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postnatal depression lost all confidence in my own instincts

(3 Posts)
surprise11871 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:48:52

Hi this is my first post on here so please bare with me. i have a beautiful little boy who is 14 weeks old and since his birth my partner and i have not been getting on. Anyway throughout all that i was always confident in my ability to look after my son im the one who has done everything from day 1 even when he was on paternity leave. Since his birth he has just had cold after cold, 9 days old we took a trip to a+ e as he wasn't breathing right luckily his oxygen levels were remaining ok and by morning had steadily picked up and stayed at 94% so we were sent home. Since then i struggle to get my lo to feed much. I realise other families have had worse happen to them and i do understand that incomparison this isnt bad. However i have managed to get on wiv things and have never worried bout nipping in the shower while was in other room next to me or getting on with daily tasks but our heating system doesn't work properly it goes off when the room is about 18 and drops really low before kicking in now i have become scared to leave the living room and leave my son in there wiv the door open for fear of him getting too cold and then i worry if i.put an extra layer on him that when it gets warmer n heating kicks in he'll be too hot. I have to look at a gro egg to see what the temperature in living room is and its driving me crazy. This started about 2 weeks ago. I don't no what to do i have lost my ability, confidence and instincts and while i no its irrational focusing on a number n heating like this i can't stop it. The thought of bringing my son home fills me with dread. I have been to gp an d have tablets but i just don't think it will help as it won't fix the heating.

Sorry for such a long post and if you got this far i am eternally grateful. I suppose im not sure what im after just some advice about how to help me overcome my worries about the temperature in the house n how to dress my son and get myself pulled together as i hate feeling like this thank you in advance

Hoophopes Sat 13-Apr-13 08:52:10

Hi. Having little babies makes you worry. I am learning that having a baby you are constantly thinking about them. Babies will cry and tell you if they are not happy!

Why not talk to your health visitor for reassurance and support, that is what I found helpful. She guested baby groups to meet other mums so I felt less isolated. Sure start centres can do great free classes, like baby massage that can help.

Your HIV can help you with your worries. If the problem is heating then tablets no help at all, if you are anxious they can help. If there is a real problem with heating then you need a heating engineer. I bought an oil filled radiator, plug it in and set thermostat at 18 degrees and if temperature in room drops below that then it comes on. These babies, lack of sleep and being with them all day makes us worry so much, that is normal.

Why not phone HV on Monday and make appointment to chat and ask for help?

Hoophopes Sat 13-Apr-13 08:54:29

Oh my baby was in hospital with very high temperature and illness, so that is my alert now!! They are very quick to pop babies in hospital just to check them, as they get older I learnt they do not spur them in hospital so quickly, his last high temp we took hima and they said it was normal. Learning what is normal takes time I find!!

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