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Can PND be diagnosed after a year? Feeling lost and hopeless.

(38 Posts)
CarrotsAndApples Sat 27-Jul-13 11:49:57

Name change for this as finding it hard to talk about possible PND in real life. Sorry it is a bit long.

I would like to know if anyone succeeded with a PND diagnosis and treatment when their baby was older? I feel like I have lied to everyone about how bad I have felt, and it is only now I am starting to have some better times that I can look back and see how bad it was. I still feel really awful so am wondering if I could still ask for help now?

Kids are 3 and 5. Traumatic birth with first child, stressful jaundice treatment, crying baby who didn't sleep. I was pleased to be home after finding hospital hard, so put on a brave face. Sometimes tried to tell HV etc but always just linked to lack of sleep. I cried when the baby did, tried to sing to him just to stop me crying as much. Found it hard to cope but just assumed it was me being a bad parent. DH found it hard too.

Second baby I felt very guilty with as I couldn't give enough attention to as I already had a toddler. Took longer to bond. Close relative of DH nearly died when baby was one week old which meant no time for me and new baby. Sounds so selfish to write that down! Then we moved house. So external stresses as well as kids.

Now I feel very angry. I shout too much and have a failing relationship with DH. I am exhausted and miserable. I feel like the family would be better off without me. When I read about Post Natal Depression I feel like shouting "that is me!" but I have no one to tell. I once tried to tell the GP but wasn't brave enough. I find talking about things hard.

Can I get better? I don't want to feel like this forever.

CarrotsAndApples Tue 30-Jul-13 23:03:22

Thanks, will do. It was some of the side effects comments i has seen on MN - but I will try to think about the positives instead.

HoopHopes Wed 31-Jul-13 14:53:03

Try to remember all medications come with long lists of side effects, like antibiotics etc but rarely do people have them or they last.

I found sertraline helpful.

Also as counselling can be painful etc so can medication for a few days but it does not stop people doing it etc. that is how I try to think of it. it can really help to be on medication before doing counselling etc so not so low so get most from it, as it is time limited so want to benefit from it as much as possible.

katieAashley Wed 31-Jul-13 16:25:12

Also remember, AD have a acculimative effective and will take at least few weeks for you to feel the full benefits, all the best wink

valiumredhead Wed 31-Jul-13 16:52:49

Also worth noting that sometimes you can very few side effects that don't actually last. I had leg aches /cramps with seroxat but they went after a few days and I felt much much better x

CarrotsAndApples Wed 31-Jul-13 19:09:17

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I feel less alone hearing from other people who have been through this already. I can't express my gratitude enough.

Overall I felt better this morning, but I felt very jittery and shaky this afternoon - not on the ADs yet, think it was "coming down" after being a bit "high" with adrenalin after seeing the doctor yesterday.

Going to try to get another batch of courage ready to tell DH tomorrow. I am sure he will be supportive - just that he really hates his job and is quite down himself. Feel bad that I will be adding to his worries.

valiumredhead Thu 01-Aug-13 13:34:16

Hi OP, how's things today?smile

Catnap26 Thu 01-Aug-13 13:46:26

Going through pnd at the moment with second child,first child is only 53 weeks older than second.feeling very guilty about spending time with either of them.very tearful today.all I can say is once i told people how I felt I started to get a lot more help especially from gp and hv there needs to be more support for pnd though x

valiumredhead Thu 01-Aug-13 13:52:20

I think there's support but we are in danger of feeling that we have to be super women and don't seek it out.

CarrotsAndApples Thu 01-Aug-13 17:09:19

Hi Valium, doing better today, thanks. Took younger DC swimming with a friend which was fun. Feeling like house - tidying, shopping, cooking - is on top of me today.

Hi Catnap - sorry you are going through PND - glad you are getting more support. I think it is very hard to ask for help - I just feel like a bad mother when things are going wrong - and don't feel worthy of help, even though it might be there. Good luck - two little ones close together in age is challenging at the best of times. When they are older I am sure they will be great friends!

valiumredhead Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:43

I'm 12 years on from severe pnd and looking back I had such ridiculous expectations of myself as a mother.

Swimming sounds funsmile

valiumredhead Fri 02-Aug-13 14:30:07

Hi, just checking insmile

CarrotsAndApples Sat 03-Aug-13 20:15:13

Hi, thanks Valium, busy at home with kids yesterday, bit shouty and stressed. Need to try to talk to DH - it is on my mind and bothering me that I haven't had the chance to talk to him honestly. Hard to find time as the kids are bad sleepers. Hope it goes ok.
Hope you have a good weekend Valium.

valiumredhead Sat 03-Aug-13 20:27:39


Tbh, you don't have to bare all with the first conversation, it could be as simple as 'I've been struggling a bit recently but I've seen the doctor and he's suggested I take some meds' and leave it at that for a bit until he asks some more questions. It's hard finding the right fine for a 'big chat' but it doesn't have to be that x

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