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Feel like a fraud- one person at home and another in public

(3 Posts)
fiorentina Thu 28-Feb-13 21:29:32

I feel very much the same. I have a high pressure job where a lot of people ask me how I remain calm and manage my team though stressful periods without getting stressed or worried.

At home I'm a bitch though, getting upset, finding it hard to cope, argumentative and snappy and I'm finding it really challenging to adapt my behaviour. My DH is fed up with me. I don't know what to do to resolve this either.

mumtoaandj Wed 27-Feb-13 14:34:03

i am exactly the same- laughing, happy go lucky but at home i am miserable, deeply insecure and not fun. I too suffer with clinical depression and have had it for 18 years, unfortunately this last bout has knocked the other now being fun and happy outside is even hard..i seem to have crumbled on all fronts.I too feel that i cant be happy, don't deserve to be happy and maybe if i am happy something bad might happen.

Bumblequeen Wed 27-Feb-13 08:45:46

I have suffered with depression for well over 20 years. This was not helped by continuous bullying in secondary school.

I have learnt to 'manage' my depression and apart from immediate family and two close friends, nobody knows.

My life is one big facade. Outside the home I laugh alot and am happy go lucky, in the home I act like a mad woman- slamming doors, screaming, crying.

At work/other professional environments I appear assertive and in control. Many have said that 'nothing phases me'. If only they knew!

Dh has told me to 'sort myself out'. He feels I have 'depression' as I 'choose' to be sad and therefore have accepted it as part of my life.

I feel ashamed that I am this person who cannot control my emotions and who is ultra sensitive. I admit to being a very miserable person. Part of me feels I do not deserve to be happy.

How do you act in different environments?

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