I was diagnosed with bipolar at the beginning of Feb after being ill for over a year with two bouts of psychosis and subsequent depression.
In January, I thought I was feeling better and had loads of energy etc but of course it turned out I was manic and I didn't recognise it because it hasn't happened before.
I am feeling pretty stable since I changed to Quetiapine 8 weeks ago and today we are back into our routine as schools go back after the holidays. Normally, I would drop kids off and then come home and fritter away the day online or have a sleep, but today I have done a weekly shop (something that has been really stressful since I got ill) without too much stress and I have cooked the tea for tonight and am about to busy myself around the house.
I would love to believe that this is because I am feeling better, but can't help worrying that it's the beginning of going manic.
This is so shit, I can't even have a good day without wondering if it's this bloody illness rearing it's head again.
Its all in the thoughts for eg I get hyposexual so I start to think about affairs. I start getting angry over the slightest thing. I start being recklace with money. Start to want tattoos im allergic to them.
I ignore increases in energy unless its accompanied by any of the above I also watch my sleep if it starts to drop below 8 hours im in earlier mania.
What did you do on your last episode in the way of recklace behaviour?
I was full of energy and stayed up late and got up early. I walked ds1 to school instead of driving (it's 1.5 miles uphill through a muddy wood and I had 3yo ds2 on my back). I spoke my mind more than usual and ruffled a few feathers. I tidied the house from top to bottom and spent a lot of time playing with the kids as I had much more patience with them. So, nothing really reckless, but all a bit out of character for me recently.
It lasted about a week and then dh said something, I don't remember what, that really pissed me off. I got really angry and then I crashed into a deep depression with suicidal thoughts. I had a routine psychiatrist appointment and he changed my meds and he got the Intensive Home Treatment team involved.
Its difficult then when I go up I go really really up and it lasts at least 3 months. The earlier signs are when recklace things seem less recklace.
What about your clothing I usually wear trackies but when up I slowly wear less clothes till im out in a strap top and short skirt in winter. Music my tastes change when Im up to faster songs. Also I have a stronger stomach for watching gory things. Did you do any of these?
I can understand how hard it is my behaviour is so extremily different from normal me its easy to tell. But in your case its quite hard. You say you were only up a week why? Did it come to a natural end or were you medicated to bring it to an end? I ask because if you were medicated and are type 1 I believe? Then your episode probably hadnt hit its hight in which case if you are going manic you will probably develop more symtoms and be able to stop it.
Sometimes, those closest to you, can sense more than yourself if you are getting manic, certainly if they know you well. My DP and ex DH have both asked me this week if I'm manic, so I suppose I might well be. See how you are for the rest of the week - if you start feeling capable of anything, laughing and sniping more, no desire to sleep, you may well be. Unfortunately, bipolar meds don't stop mania or depression but they do dampen the moods some what.
Crawling, it only lasted a week and then the depression appeared really quickly. I had a couple of days of mixed mania and depression which were bloody awful. I was on rispiridone and lofepramine when my mood went high.
I don't have any weird thoughts at the moment, so perhaps I am just having a good day.
DiamondDoris, yes I would hope that DH would notice, although in the past, I have been psychotic before he's noticed by which time I have lost insight and insist that there's nothing wrong.
It sounds like you switched early mania that has happened to me and the other way round too ive switched in a depression to mania. If you are going manic watch out for the things I mentioned and if you start experiencing any of them or any weird thoughts call someone like your cpn. Keep an eye on yourself for a week and see if you gradually start cleaning more, feeling more energetic.
If its you getting back to normal it should Plato and maybe even decrease a little(when you have been Down and return to normal you can be a bit bouncier for a few days. So basically watch and see if each day you clean more. Write down how much you arr doing and how you feel, any thoughts. then do it again once a week if you start doing more then speak to your cpn.