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I think is PND,please help me

(6 Posts)
SpikeHairandFab Mon 15-Apr-13 10:57:10

Hello,
I don't really know where to start.
I am 36 with 3 children aged 13,3 and 7 months, married.

Since having my last baby I feel very low,unhappy,ugly,fat and I am very awful mother to all of my children.
When my DD was 2 weeks old I went to GP and she diagnosed me with PND,but I thought she was wrong,I was putting this down to baby blues,lack of sleep and very demanding baby. She prescribed me antidepressant ,but I have never take them.
Until last week it was sometimes good ,sometimes not,it always depend on how my DD was,when she was good,then I was o.k,when she wasn't then i was unhappy,moaning but generally I was coping,well kind of.

From last Monday I feel so angry all the time,I have always had bad temper but nowhere near as bad as it is now.

I cry almost all the time,and I am day dreaming about smashing and destroying stuff around me, whenever my DC cry or want something from me I feel very aggressive towards them.
I have never hit them ,but I don't know how much longer I can restrain myself.

I feel so empty,so disgusting ,sometimes when I am driving I want to crash into a tree,I think my family will be much better without me.

I have so much hate inside me,I hate pretty much everything and everyone.

I want my old life back,when I was working ,has many friends,my fit body,and my all happiness . I don't have anything from the above list now,all I have is my filthy house ,screaming children and nothing else.

I called my GP this morning,but they gave me app at Friday, I have no idea how I'm going to get through till Friday .

What do I do now??

ScrambledSmegs Mon 15-Apr-13 12:04:29

Oh Spike, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Yes it does sound like depression. As I'm neither an expert nor a medical professional I'm loathe to say for sure though.

You aren't an awful mother. Honestly, when I get so tired even my bones ache, I can think the most horrible dark thoughts about my kids, but I know it's the tiredness talking. This is even without PND. Your life will come back, it's rubbish now but you've done this before, you KNOW it gets better.

Is there no way you can get an appointment on the day at your GP? Embarrassingly, when I couldn't get one at my GP when I had PND with DD1, I actually went into the surgery and cried till they gave me an appointment blush. Maybe if you leave out the crying and just stress how much you really need to see a doctor, right now? Otherwise, is there a walk-in clinic nearby, or baby clinic with doctor/nurse attached in your area?

And for the time being, can you get out in the fresh air a bit today? With a bit of sunlight and exercise you may feel a little bit better about yourself. Remember to eat properly, it's amazing how skipping lunch would make my mood nose-dive with DD1.

You're doing brilliantly. It's tough with young children and babies, we all know this. And you have a teen too! (((((Hugs)))))

thanks brew thanks

ScrambledSmegs Mon 15-Apr-13 12:07:36

Oh, and I'm honestly not saying that exercise/eating etc will cure PND. I've had it, I know that's bollocks. But it can help a little bit.

I don't know if you still have the prescription somewhere, do you think you should give those AD's a try if you have them? I don't know if that's ok, maybe someone else on this board could say?

More (((((hugs))))). Fuck it, hugs are goooood grin

DeepPurple Mon 15-Apr-13 12:08:40

It does sound like pnd. Have you still got the tablets you were prescribed? You could start taking them now as they take time to work. Is there someone that could have the kids for a day so you could have a break?
Don't be do hard on yourself. Pnd is wretched. Remember that there isn't an overnight cure but things will get better.
Can you talk to someone in rl?

Queenmarigold Mon 15-Apr-13 20:56:17

Thank you for posting this; I feel exactly the same and thought I just couldn't handle the tiredness. Pm me if you want to chat x

ScrambledSmegs Tue 16-Apr-13 13:53:32

Are you ok, Spike?

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