Hi, have NCd for this as I just want to vent really, not sure what advice can be given. But maybe I'll feel better for writing it down?
I just feel so frickin down now, like in some unbreakable spiral. Some days I can manage but recently everything has just come to a head and my god, I just wonder what is the point really. Everything is a struggle. Married for a pathetic 6 months before she left me, the shit I have felt since which has resulted in me being put on Anti-Ds. Had to move back in temporarily with my constantly critical DF, only feel ok on the couple of days a week I see DD, if I manage to submit anything decent to uni in the next couple of weeks it will be a minor miracle seeing as all I spend my time doing atm is sitting, staring just lacking the motivation to move.
To be honest I should be working on an Extenuating Circumstances claim for my assignments, but my anxiety keeps getting the better of me and I daren't contact the relevant people to help me with that. And I know this is the vicious circle because my anxiety stops me doing things, and then I get down that I've allowed it to beat me which makes me feel worse.
Everything is just a struggle. And I find myself wondering what is the point? I feel embarrassed because everyday I just see people getting on with their lives but I can't cope. I just don't feel like I'm designed mentally to cope with life and right now I'm struggling to see why I should keep going if I'm just going to keep struggling and feeling awful. Why bother? I'm not benefiting anybody by trying, I just feel like a shit, whinging burden on anybody who knows me. I've started crying now writing this because that is just how I feel. I'm stressed out, and I just don't see a day when I'm going to beat these feelings and my depression. And I'm so tired of trying. Why is just being alive so hard?
thank you for reading anyway, I've no idea if this has helped me or not. At least it's anonymous
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Today is a down day. (It's long and pointless, I know)
6 replies
GoodbyeCourage · 18/04/2013 00:23
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.