i dont want to feel so messed up and confused, i dont want to be that person relying on pills to keep me from loosing it. i hate depression, anxiety what ever the hell is wrong.
im here for my kids, that it. i dont want to hurt them but im hurting so bad. i cant think straight, every day is a blur.
sometimes i smile and laugh. sometimes im jumping around with so much energy, other days i cant but have to move and get stuff done.
ive just came home from a place i have to go each week to help me look at going back to work, I heard volunteer in a social enviornment, bus, go here, group there... i fogged over i couldnt hear her, my heart was going fast, i felt giddy and my head went funny. my eyes welled up but didnt want to cry.
now im home with racing thoughts, how will i cope, i cant remember most of the things she said, said i have to get out, do social things to get over social anxiety. if it was so easy! ...
mentioned something about an organisation called mind - some one coming with me, then, this person that organisation!
im so scared, i just want to be 'ok' and not have to be surrounded by health people to make me better it just reminds me of not being well.
im terrifide of having to see the psychiatrist - felt relieved at 1st but now i dont. just want to run away.
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Mental health
dont want to do this any more but its so hard
26 replies
mouses · 26/06/2013 16:10
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