vent and for your suggestions. I hope you are well today.

LEMisdisappointed Fri 20-Sep-13 17:43:28

Zopiclone is a wonderful thing takes about half hour to work wake up feeling refreshed good about being signed off the rest will be good for uou x

susanalbumparty Fri 20-Sep-13 18:21:52

Thanks LEM. Can't wait to get a good nights sleep.

pudseypie Fri 20-Sep-13 19:47:01

Glad you got something sorted today and you have a fantastic support from your dh. Hope you get some good sleep and relax a bit while you are off work. Keep us posted how you are doing smile

HoopHopes Fri 20-Sep-13 19:51:28

Sounds a good plan! Some improved sleep, time away from what is causing you stress, a chance to practise your cbt and further options if you need it. Hope you can plan some nice things into those 3 weeks.

susanalbumparty Fri 20-Sep-13 21:23:58

Thanks all. I am just a bit concerned about telling my employer on Monday but I will have to bite the bullet. Take care.

HoopHopes Fri 20-Sep-13 22:21:06

Lots of people have time off in jobs, employers are used to it. Hope it goes ok.

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