PND, dreading going back to work...

[nervousmum]

I was diagnosed with mild PND about a month ago, and i am so far avoiding going on AD's. Yesterday night i nearly had a nervous breakdown when talking to DP about going back to work from the 10th June. I'm a nurse and have to go back to shift work (2 nights and an early per week). Not working is not an option as i have huge debts to pay, courtesy of my ex-husband, but the thought of going back is torturing me, and i don't feel like i'm being a 'proper' mum to my 8 month old DS whilst i'm so stressed about it. I don't even know why i'm so stressed! I was in floods of tears last night about it, even contemplating declaring myself bankrupt so the debts would go away (even though realistically it's not an option). The thought of having to leave my little boy is tearing me up inside. Both my mum and DP's mum had the luxury of being SAHM's, and all i get is sarky comments about 'trying to juggle it all', when it's really not what i want to do!!!Sorry, i just needed to get it off my chest. DP is a brilliant listener, but that's as far as it goes, and i'm just feeling really unsupported at the moment.

[Jackstini]

Nervousmum - sure there are lots of mums in your positino that will be coming along with advice.
I had no choice about going back to work as I am breadwinner and dh is going part time. Went back to work last week and my dd is only 8 weeks old. It is really hard at first but she is fine. I make sure I have as much time with her as possible when I am home and I certainly don't love her any less - I know I am providing for her.
Someone on another post mentioned a rattle you can get from Boots where you record your voice. You can then leave that with your ds and he can still hear your voice when you are on shift.
Probably worth booking another appointment with the doc before you go back. If you use ADs for a short time to help you with the transition so be it.
Good luck

[Jackstini]

bump for you

[nervousmum]

Thanks. I've gone out and bought some SJW to try while i wait to see my GP. I just hope i feel better soon.