I had an abortion nearly 3 weeks ago and I feel awful about it. I feel so much regret I don't know how I can get past it.
Night time and early morning is the worst, I just lie in bed and can't stop crying. I keep thinking about my baby and wishing I was still pregnant. I feel sick thinking about what I've done and I have that kind of hollow sick feeling in my chest like I've made a terrible mistake. I can't believe I actually did it. I spent weeks on the decision and for the first while I could hardly even contemplate abortion as a serious option. I felt so panicky and upset even thinking about it. Then when I decided to do it I think I just made myself zone out about it and it didn't even feel real so the reality of what I did didn't hit me until days later.
I feel like I ignored my emotions and gut feeling to just go with the decision that was "right" based on logical reasons, and I know they were good reasons, but emotionally it feels so hard. I know it wouldn't have been emotionally easy at all either if I had kept my baby because we would have been struggling and it would have really hurt to see my child growing up like that, so maybe how I'm feeling now is still the better option, but I keep thinking what if...
I feel guilty and sick and exhausted and ashamed of myself, and I feel so jealous of people I see with babies. I feel like I desperately want to go back and change my decision but its pointless even thinking that.
I know it's all my own fault but it just hurts a lot.
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Mental health
Regretting abortion
156 replies
Namechanger012345 · 07/06/2013 01:22
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kotinka ·
07/06/2013 01:39
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kotinka ·
10/06/2013 15:42
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