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bil has pscizophrenia

(20 Posts)
chocoholic05 Tue 02-Apr-13 10:00:10

dh family has has problems with him for many years. He's been sectioned in the past now he lives in the community. my inlaws have had numerous problems with hom over the years drugs and alcohol violence aggression you name it. He has a social worker and a team of people based at a centre he could live in if he wanted but he won't. Anyway my pil recently changed their mobile numbers and he doesn't know their new numbers. Npw because of the latest problems they are going to change their landlines number too. And leave the number with his key workers. This concerns me for a few reasons. Firstly all the problems and aggression which they have been on the receiving end of will be transferred to us. Secondly they are denying him family support and contact. my sister in law also did this as did his auntie and uncle. If they do too qw will be the only family contact he has leftsad sad wwyd?

Crawling Tue 02-Apr-13 10:20:46

One of the sadest things about scizophrenia is that family abandon a very very ill person. It is very common for the poor people suffering scizophrenia to have no one sad I have scizoaffective which means I have scizophrenic episodes and episodes of Bipolar 1. I have two friends with full scizophrenia and they have been abandon by all their family and outside of a mind support group have no one. I also have a uncle with full blown scizophrenia.

Its understandable that he doesnt want to spend his whole life living in care and please please dont abandon him as well I realise its not fair that you are now his only support network but think how hard it must be for him to be abandoned by his own mum for something thats not his fault.

You say he displays aggressive and violent behaviour, well as I get pychotic I understand this and I am able to visit the three I know while fully pychotic without any aggression or violence.

The reason for this is because I know what sets them off a few generic tips are avoid eye contact it feels threatening. Always try to position yourself lower than the person if they are sitting lie down. Try to apper relaxed as it is less frightening dont let any fear show. Dont touch him no matter what give him double the amount of space as normal but dont appear like you are shrinking away so stay relaxed about it. If he comes into your space dont back away or shrink.

Dont try and force him to get help just listen then call his cpn when you leave. If he is seeing things dont pretend you can see them and dont tell him he is seeing or hearing things instead say I know you can see/hear them.

If you speak to him when normal you can find out what generally his pychosis consists off. One of my friends thinks Barry manilow is trying to control her now she got very violent when ill and another user kept trying to put Barry manilow on.

I got aggressive because both my mum and my partner suggested at seperate times that maybe I needed a break and should go stay at my uncles. This made me think they wanted me out of the way and I became violent with my partner the second to suggest it feeling they were talking about me.

So speak to him and find out what his pychosis is so you can avoid it. Look into his illness if you understand it it is absolutly possible to see him and have a very low risk of violent behaviour. I hth if you have any other questions please ask me.

poppypebble Fri 05-Apr-13 18:53:20

Second everything Crawling said.

My brother has schizophrenia, I'd never abandon him like this. It makes me sad that some families don't seem to understand that Mental Illness is an illness - you wouldn't abandon a diabetic would you?

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 21:58:55

I spoke to bil on the phone today he has rung a couple of times and was sounding so much better. smile apparently he hadn't been taking his medication so that is why he had the latest episode! He was like a different person! However dh rang his parents tonight and they know about this and they are still going to change their number tomorrow its all arranged! shock

poppypebble Fri 05-Apr-13 22:15:45

That is awful, chocoholic. Friends and family of people with schizophrenia do go through the mill, but to give up on the person is beyond my understanding.

FWIW, my brother has been very well for years now - he has fortnightly injections of medication, so the non-compliance is much less of an issue. If he did miss an injection, the MH team would know immediately and be able to act before he got too poorly again.

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 22:21:00

if he asks for their new number what do I say? my mum thinks i should change my number toosad

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 22:23:02

good to hear your brothers so well btwsmile

poppypebble Fri 05-Apr-13 22:30:44

I don't know chocoholic - I think you have to let your DH handle that one.

My brother was awful to us all - my mum cried herself to sleep for weeks. But he was her baby boy and she never gave up on him and eventually he came back. I dread him being very ill again, but we would cope.

Do you have contact with his care team? They might have advice on how to handle this issue. I think non-compliance with meds is the major issue with managing schizophrenia, so they should have something in place to tackle this too.

lockets Fri 05-Apr-13 22:32:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 22:49:04

Tbh i don't allow my bil to have any contact with our dc since ds2 was just over one about six years ago and he has never seen ds2. It was because a particular bad episode on Christmas Day at my inlaws to be precise. Dh has seen him but myself and the dc haven't though I have spoken to him on the phone many times. He doesn't know our address either

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 22:51:55

meant since ds1 was one

poppypebble Fri 05-Apr-13 22:54:22

My brother has his own children and is no danger to them.

I honestly think someone needs to be advocating for your brother with his MH team - who goes with him to see his psychiatrist? It sounds like his condition could be managed much better.

chocoholic05 Fri 05-Apr-13 22:56:56

my pil go to the meetings and will continue to do so. They will give their number to his key workers and they are in regular contact with the mh team.

poppypebble Fri 05-Apr-13 23:01:24

Could they ask about depot injections if he isn't compliant with taking his meds?

Link here

Crawling Sat 06-Apr-13 07:37:25

Thought I would say I have never felt paranoia direct at a child there seems to be a part of my brain that refuses it. Both me and my uncle react the same way sometimes we can be paranoid someone is going to hurt the dc. I wont let them out of my sight but it tends to keep me calm I dont shout or act out in front of them as even when fully pychotic they are my world. They dont notice anything.

My uncle doesnt get protective but he has never hurt them.

If you wanted to visit could you phone him first asertain his mood and then decide. You dont just suddenly switch to full blown pychotic it takes weeks to build up and he wont be able to hide it on the phone so you will know his mindstate.

Crawling Sat 06-Apr-13 07:46:04

Have you asked why he stopped his meds?

My uncle is on the injection but I take tablets as I have a phobia of meds.

I stopped taking them recently because of weight gain. I also stop taking them when I am unwell as I believe they are poisoning me because they are trying to hide the truth. Want to control me.

Ask why he stopped if its side effects can your dh attend his next appointment and explain how much trouble he is having with side effects and can his meds be changed please.

Crawling Sat 06-Apr-13 07:47:36

I agree with poppy pebble does he have a cpn if you dh cant attend appointments. Cpns are very good at things like that.

chocoholic05 Sat 06-Apr-13 08:19:32

I could mention the injections to my pil. We don't tend to have anything to do with the mh team. My pil deal with them.

Crawling Sat 06-Apr-13 08:35:41

It really depends on why he stopped if he stopped because of side effects then he wont take the injection and it will make side effects worse. If this is the ase he needs to switch meds.

if he stopped because of being ill injection will help. It also depends what meds he is on as to whether it is possible.

Crawling Sat 06-Apr-13 08:47:08

Also I would speak to him about this he has a right to make his own decisions and he wont like everyone going behaind his back. Speak to him he needs to talk about his illness.

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