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Bipolar - How Do You Know You're Better?

(33 Posts)
DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 31-Jul-13 11:44:52

I didn't know I was unwell so I'm finding it difficult to know if I am okay now.

All I was doing was talking too much, overly excitable, not sleeping, spending too much, I am on 300mg quetiapine XR and I'm sleeping but it's a strange sleep, I wake absolutely soaking in sweat every morning and have done since sometime last year, I have bizarre dreams but I don't know what about tbh.

I have also read a few threads on here with people taking the same kind of meds and saying they are tired, I'm not tired at all until I take the quetiapine XR at 9/10pm, then I start yawning.

I still talk a lot but how do you know if you just talk too much anyway? I can still be excitable but I've always been excitable, am I not supposed to be? confused

I see my Doc again on Monday but he asks me if I feel better and I don't know because I felt fine (apart from not sleeping) anyway, I wondered if anyone else with bipolar could tell me if they felt a definite change in mood?

I also find it difficult to talk to the psych as he makes me nervous, he tells constant jokes and I get never know when he is being serious or not but he thinks I'm a lot better than when he first seen me. I asked my Mum and he said she cannot see any change in me at all.

Sorry this a bit long!

Juneywoony Thu 08-Aug-13 10:23:47

Hi Wimpy Mum, following this thread out of interest as I want to know myself.

Since being diagnosed earlier this year and being on meds I feel like I have been worse, I just keep getting really low and having mixed states, I feel so wary of new meds and changes as I've had some awful side effects from some, I'm on Depakote now but it has made me so flat and low, recently had the dose lowered and a low dose of ad introduced so really hoping that does the job. I hate living like this as I don't know who I am anymore I find myself questioning myself constantly is this me or the illness making me feel this way etc..

Interesting to hear that people have got better and are med free as I was under the impression I would need to take meds for life, I'm on the waiting list for psychotherapy and hoping that once that starts something will just click back in my mind.

Wish I had some helpful advice for you. xx

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Thu 08-Aug-13 15:34:37

Sorry you are not feeling great either juney

Psych said I seemed okay and I think he was going to just leave me on 600mg quetiapine (with bad sweats dreams) and at the thought of that I promptly started crying and told him I couldn't cope with my mind racing blush

I've to try 7.5mg Olanzapine and he said 'they might make you want to eat chocolate' and I've came home and googled and sure enough I'm no doubt going to put on more weight. I will try to control 'eating chocolate urges'.

I also have Nitrazepam to take if the Olanzapine don't work. He may put me up to 15mg on Monday if 7.5mg doesn't work.

To go to bed later he said, and take Olanzapine at 10.00pm if not sleeping by 12am take the Nitrazapine and he apologised in advance if I feel like a zombie when I visit him on Monday. hmm

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Thu 08-Aug-13 15:37:57

Oh and yes psych agreed I could be med free one day after I'm calmed down a bit and we had a bit of a laugh at me saying when I felt 'normal', I also asked if he thought it was xh or stress of moving house which flicked the switch in my brain.

He couldn't say but did tell me has a patient who was 'fine' until she became unwell recently after she turned 92 and she is now being treated for bipolar.

Mirages Fri 09-Aug-13 08:32:23

wow. Your mind must really race. Hopefully those meds help.
How does it feel when your mind is racing? I have bipolar and have been frequently asked if my mind races.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 09-Aug-13 09:25:55

I just cannot stop thinking, I think about everything, when people are speaking I'm already thinking about my next sentance or something else that I think I know about the subject they are talking about.

When I talk my word sometimes get muddled, as Im trying to concentrate on what I say but part of my mind is already thinking about something else.

When I try to read, say it's a magazine, I often turn several pages and realise I haven't read a word, as I've been thinking about something else and not taking in the words.

When I'm not on anything, my lips also move sometimes and I think out loud. I can get away with pretending to sing in the car but have to make a conscious effort for my mouth not to move when I'm in the street.

Even my bloody typing is affected I lose words, so have to spell check, even then I miss words out.

I thing is I don't do a lot, so I tend to tell people the same things over and over again.

My mum can only handle around 30 minutes of my company then leaves, my dad is better but often tells me to 'shut up and eat ffs, you never shut up'!

I have been like this since last September/October.

I took 7.5mg of Olanzapine last night and 10mg of nitrazipine and woke up every hour on the hour, but I slept, I just woke a bit, sweats not as bad.

I have a home team to call too, phsyc said my pills may try play tricks on my mind and I may feel suicidal between now and Monday.

I feel okay. Spending the morning with family so will see how my talking is. Basically I talk way too much and think way too much.

Are you feeling any better?

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 09-Aug-13 09:28:26

*on anything - i.e on valium, then chlopromizine to slow thoughts down but down to 10mg now on diazepam as detest the addiction to them

Mirages Sat 10-Aug-13 13:32:42

Interesting your description of racing mind. I am not sure if I have ever had it but definitely some points you mention sounds familiar.

When I was hypomanic I could not sleep either. Sleeping meds or some mood stabilizers did not work. When I started lithium, I started to sleep well (and a lot).

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sat 10-Aug-13 17:59:12

I had a great sleep last night, no sweats, only woke up once all night, then finally got up around 10.00am which is unheard of for me. ~I don't feel too drowsy or anything

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