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Anti-natal depression or just pregnant? (warning - long OP)

(3 Posts)
RememberingMyPFEs Mon 11-Feb-13 20:59:32

I'm feeling really down and overwhelmed. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy so far (15+6 today) and DH is super supportive. I do a very long commute (5 hrs a day) and am tired but I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed at the moment.

By way of context: I'm 39 yo and relatively recently had a change of heart re kids. Been on the fence for a few years but in 20s was dead set against. I'm really happy about this PG and am excited and terrified in equal measure.

We moved house in September from one side of the country to the other and have yet to make friends locally - too busy running around and working hmm

Also, I had a v difficult relationship with DM who passed away a year ago this Sunday. DH is currently stateside with work, as he was a year ago and I'm really really wobbly.
I've had a few 'moments' of feeling overwhelmed and almost panicked over the past few weeks but been able to move past it. This morning on the way to work I couldn't get past a sense of foreboding and as soon as I got home tonight I just burst into tears. I'm scared.
I dunno if this is AND or just human anxiety triggered by all of the above - its been quite a ride in the last year shock

Maybe I just need a hand to hold...
(now I sound needy - sorry)
Anyone still here? Any words of wisdom?

grants1000 Mon 11-Feb-13 23:16:29

Here, hold my hand. Don't worry, all normal to feel overwhelmed just with being pregnant! Let alone, new place, sad date coming up, hubby away - that is A LOT. A definately not needy!

Taking one thing at a time, when you have your baby you will definately make friends, go to the ante natal groups, new mums NCT groups etc etc ask your midwife for details, go look in the local library for info about classes and meet ups. It's kind of like dating meeting new Mums, some you will love and be right up your street, others won't.

Having a baby makes everyone terrified! Talk to your midwife, they have heard it all before and will totally understand.

You have a big commute, can you cut that down at all? Work from home? Stay overnight nearby once or twice a week?

A year since you DM passed away, you say it was difficult and without knowing more, I am sure you are still grieving for the good times as well as the bad. Will you be with anyone on Sunday? Is your other half back? If not, go to the movies to take your mind of it for a bit. Or even write her a letter to get your feelings out on paper.

How about some pregnancy yoga locally? Don't laugh, it's bloody marvellous and you could meet pregnant women like you!

Breathe, you are not nuts, just pregnant with a lot of stuff going on recently.

RememberingMyPFEs Tue 12-Feb-13 07:45:04

Thank you Grants thanks
I am going to see DDad this weekend, will be lovely to see family and DH will be home when I get back again.
The pregnancy yoga is a great idea actually, I used to do a lot of yoga and have started some anti-natal yoga DVDs but classes would be great!
I wfh one day a week at the moment and might see about staying over one night as well as it is starting to take its toll. I'm starting mat leave at 34 weeks as I don't think I can face the commute after that!
Thanks again for your kind words - I'm feeling brighter for reading them and hopefully I'll be a little more gentle with myself this week!
Have a lovely day thanks

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