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roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!(988 Posts)
Hi all. I'm feeling a bit down at the moment - incredibly grumpy/weepy, feeling like I've no friends and that I'm a rubbish mum/wife. I suspect it's a result of two things - recovering from a (mild) dose of viral meningitis, and stopping my SSRIs because I felt better and that I could manage without them (yeah, I know, what kind of idiot am I). Gah. I'm back on the sertraline but I know it will take a week to kick in.
colouring, I know how you feel in those social situations. I do fine in small groups or one-to-one, but feel like a right spare part in anything bigger. It doesn't help that I'm a bit geeky and don't really like talking "girl stuff".
LEM, re the Heath Robinson float, you tried to help but it sounds like it was beyond help. No reason for you to feel guilty.
Oo Lem you did your best, it was just the situation. You were kind to this woman and acted well towards her, you never know, I remember needing help and not being able to ask for it, pride, stupidity so glad everything is going so well for you
Same for Vicar, felt quite emotional reading that post. Yeah, there's hope. Good days and bad days.
Hope the day centre was ok for you lovely ((( Snowy)))
Oh, Ciq, I find social things agonizing. But you went, you chatted, it's all part of the process of getting better.
By the way Ed I always, always chuck my dirty knickers on the floor. DH picks them up and puts them in the wash. Years of training
Went with Dh today to get tysabri, which is his super duper MS drug. Didn't sleep much and feel crummy today..On autopilot.
Love to Silverysooth welcome to Fishandjam Hurray for the old gits!
Lots of love to everyone reading, hope the day is going ok for you
Oh, F&J, poor you. It's not surprising you feel a bit bad. Just be kind to yourself, some days are just like this, and it takes time.
I had the same with sertraline, but it's working now, all the best to you
Hi fish and jam sorry to hear you're feeling so low, sympathies. Hopefully the sertraline kicks in soon. Vital meningitis doesn't sound like fun at the best of times. Take care. Thanks for your comments re my evening out. Yep I'm not mad on talking girlie stuff either! Spent lot of childhood with dad and 2 brothers and do struggle with groups of women.
Hi hoochy thanks. Am out again tonight but with people I don't know which strangely I find easier? ! Glad to hear your dh is on good meds and hope you get a rest today.
Not a good day but hey, the days before were good.
Love to all.
The day hospital was awful verging on unbearable, I really don't want to go back (but the response I get is 'you don't want to end up in hospital, do you?)
I am supposed to be there Thursday and Friday
Oh really sorry to hear that snowy
Was it anything in particular that made it so bad or just the whole thing?
Braving another night out with some older mums from church... hopefully better than last night x
I hope tonight goes better, CIQ
I can't concentrate for the groups, normally I'd listen to music as a distraction from the voices, but I can't do that there.
im holding up i think. Work is very testing. Not the work - as usual the people. its clear that 'queen bee' at work hates me and the only other woman on the shift is following like a sheep....im made to feel uncomfortable at every opportunity. The guys just shuffle uncomfortably....
today i did my own thing - i ate alone again but that was fine, i had a job involving an asylum seeker, i felt desperately sorry for her, and when asked back at the station i tried to explain my actions (i chose to help her rather than arrest her....she had a child with her and it was perfectly justified) and i tried to comfort her as she cried and called an interpreter to try to explain what i was doing,
all i got back at the station was sarky and nasty remarks about her situation.
i gave up trying to explain. Queen bee is loud, louche, sweary and crass. she holds court and everyone laughs.
even though she is totally not funny....
my job is changing daily. its so hard now, crime figures down my arse!!....today we had no cars to go to some jobs. We have nothing to work with, we are stretched to the limits, yet still we strive and strive to do right by the public. i want to carry on in the job i think but this climate is making it impossibly hard. And now the prospect of redundancy looms - and if we should get a pasting while doing the job we can be dismissed if we cant carry out normal duties for 6 months. its a joke really - we are regularly put at intolerable risk
anyway. enough of my rant.
im learning when to shut up and preserve my sanity.
my boiler has gone on the blink again....but ive chilled tonight with a book, wine and the ratties....they make me laugh, they are so cheeky.
good night all.
lem hope you had a better day.
snowy best of luck with the day hospital....you will be ok.
love to everyone else.
Vicar - i am smiling because i have visions of that horrible woman at your work reading the daily mail!!!!
Busy day for me today - DDs party on the beach i have NOTHING ready, going away tomorrow and yep - nothing ready
My wheelchair has been repaired now, nice to have a day at home. Party on a beach sounds great fun LEM ! Good luck with all your organisations. Work sounds challenging, vicar
Hi to everyone else., how are things?
