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Depressed husband can't cope with new pregnancy

(4 Posts)
prodigaldaughter Wed 03-Jul-13 19:14:31

My husband has had depression for about two years now and is on a fairly heavy dose of prozac. At the end of May he suddenly stopped taking them and slide back very rapidly into feeling very down, bordering on suicidal. He started taking them again about 10 days ago. On sunday we found out that I'm pregnant. It's a complete accident and we were using protection.

We already have two children with health issues and he keeps saying that it can't be done, he can't cope with everything else and a new baby and that getting through each day is hard enough as it is.

I feel like I'm stretched pretty thin as it is but I don't know if I could go through with a termination. He's said that he will try and support me if we continue but he doesn't know how much he could do and that he just feels torn.

To be honest I'm terrified that if we do continue it will tip him over the edge and he'll do himself some serious harm. On the flipside, I'm scared that if we don't continue I'll never get over it and that will finish us.

Branleuse Wed 03-Jul-13 19:18:21

i think you need to look into why youre so worried about the after effects of a termination.

Most people who have a termination are fine with their decision. I think you need to look into whats best for your existing family

TVTonight Thu 04-Jul-13 08:31:30

Will the Prozac have properly started to work yet?

Is your husband getting help with the root causes of his depression?

If you knew that your husband would choose to be alone rather than in a family of three children, what would you choose wrt the pregnancy?

He is rather setting you up with this (potential ) 3rd Child to be the cause of all future problems.

Sounds hard.

janesnowdon1 Thu 04-Jul-13 09:55:31

Is your GP nice? - could you go and talk with them and get them to refer you for some counselling/help? You are under incredible pressure and having someone neutral to discuss things with can really help clarify things that are hard to sort out in your own mind.

I would say you should put your own needs and feelings first, you are the lynchpin of the family. If your GP is no help then please phone MIND. It is hard being the support for someone with long term depression - I found the depression fallout site and books by Anne Sheffield helpful in making me realise the damage my partner's depression was also having on me and how I could help myself and also my family.

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