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Is this the medication or a complete meltdown?

(2 Posts)
MyBloominMarvellousYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 20:45:51

Ok I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I am taking quetiapine.

My dreams are so vivid it's like I'm there. My flash backs are so real that I feel I can almost touch what I'm thinking about.

I have had obsessional thoughts about my first relationship as a teenager (ten years ago) he broke my heart as he cheated and it took well over 12 months to get over him.

I now recognise that me taking it so badly and being so distraught was probably to do with the Bpd.

I haven't thought about him for years and there have been many relationships after him but Now I feel like I'm right back to square one. I can literally smell him, I can visualise things I'd forgotten. Jewellery he uses to wear, clothes he wore. What his hands felt like to hold.

It all sounds crazy, it's like I'm grieving for the relationship all over again. I cry when I'm alone. I can't stop thinking about him.

The diagnosis has raised questions and made me blame myself for him cheating as i was so controlling and jealous.

I just don't know why all of sudden I'm thinking about him. And it hurts!! It's brought everything back up.

I don't know what I expect from this post I just wanted to see if anyone can relate at all.

UnicornCentaur Mon 22-Apr-13 10:11:30

hi yoni

I also have bpd and have taken quetiapine in the past. I can definitely relate to the part about dreams because I've had that. It was particularly bad for me with mirtazipine, to the point that I couldn't separate what was dream and what was real.

im not sure about the obsessive thoughts but I'm sure someone else will be able to help.

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