Hope the kids had fun lem and you're not too lanced. How long are you off for tomorrow? Have a lovely time.
Hi snowy good to hear about wheelchair. Hope you've found things a bit cooler today too.
Today's been ok, busy morning running errands and adminy stuff. Mum and dad over for lunch and pm which was ok (usu just my dad as mum is hard work she seemed better for two weeks in the sun). Dcs broke up lunchtime and I am knackered after having them for the afternoon - hope I survive the hols
how is everyone today....?
ive got 2 more days to work until annual leave! yay!
been talking to Dh about fostering tonight.....we are gong to start to look into it.
Wow thats brilliant vicar.
Hmm today - first day of school hols... woken up feeling v tired and lethargic and daunted by hols. Its been a busy week and yest I had dm and df over from 12 which was nice but a lot of socialising. Have just made plans with a friend to meet later for kids to play, so just need to last out 3 hrs.
I'm feeling a bit better, though sooooo TIRED. On the upside, my wonderful DH has booked some Fridays off over the summer so he can help manage the kids (I work Tues, Weds and Thurs). DS is 3.5 and being a bit of a handful - he's lovely, but very demanding/clingy/tantrummy and I find it utterly exhausting. DD is 13 months and pretty easygoing, but that means that when it's just me with them, she often gets ignored (I feel) as I have to spend so much time ministering to DS.
vicar your job sounds megastressful and I bet you're really looking forward to your annual leave. And the fostering sounds interesting - my step-BIL and his wife have been doing it for 12 months or so and I know they've found it incredibly rewarding.
LEM, how did the party go?
Snowy, glad to hear your wheelchair is now functional again, though I'm sorry to hear about the day hospital. I hope today is turning out a bit better.
Colouring, how old are your kids? I'm quite good at devising activities to keep older kids quiet, I just can't do it with my own as they're a bit too young for the things I think up!
Hello to hoochy too - yes, sertraline works a treat for me usually. I'm on a very low dose and it's amazing how well it picks me up. It's difficult to put a finger on why I get attacks of black dog (PND of course, and there are a few ishoos from childhood and my relationship with my mother (jeez, how archetypally Freudian!) but nothing particularly major) so my GP is convinced it's a brain chemistry thing. Which does seem to be borne out by the ADs - so long as I take them, I can cope with most of whatever life chucks at me. I really need to learn from past experience and not stop them!
Yes, F&J I was on them three years ago and stopped after 6 months, three months ago I went back on them, this time the side effects were worse, but I feel ok on them now. Grateful for the medication really. Gosh, it's crummy to have to take meds, but the alternative is worse. I had other issues too, I think a lot of us have. You sound like you are sooo busy too with dc's and job. Do look after yourself.
Feel a bit angsty, Pembrokeshire offered me a job interview and I had to turn it down after much discussion with dh I come from wales and would so love to go back. But I have to be realistic about my health and situation and try to get part time work here. Trouble is I feel so rubbish I'm convinced no one would want to employ me Moan, moan.
Hope the party was good, Lem
Hang on in there Ciq pace yourself, and build in lots of rest and treats to keep you going
Love to you snowy, hang on in there, girl, it will get better the more you go.
Lots of love to everyone I've forgotten
Won't be around for a few days, I am taking mine and church teenagers to Soul survivor, give me strength!
Good luck hoochy at Soul Survivor. I bet they'll have a fab time. Shame about the Pembrokeshire job, but brilliant that you had an offer. It's only a matter of time before you get one nearer to home.
Fishandjam great to hear you're feeling a little better and your DH has booked some time off too Mine are 5 and 8...
Thanks both for your support. Today turned out better than my negative fortune-telling brain predicated fortunately and sun stayed out too which helped. Met up with friend and so kids were off playing 12-5 which was fab! I can do this if the days are like today!
Love to everyone x
just a quicik check in - hope everyone is ok.
i found out tonight that 2 colleagues are throwing parties - im not invited to either.
its fine - i wouldnt be going anyway. (too far geographically plus have been before and felt like a fish out of water!) but still - a snub is a snub. ive resisted any temptation to ask about these "dos" and only have one more shift until my leave.
then i have a stay in hospital
then im back for a short while until i have my spa break with dd.
im ok about it. but i do wonder what is wrong with me.....
vicar to be snubbed by these people sounds like a mark of recommendation to me, it means you are OK not one of them
I agree Vicar you don't want to be a member of their 'club'. Still, it hurts you and I'm ...
You have loads of good things happening right now, you are in a good place
Day hosp is awful. I've been thinking of all of you.
Oh sorry to hear that snowy do you get the weekend off?
Yes, I said no thank you to the crisis team, so I do.
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