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Anxiety...please talk to me about coping strategies.

(3 Posts)
TheYoniWayIsUp Mon 27-May-13 23:35:09

Right, this may be sketchy as I don't want anyone in RL to spot it.

I have some 'issues' with my mother. She has displayed behaviour bordering on emotional abuse all my life. As a child she was overbearing and critical. As an adult she's controlling and manipulative.

It has all come to a bit of a head over the last few months as I've had other issues and have found that she has, as usual, added to my problems rather than supporting me. We had a bit of a melt down and I've been kind of 'managing her' since.

I have to add here that she's not completely awful. She loves me and my kids, and genuinely thinks she's helping. Lots of her issues are down to her own upbringing. I don't 'hate her', I just find her very hard work.

Now to the current problem...she has a holiday cottage. As it's half term DH and I have taken the week off with the kids. It's the last one we'll get in about 6 months due to DH's work situation. We are absolutely skint, and my mother offered the use of this cottage. Now I don't much like being 'beholdden' to her in the current situation, but as we have no cash at all it's the only holiday the children will get, so I accepted gratefully.

This morning she announced that she is coming too. sad
I am gutted. She really stresses me out. We can't not go, the children know and are expecting a week by the sea.
There's no way I can ask her not to go, our relationship is so fragile at the moment and I don't have the strength to deal with any fall out. Besides the fact that it would be spectacularly rude of me to ask her not to use her own cottage.

So, it's happening. My nerves are shot at the thought of it. We've lost out on a break we desperately need and there's not a thing I can do about it.

exoticfruits Tue 28-May-13 06:43:47

Is DH no help in controlling her?
How old are the DCs?
Do you trust her on her own with the DCs?
Is she good at practical things like the cooking?

Sorry- just need more information before advice.

MrsDoomsPatterson Tue 28-May-13 06:52:39

At such short notice I suggest a bottle of Kalms tablets. They take the edge off. Arrange to go out, lots.

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