Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

have i made a mistake

(92 Posts)
porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 10:32:21

started today in year 7 chose a school short drive or 15mins walk we also have a school opposite our house child preferred the other one. went in today dropped them down i have come home in a complete panic thinking i should of chose the one over the road as now worrying about picking up dropping off every day no other children walking this way can't help thinking what have i done

tiggytape Wed 04-Sep-13 10:37:53

A 15 minute walk isn't too bad - for most people even their local school is much further than that.
She may need dropping off for the first few weeks, but as she gets more confident she'll be able to walk it alone even if nobody else from your road goes that direction.

You could always walk the route with her at the weekends to get her used to it? If she likes the school a 15 minute journey isn't something to worry about.

lljkk Wed 04-Sep-13 10:40:10

15 minute walk is nothing! confused Our closest school is 25 minute walk, and DC have actually chosen schools 45 minute away by walk+bus/train.

cory Wed 04-Sep-13 10:40:44

Does your child have SN? Or is there any other reason a healthy 11yo cannot walk on his/her own for 15 minutes? My ds has a 35 minute walk to secondary school- and his fitness and general health have improved noticeably since he started Yr 7.

Just wave him off and let him get on with it. Oh, and encourage him to do his own sandwiches. wink

Ime once children get to secondary school a lot more independence will be expected of them, by teachers, their peers and everybody.

This is a good and useful thing as it helps them prepare for adult life. Go with it, enjoy it, see it as a positive thing. smile

cory Wed 04-Sep-13 10:42:36

Sorry, was it a her? Oh well, same principle.

You will probably also find that by the end of the year, her friends expect her to be able to come with them on shopping expeditions, trips to the cinema etc without parents. Again, very useful training: teach her how to use public transport and make sure she is confident.

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 10:43:04

i know i am overeacting compared to what others do i suppose the one over the road would of been the easy option the school they go to come out earlier than the other one so no clashes she loved it and it is a lot smaller so once inside i know its the best option i suffered from pnd and some events i find hard to deal with this is one of them

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 10:44:58

thank you for your words on encouragement it helps me think rationally feel better already

cory Wed 04-Sep-13 10:59:45

Oh you poor thing!

But I am sure you have made the right decision on this one, she will be fine, and it will be reassuring for you to see how she gradually grows in independence and maturity.

Speaking as the mother of older teens there is nothing more reassuring than to realise that you don't have to be there for them at every single moment because they are actually sensible competent people who can cope with more than we give them credit for.

And a 15 minute walk at either end of the day will do something towards counteracting the health risks of the modern sedentary lifestyle.

tywysogesgymraeg Wed 04-Sep-13 11:04:15

By Christmas, she'll be wanting to go somewhere after school with her mates anyway, so you won't be needed for pick ups. And there may well be other kids who live further away than you, but who walk part of the route DD would follow - and she can hook up with them to walk.

Honnestly - 15 min walk is nothing - she can easily do this herself, starting straight away. Many kids walk or bus far further than this to their nearest school, not just to one they have chosen which is further away.

fridgealwaysfull Wed 04-Sep-13 11:47:11

15 min is nothing, it's ok. Probably quite healthy anyway to have a 30 min every daysmile

basildonbond Wed 04-Sep-13 11:58:36

ds1 had to walk 15 mins to the station every day when he was 10 (changed schools for Y6) and then had another 10 minute walk when he got off the train

he knew no-one when he started but it was fine - his teachers said they could tell the children who were travelling independently as they were much more confident than the ones who were still being ferried around by parents

relax - she will be fine!

Evageorge Wed 04-Sep-13 13:16:11

Don't panic. Far too early to panic. A 15 minute walk is nothing. Your child will appreciate the space from school and home when they get going.

Blu Wed 04-Sep-13 14:04:59

Within a week she will be mortified to be seen being dropped off or collected by you!

A 15 min walk is nothing - and there will almost certainly be people walking to her school from about half way along the route.

Secondary transfer is a scary moment, but it will all feel normal and easy very soon.

Glad she had a good first day.

Ginandtonictime Wed 04-Sep-13 14:11:21

I think you need to take a deep breath and hold on to your original gut feel that the school you've chosen is the right choice for your daughter.

And you seriously need to get your head round the fact that any minute now, your precious offspring is going to turn to you and say "Mum - I can get to school myself ... step out of my loop!"

In my experience, school children are like iron filings! They gather together within 5 minutes of stepping out of their front door! Just wait and see ...

sicily1921 Wed 04-Sep-13 16:17:03

try not to worry, your DC is getting older and prob wants more independence anyway and if they/you prefer the school further away that's the main thing!

I was worried about my DD (yr 7) walking 25 min but trying to think 'it will do her good'!

TallulahBetty Wed 04-Sep-13 16:23:44

Also, if your child preferred the school she is at, surely it's best that she goes to that one?

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 20:24:43

ok heres the whole story i have had a breakdown today and i am going to see my doc tom have been on anti ds before so will need them again my mom had to come round i was hysterical and blame myself by putting my child in a school not over the round i have had panic attacks sureley this is not normal i have had one diazapan to help

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud Wed 04-Sep-13 21:00:47

Your daughter is at a school she likes, and that counts for a lot.

I hope your doctor can give you some practical and moral help and support tomorrow. Is your mum still with you?

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 21:46:30

no husband had to go to sleep im so anxious its painful feeling like there is no hope having palpitations

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 21:47:47

so wishing i could turn back the clock

Blu Wed 04-Sep-13 21:54:49

PorkPie, you chose a good school. The journey is fine. Has your dd had a good day?

Now, concentrate on yourself and looking after yourself. Did your Mum stay? It does sound a very good idea to see your GP and get some help for this panic, maybe some counselling as well as some medication?

Tell us about your dd's day at school smile

Or if you are too panicky to post and your Mum has gone, remember you can always call the Samaritans until you can get to a GP. Is there a friend you could call and chat to? Anything to stop you dwelling on your feelings of panic.

porkpie12 Wed 04-Sep-13 22:00:27

i was going to ask for counselling i do this everytime there is a major change in their lives i will try the samaratans do u know the no i just need to get through the night

Marmitelover55 Wed 04-Sep-13 22:33:03

Hi porkpie12 - sorry to hear his awful you are feeling. Just wondered if you have ever had your thyroid checked? Hope you don't mind me asking, but palpitations, depression and anxiety are common side effects of an over active and under active thyroid. Hugs to you xx

Marmitelover55 Wed 04-Sep-13 22:36:27

The Samaritans number is 08457909090. Xx

Blu Wed 04-Sep-13 22:49:26

Talking it through with the samaritans is a good idea. It's their job smile.

It is a big transition, PorkPie, get the support you need.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now