made the mistake of googling recovery from major depression and now panicking - can you reassure me?

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi, I've been severely depressed since the middle of January. I think I was actually mildly/moderately depressed and anxious on and off for a lot of last year. Combination of growing up with a mother with chronic depression plus lots of big stuff happening last year - redundacy, DP severely depressed, youngest DC starting school and finally beginning Jan DD broke her leg v badly.

I've just read that major depression following long period of mild/moderate depression is harder to recover from completely, and relapses are more likely, and permanent memory damage is more common. So now I'm really trying not to freak out. I do feel this could be a long road, but this stuff is really worrying me.

Can anyone reassure me at all/give me some positive recovery stories? And yes I am going to really try and not google anything like this again Btw I'm on fluoxetine & trazodone and starting counselling...

Thank you x

[Snazzynewyear]

Never google something like this without taking extreme caution over what you read. 'More likely' and 'more common' outcomes will have all sorts of variables affecting them and there is no way of knowing where you would be on that scale. It could well be that memory damage is 'more common' for people who have XYZ other conditions/factors that you don't have, for instance. And what's a 'long period' of moderate depression? You have talked about a year in your case, but that could easily mean 3-5 years, for instance.

It is very likely (see, I'm doing it now ) that the stuff you read too will be slanted towards the negative and far less will be written about all the people who recovered well as they will have left it behind and not be writing about it / present for others to write about it online. I can't offer a recovery story myself but I bet others will be able to.

[MillyMollyMandy78]

I agree with Snazzy - you should exercise caution when reading these sort of things. Other than that, I don't really know what to say, as I do share some of your concerns, but just wanted to offer my support.
Sure someone will share their story of recovery soon xx

[montage]

You're swaying the statistics in your favour by combining therapy and antidepressants. Best of luck with the counselling and remember that if you don't "click" with the counsellor that you're perfectly within your rights to seek another one - any counsellor worth their salt would understand that. You need to feel comfortable and able to explore very personal things.

And yes, skip the googling!

[nenevomito]

Oh heck, skip the googling please!

You're doing the right thing by taking the anti-depressants and going to counselling and there's no reason at all why you should have memory loss of anything else.

I am sure you'll be fine. Honest.

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit today. Struggling to get the stuff I read out of my head, but I did 'fess up to my Doc today and said I thought I'd had mild depression/anxiety last year and was worried about likelihood of recovery. She said it was still possible, might just take a bit longer. So am trying to keep that in my head instead. Phew, such fun! x

[nenevomito]

Good to hear that your GP was able to reassure you. Yes, fun isn't it. I'm sure you'll recover too :)

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks baby am feeling better today, Sunday nights brain storm has calmed to a gentle breeze...
cheerio x

[narmada]

Don't forget that one of the cruellest things about depression is that it makes you uber-worried about everything.

I can give you hope - ten years of on/off mild to moderate depression , developed into severe PND after birth of DC2. Was completely recovered 9 months after DCs birth. Will probably be on anti-ds for the foreseeable but so what? I am well again.

The major thing in your favour, apart from the fact you are getting treatment, is that there are clear situational reasons for the worsening of your depression - not least your DH's own major depression.

Glad you are feeling better these last few days.

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks so much narmada it's really helpful to hear your recovery story - and I'm so pleased for you. You're v right about the uber-worried thing... am trying to pace myself a bit more this week and have a nap after lunch which seems to help a bit! All the best x

[Startail]

When you were typing your OP, I was on the phone to a very DF, she found herself in a very dark place with sever depression, she came out the other side.

She took a few hours voluntary work, then retrained, found a part time job and best of all found the courage to TTC. She'd wanted to for a long time, but thought it wouldn't be fair when she couldn't cope with her own life much of the time. Her beautiful DS was born the week before her 43 birthday. I don't thing there will ever be a time when she doesn't have bad days, some caused, ironically, by losing benefits as she gets better, but hopefully they will be few and far between.

All the best, take it one tiny step at a time you can do it.

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks startail its lovely to hear your friend's story and I really appreciate your encouragement. At one point last year I did ponder about doing some voluntary work to give me a bit more of a sense of purpose, and possibly ease the way into another paid job. Small steps x