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Why do I obsess? How can I stop and just be content?

(16 Posts)
Xroads Thu 04-Apr-13 07:41:28

I do the same cycle over and over, I don't know how long it has been going on for, over 10yrs at least so all of my adult life.

I rack my brains thinking of what I want to achieve in my life next, then I make lists/ plans, i research, I over think and my catch phrase is "it will be better when or I'll be happier when........

I then go hell for leather to achieve what I have set out to do/ get (examples of this were having dd2, moving house, owning a bigger car to expand my business, getting married, loosing weight) some people would say I am driven/ ambitious and that's a good thing I think BUT I am obsessive and can't switch off and torture myself until I get what I want.

The problem is even when I get what I want I hardly enjoy it for 5 mins before the cycle starts all over again.

I'm taking sertraline (for OCD and PMT/ anxiety) and having counselling to try and help myself but I wondered if there is anyone out there who understands why I am like this and what else I can do to try and be content with my life.

monkeysbignuts Thu 04-Apr-13 07:47:51

It sounds to me like you need something to focus your energy and attention on?
Do you have a hobby? Are you good at baking or painting etc?

I tend to ruminate about things. Even when years have passed by stuff still stresses me out. It's not as bad now I'm on prozac.

Numberlock Thu 04-Apr-13 07:49:43

Is it CBT you're having OP?

Xroads Thu 04-Apr-13 07:54:30

Not CBT, funny you should ask about painting monkey, my (new obsessional dream) is to become a muralist/ events florist as I am very creative but with life the way it currently is I don't have as much time as I would like to run with building it up into a profitable business.......

Numberlock Thu 04-Apr-13 07:59:21

I suggest CBT as it will help you switch off.

Xroads Thu 04-Apr-13 08:00:49

I know CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy but I don't know what it actually entails or how I could go about getting CBT?

WishIdbeenatigermum Thu 04-Apr-13 08:12:30

Not an expert here, but can you try bring 'present' if you feel you're racing away, anchor yourself on what's going on where you currently are. I sometimes find myself spinning mentally and will stop and do one thing. One task, one phone call, 5 mins of sudoku.
From what you say, the obsessiveness sounds almost 'existential' and on top of the techniques to anchor yourself you could investigate a 'meaning for life'. Faith? 7 habits of highly effective people (sounds like a book about paperwork!) addresses what you're talking about- how you can't be happy if you're investing all your energies in one or the wrong place.

NotAnotherPackedLunch Thu 04-Apr-13 08:34:35

Would you be able to do a trial where you avoid watching, listening to or reading as many adverts as possible?

If you prerecord all the tv you watch and skip through the adbreaks and try to ditch magazines for a month you might have a bit more headspace to find what really is important to you.

The basic function of adverts are to make you dissatisfied with your lot so you feel the need to spend money on new products. Stepping away from the continuous drip drip drip of these messages which are designed to undermine your satisfaction with everything might give you a better insight into what is really important to you.

Xroads Thu 04-Apr-13 08:44:07

I don't tend to watch tv very much but if I do I always skip adverts grin but I do watch things like the apprentice, cooking/ baking type shows, grand designs, alex polizzi etc

I will try the bringing myself back to the present if I can. I won't do faith, I practically lived at church for the first 13yrs of my life and it just isn't my cup of tea. I do think there is something in karma/ positive thinking and visualisation etc though.

the 7 habits of effective people sounds good though, where do I get that?

monkeysbignuts Thu 04-Apr-13 09:49:20

I would have thought dbt is better for obsessive thoughts than cbt?
It might be worth mentioning it to your gp?
Try and make some time for fun stuff like art etc. It's great for diverting attention.

Xroads Thu 04-Apr-13 15:38:02

Thanks monkeys, I am seeing the GP on saturday so I will discuss dbt (what is that by the way?)

I do make as much time for art and floristry as I can it's just I'm in a bit of a catch 22 at the moment.

monkeysbignuts Thu 04-Apr-13 17:10:08

DBT is dialectical behavioural therapy. It works very well for people with ocd. It's normally done as group threapy and you sort of challenge each other's way of thinking/mind set. Sort of seeing things from different perspectives.
Good luck with it all and I hope it helps

Xroads Fri 05-Apr-13 07:48:55

Thanks I will speak to my GP about it.

ZolaBuddleia Fri 05-Apr-13 07:52:20

I don't have anything to contribute form a medical perspective, but I do this too. I always feel like I'm living for the future, and it's so tiring.

Xroads Fri 05-Apr-13 21:11:23

Good to know I'm not alone Zola, yes it is so very very tiring, I said yesterday if I could be sedated for a while it would be good to wake up and not feel drained before the days begun.

I'm going to the GP tomorrow, hopefully I can get some valium or something wink only slightly joking

Xroads Fri 05-Apr-13 21:12:25

I like this song when I'm feeling it's all getting a bit much, maybe it would help you too? Marina

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