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Mental health

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maniclady · 23/08/2013 12:56

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maniclady · 23/08/2013 13:05

Hi I have nc for this. I want to kill myself all I think about is how many pills I have. The reason I want to kill myself is because I have type 1 bipolar and on my last episode started a affair with my best friend. The problem is not only did I fall in love but discovered he has loved me since I was 13.

This affair is continuing and I still love my DH but the thought of choosing between my best friend who I love very much and my DH is making me want to kill myself so I don't have to. I also hate myself for lying to my dh and have stopped my meds as I don't deserve to feel well which means I'm depressed and the voices are back telling me to kill myself.

I hate what I am doing so much, I hate lying to dh and I just want to die.