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I just need a vent, sorry.

(4 Posts)
Puddlelane Sat 04-May-13 18:28:24

So I'm not having a very well (mentally) day.
My doctor doesn't think anti depressants would work although said I could have them if I wanted- wtf?

So anyhow I function ok most of them outside I'm fine, hold it together am quite comfortable being mummy and we go about our daily routine fine.

DH keeps trying and I quote trying to make me snap our of it by saying IMO quite mean things!
I'm not fun anymore- apparently this is helpful? Because I should be able to see that I was fun so therefore as I was fun I can be fun again.
He also said he was happier at work than at home sad
Needless to say this isn't actually helping or snapping me out of anything. Probably just pushing me further under.

I have a nice enough life, I'm lucky I know that much but I can't be happy or fun. I'm too serious, but I have 3 small kids of course I'm bloody serious!
I can be fun for them, that's much easier.
I don't know what I want anyone to say tbh
I just want to be happy but I don't know how I rarely even bloody smile.
I'm anxious, stressed, worried, miserable.
I'm functioning fine though, it's just the inner turmoil. I don't even want to talk, heck I can't even bring myself to think about the things I'm anxious about.
I don't need an anti depressant to numb me or help me think more clearly. I just want to be happy not fake it just be smiling and not to feel like this anymore.
I need a maternal cuddle

Showtime Sat 04-May-13 21:32:14

Agreeing your DH's not being helpful, but isn't there anyone else you could spend some time with? Three tinies are lovely, but also a great deal of endless work, and everyone needs a short break occasionally.
Is there anything you could do to amuse yourself say once a week, to give you some me-time again?
Coffee with a friend really works, so would this be possible I wonder?

Puddlelane Sat 04-May-13 21:47:29

I'm really lucky I do have coffee with friends- mummy friends and tbh it's so manic with 3 about and being very honest there is no way I would tell anyone at all in RL how I'm feeling, I think it would drain me too much to off load everything.
My babies come first before everything, I don't think I could function if I overloaded.
sad I can't help myself I don't think.
Thanks so much for replying, nice to know I'm not alone

Puddlelane Sat 04-May-13 21:48:33

I have no me time, rarely, very rarely. Problem with me time and just time in general, I'm always on guard. Permanently.

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