I don't know where to start really, I guess from the beginning..
I will start off saying, I would never harm myself or my unborn there are just many thoughts going through my head at the minute....
I am 4months preg with DC2... I have DC1 to a previous relationship and know this story oh so well I feel so vulnerable. And let down. My boyfriend of 1.5 years has left me.
We found out I was pregnant and he asked me to get an abortion, I refused, I had one last year and have never gotten over it, he decided to stay with me. He now wants the baby but I think he felt trapped... We are 22. We have been on the rocks for a couple of months arguing alot, I fly off the handle very easily and get worked up over STUPID things... Although they obviously wernt stupid at the time... He moans at me for stopping him going out with friends and going off on holiday, why would anyone who's preg want they're partner going of on holiday?
I love him more than anything in this world and feel so alone and vulnerable, my first child's father left me very early on in my child's life which I found so hard I have issues with being alone and I'm so scared of it, it's so hard. I have became so dependant on my now ex boyfriend that I feel as if my legs have fell off. He left yesterday and refused to speak to me, he stayed at his mums last night and when I did speak to him he said he's not been happy for a while, if I wasn't pregnant he wouldn't have stayed this long and he just wants to be on his own but be there for when the child is born. I have suffered PND with my last and feel I have fallen back in to that again.
I have no job and soon to be two kids, on my own, at 22. My family are great but they can never imagine what I'm going through, last night I bled a little and was so scared this was making me lose the baby, however that has subsided and when I spoke with him last night he thought I'd made it up to speak to him... I can't believe he would say that. Although now I am feeling very desperate.
I want him back. And I want him to want me and the baby, I just don't know how to do ot, I have said I will speak to GP I do clearly need some form of counselling although speaking to a professional scares me.... He said its too late. He told me his parents are not happy with his decision and I don't know weather I should contact his mum. More people have been through worse but he doesn't see that... God my heads everywhere, I feel dispare, loneliness, depression,
I just need words of advice, what I should do, some sort of help. I just can't see how I can come back from this... I just want to speak to him to his face...
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Mental health
Suicidal an pregnant
13 replies
Cakeisyummy · 14/05/2013 08:11
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