Anxiety returning. did it ever go? and contmination fears.

[alwaysworriedtoo]

I hav'nt posted for a long time as I have been trying to heal myself but Just took a dive when I realised I am still anxious over our soil. a few years ago when we were sorting our garden out we found what I later thought might be asbestos roof pieces. I then worried that pieces of these might have broken down into the soil causing fibres to be present. My husband thinks that there is nothing to be concerned about (to be honest he is usually right about things) and over the years we have used the garden for growing crops and it has been heavily composted with our own compost. He has also worked hard getting it to look and function well. (I know he is going to be so naked with me if all the hard work he has done has to be dug up for testing.) This is one of those anxieties that keeps recurring every so often even though there is that realism that kicks in, 'who knows what is in any-ones soil?' and hubby is usually right! I have just written to our local environment agency.to see what they say. I realised that it still bothered me because I went to the bottom of our garden and felt the anxiety building. My main fear is that after we had cleared some of the garden we swept up in the dry weather and d.d 2/3 at the time helped too. Could she have breathed something up? I did go to doctors a while after first realising this and he didn't seem concered with any real risk being present (other fammily members and a few other people didn't think there was anything to be worried about)thoug he did find out we could have a lung biopsy done that would be invasive and may not be conclusive. I thought this was too risky to do really and when dd had phnumomia when she was four she had an xray on her lungs and they never noticed anything apart from what was expected with pneumonia. Shes 8 now and I know that anything from asbestos can be latent for 15 to 40 years. so when she is 17/18 do I get her to have a biopsy done? . As hubby thinks its unfounded and I wonder if I wasn't a nut head I would have not even realised this or not thought or worried about it as well. Would ignorance be better than a tiny bit of think I know something?
I'm a bit trembly and so have had some rescue remedy. I just had to write, thanks for reading, and yes I know I should probably get some help now. I think it's time.

[alwaysworriedtoo]

Still feeling scared tried distraction dh thinks I've nothing to worry about. Might try gin and tonic. Grr panicks are sodding awful. boo

[alwaysworriedtoo]

This morning still have the 'wobbles' that on edge uneasy feeling.

[alwaysworriedtoo]

Yes I agree. I just need to get up the courage to go to g.p or similar the thought of doing even that makes me feel teary and anxious. MUST DO IT!!! (I also just realise that I wrote hubby will be naked with me- I meant narked!)