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Everything I plan, think or do seems to be an attempt to make amends for me being such an awful person

(4 Posts)
goodjambadjar Tue 30-Jul-13 15:11:59

You're not an awful person, you have stuck to your principles. That is admirable!

It seems the people you are dealing with like their own little world. they have asked for advice, but you could have been the fourth person they've asked, and everyone else said what they wanted to hear. They don't want the truth, or if they do, they want you to really sugar coat it!

Sounds like you're doing a good job wrt getting maintenance. Don't worry yourself too much about it. x

anna891 Tue 30-Jul-13 14:56:44

Oh, and you are not a awful person. Your mother don't sound too good though, taking the side of your aggressive brother.

anna891 Tue 30-Jul-13 14:52:45

I have realized after many years that honesty is not always the best option.
Chuck um a bone, say what they want to hear. Play the game.
Its a shame, but many people would rather live in denial than hear the truth.

colditz Tue 30-Jul-13 14:43:41

I've offended two friends by not understanding that when they said they wanted my honest opinion, they wanted me to lie. I've upset my e x's social circle by insisting on having maintenance for our children. I've upset my mother, asking her to stop taking my brothers side after he assaulted me. I've offended my boyfriend by asking him to stop making rude remarks about someone I care about.

I am clearly doing something wrong, approaching it wrong, but people all say they value honesty and they DON'T. Not one person this year has valued my honesty, even when they have insisted on having it.

I have resolved to not only avoid confrontations (my New Years resolution) but now to avoid being honest. Next time I am asked for a honest opinion, I'm going to lie through my teeth. I'm going to be two faced, i shall pretend everything is fine and dandy and that I'm happy when I'm not.

Maybe then I will stop haemorrhaging friendships.

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