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Mother and baby unit??

(306 Posts)
martha2013 Sat 04-May-13 19:19:25

Does anyone have any experience of such places? I'm 39+3 weeks pregnant with my very much planned and wanted second child. I have a diagnosis of bipolar and due to risks to baby have recently stopped my anti-psychotic. My psychiatrist thinks my mood is becoming high. I disagree. She is talking about mother and baby hospital after birth. I'm terrified and thinking of doing a runner!

lougle Thu 13-Jun-13 21:01:42

Well done for taking that step, Martha, it can't have been easy.

Do you feel that either of the options will help you?

SnowyMouse Thu 13-Jun-13 21:04:55

There should be someone on duty from the team(s) looking after you, even if the people who know you aren't there.

martha2013 Thu 13-Jun-13 21:12:54

The nearest unit is over 2 hours away which is just not an option. My son and husband would not cope, nor I with the guilt. But I would rather chose to go than be forced.

I have been well on meds but also unwell whilst on them so putting aside all my fears about transmission through bf and the sedative effects, I have little trust they will work.

I know I need to do something. I can barely cope with having my baby out of my sight which is exhausting.

dontrunwithscissors Thu 13-Jun-13 21:32:27

I was a similar distance away. They will cope because it will be much easier on them knowing you are safe, than trying to manage the situation themselves.

lougle Thu 13-Jun-13 21:47:53

Martha, you may find that helping you will be helping your whole family. You are trying to keep it all together to protect them but what they need most of all is for you to be safe.

martha2013 Fri 14-Jun-13 05:26:51

Think the physical effect of no sleep might kill me first

lougle Fri 14-Jun-13 07:27:29

Why don't you agree to try the unit just for a few days, on condition that you can leave if you want to?

working9while5 Fri 14-Jun-13 07:33:28

Hey Martha, I'm so glad that you have asked for some rl help but it's so hard when you take this step and it doesn't seem to make the difference. You are in such a dark place and it is just so incredibly difficult to have to bear.. but I'm going to be the broken record here and say it will pass if you can just hold on. I also couldn't cope with having either of my babies out of my sight so I remember that and I never had the additional difficulty of being bipolar, I only have OCD. You have been doing a great job to just be holding it together even if by the tiniest of threads until now.

I really sympathise with your feelings about the unit. I know I was horrified when it was suggested for me and my nearest one is four miles away so very different state of affairs in terms of saying no because I still could go to groups on the ward etc and access the support that way.

I guess I'd say in terms of the guilt, I've done a lot of work this year on realising that self-care HAS to come first... that if you can't give to yourself you can't give to anyone else and it's so crucial as a mother. This has been a hard won realisation and took a lot of therapy but just remember half of the guilt is just our society insisting women should always come last in every family situation. You can't.

I am thinking of you lots and sending you the famous Unmumsnetty hugs x

Unfortunatelyanxious Fri 14-Jun-13 17:15:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

martha2013 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:36:00

Having the crisis team involved this weekend. Gutted it has come to this.

lougle Fri 14-Jun-13 21:24:21

Martha, it's just a name, don't worry too much about what they're called. They are there to help you. That's all.

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 21:34:43

IMO,it's easier to conceptualise it as home treatment team
the aim is intensive treatment at home,in community
in order to minimise need for admission

SnapCackleFlop Fri 14-Jun-13 22:54:24

Martha, really hope things will improve soon. I'm glad that you're getting some help though can appreciate how difficult it all must be.

Thinking of you. x

martha2013 Sat 15-Jun-13 03:09:33

Thank you.

The crisis team have seen me in some pretty horrific states over the past ten years but never see me well. I suppose I worry that they will be judging the fact I have had a baby. Truth is she has been planned and wanted and loved for such a long time and I am so sorry and sad that so far I have not been able to enjoy her. Feel like such a failure.

lougle Sat 15-Jun-13 08:14:47

They won't judge you for having a baby any more than they would judge someone whose diabetes was really well controlled for years and then pregnancy threw out out of control. You can't stop living because you happen to have an illness, otherwise what is the point of living?

Be proud that you have accepted help for you and her. The enjoyment will come later.

scottishmummy Sat 15-Jun-13 11:15:44

team have a role to support and work with you,they'll not judge.
they want same as you.a happy outcome
you know what this isn't forever,it's a difficult time which with support will pass

MiniPenguinMaker Sat 15-Jun-13 13:52:49

I think you're being utterly strong and wonderful by knowing when to ask for help. ANYONE looking at your situation from the outside will see a mum who is trying to do the very best thing for her children - who you obviously love and care for very much.

I do hope the extra support helps.

martha2013 Mon 17-Jun-13 08:39:49

Had a horrible night. Kept thinking something awful was going to happen. Have had to ask hubby to sort out our eldest and take him to nursery. Feel like I really have come to the end of my resources. Going to try and sleep today but I'm scared.

SnapCackleFlop Mon 17-Jun-13 23:00:43

Martha, that horrible sense of foreboding is awful - I hope it isn't so bad now and that you managed to get some rest. I promise these horrible feelings aren't going to last forever.

Some of the other posters on this thread have shared really inspirational stuff. I hope that it will help you see that there is light and hope (I've learned and gained a lot myself from the other posts).

It's good that your dh took the older dc to nursery and I hope that you did get some sleep. Take care and keep posting if it helps. x

martha2013 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:19:23

Perinatal psychiatrist came to my home again today. She has informed social services of my situation. The bitch. I will not be trusting her with anything from now on. She threatened that if I didnt agree to meds today the decision about hospital would be taken out of my hands. I took her script but am I hell being threatened into taking her poison. My husband is on my side. I am trying so so hard to keep everything going. My house is immaculate, my children's needs are met in every possible way. They can all fuck off.

lougle Fri 21-Jun-13 21:47:17

Martha sad You sound like you are feeling very threatened by today's events.

martha2013 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:55:02

I'm just so gutted. I love my children dearly and will never hurt them. All my anxieties are because I'm worried about them and want to protect them. I can't believe they have involved social services and without telling me first. I have let them into my home everyday for the first five weeks of my precious daughters life. They have always said they have no concerns for the children. They are lying bastards and I will never trust them again.

scottishmummy Fri 21-Jun-13 22:03:14

try work with sw and mental health team for a good outcome understandably you're upset
the psychiatrist has a statutory responsibility to alert social services
i do wish you and your family the best and hope things begin to feel less imposing for you

lougle Fri 21-Jun-13 22:03:34

They can involve Social Services for support, Martha, without thinking that you would harm the children in any way.

Khalessi Fri 21-Jun-13 23:10:19

Hi Martha, how are you doing this eve? I have a 22 month old and have been taking quetiapine 300mg, whilst breast feeding. The advice line I phoned from bf'ing nretwork was that such a small amount goes into the milk that its not a problem.
My son is now a full on toddler up to mischief, reached all developmental milestones and he's healthy.
The quetiapine has kept me out of hospital and stabilised my mental health. I'm mega tired from it but not in that awful place like before.
I hope this is reassuring for you.

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