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Reasons why I don't give a shit about dying.

(9 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Sat 04-May-13 00:06:02

I can't keep a man as I refuse to be a liar or a fake but yet so much depends on keeping said fucker of a man.
My boyfriend who I live very much has dumped me (For being a cunt ) therefore reinforcing this thing that I am defective.
It's been two weeks and I love him very much and i can't do this whole 'just pretend you don't give a fuck' because I'm not a liar.
I hate myself.
I am a rubbish mum.
I just don't want to be here any more.
I just feel like most people are awful.

superstarheartbreaker Sat 04-May-13 00:08:26

Whats the fucking point? I am just keeping a facade when deep down I am fucking broken.
Oh yes; even when I do get a nice boyfriend I am always worried that they are going to screw me over because of emotional trauma from first bf.

Due to trauma from first bf I can't get a decent relationship off the ground.

Piemother Sat 04-May-13 00:11:27

Why do you think you're a rubbish m?
Are your dc with you just now?

Sparklymommy Sat 04-May-13 20:23:18

Now make a flip list:

Reasons to live:

Your dc. Think how upset they would be if they didn't have you. Who would take care of them? You'd never see them grow up, married, having children.

Your relationship has broken up and your in a dark place. But in a few months time you'll realise that your ex isn't worth it. You are honest. Not a negative trait.

Please seek real help. Go and see your GP as soon as possible. Depression is such a hard illness to admit to but there is help available. Big hugs.

dogsandcats Sat 04-May-13 20:28:27

Crikey. Just realised you posted this last night.
If you do not feel much better, yes see a GP as a matter of urgency.
Hopefully you are not feeling as bad as you did last night.
Can you come back on here please?

LEMisdisappointed Sat 04-May-13 20:32:11

Please see a doctor, you clearly have some unresolved issues that mean you are living under a shadow - you can get help to exorcise these demons. Your GP will be the frist step, they will get you the help you need. Please keep posting or call the samaritans. How many children do you have honey?

whosiwhatsit Sat 04-May-13 21:16:39

Things look bad now but they don't always and will get better. Your dcs need you. Please get help and report back here on how you're doing! If you need medication for example just to get you through a rough patch there's no shame in that and it will make you feel like yourself again. Please talk to your gp and get some help.

superstarheartbreaker Sat 04-May-13 21:45:38

Hi all. I'm ok. I felt a bit suicidal on the way back from a barbq tonight but felt better after ranting at my dad and telling him to fuck off....oh dear that's not normal. Just spoke to him now and made up. I feel a bit narcasistic. Everyone tells me I am thinking about the break up too much. Well I still love the guy. I can't stop loving just coz were not together.

dogsandcats Sat 04-May-13 21:58:40

Thanks for coming back. Glad you are better than last night.
I would have thought it was normal to still feel gutted after 2 weeks.Dont be too hard on yourself, or others!

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