I developed anorexia when I was about 11 years old and spent most of my early teens either extremely underweight (85 lbs at 5"5) or at the most very skinny. After some therapy I managed to get up to a healthier weight of 9 stone which I maintained until college. There, the restricting cycle started again and I lost a rapid amount of weight and ended up in hospital (although this was more to do with my mental health rather than my actual weight at the time).
Anyway, a few years later I began to severely binge eat. I'm talking up to 20 000 calories at a time. I gained around 50 lbs in about 9 months and I am still gaining today. It is so distressing watching your body change so rapidly. I'm now plastered in stretch marks and I'm fairly sure that the binging is having some quite serious health side effects. There's a high possibility that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome but am waiting for results.
I feel so terribly down about myself. I have anxiety issues and find it very difficult to get out of the house at the moment. This anxiety seems somewhat linked to my weight gain and poor body image. I keep telling myself that if I lose weight I'll be able to deal with everything better but I don't think this is entirely true and is a part of the old anorexia mind set. I feel lost and overwhelmed and truly disgusted with myself yet I can't seem to stop.
Does anyone have any experience with eating disorders and depression? I have tried therapy in the past (the stuff provided by the NHS was fairly useless but was fortunate enough to have family which paid for private. Unsure if this is a possibility now though).
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Mental health
Excessive weight gain following anorexia?
4 replies
giraffacake · 08/05/2013 01:29
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