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(11 Posts)
kazzy77 Sat 02-Feb-13 09:41:34

Wonder if anyone can tell me how late can pnd set in. my ds is five months old but for the last couple of weeks i have been feeling really down and fed up!! i really hope its not pnd and i dont think it is but has anyone else felt like this? i feel really guilty because i should be enjoying my mat leave more with ds so that makes me upset. dont know if its just cause its the time of year or the fact that i have started a diet recently thats getting me down but some days i really cant be bothered!

mrs2cats Sat 02-Feb-13 09:57:27

Don't know. I had PND after my second and it kicked it almost immediately. It wasn't a 'I can't be bothered', it was a very dark, lonely place that felt impossible to get out of and everything was a complete and utter struggle.

Is this your first? Motherhood can feel quite relentless sometimes, especially with a baby. I know that after I had my first I found it quite hard and quite isolating to be at home with a baby doing the same stuff day after day after day. I was quite shocked because I thought I was ready to have a baby and I felt upset that I didn't appear to 'enjoy' my baby as much as I thought I would. I realised then that I needed to go back to work part-time.

It is a hard time of year as well. All the build up to Christmas has passed, everyone's counting pennies and it all seems quite flat.

All I can suggest is, if you have any concerns, talk to your health visitor or GP.

kazzy77 Sat 02-Feb-13 10:12:36

hi. thanks for your reply. yes he is my first and i think you just hit the nail on the head there with it being relentless and the same day in day out. i am also not gettin as much sleep which i think is making it worse.

i love being off work and if there was a choice to go back to work or stay off then i would definitly choose to stay off with my ds.

kazzy77 Sat 02-Feb-13 10:14:59

i also dont want the rest of my mat leave to be like this cause i know i will regret not appreciating it more when i finally do go back to work in july! wish i cud just pull myself together! sad

springbanana Sat 02-Feb-13 10:48:16

I don't know either. i thnk it is difficult to judge. At the moment I am not going out, not able to meet friends, kids won't get breakfirst if they won't get up so eary that my partner makes them one before going to work, making lunch is a struggle, kids watch telly too much, I don't play with them, hardly talk to them,. Anyway, I am not getting any real help and left my own devices. Luckily my moods change so I could be ok tomorrow. I think the reason is that I am an immigrant. It is very hard to demand any help, because you are being accused of destroyng NHS by newspapers.

But kazzy77, go to GP and tell how you feel. It seems you are not enjoying your life. Hopefully you are luckier than I smile

mrs2cats Sat 02-Feb-13 12:07:26

kazzy if you feel that you 'have to pull yourself together' and feel that you can't, it seems to me that you need to talk to someone. It might be that you just need someone else to talk to. Sometimes, friends, or even if we have a partner at home, they just don't understand. They listen but just don't 'get it'. What's there to be unhappy about? You have a beautiful baby etc etc. Don't worry hun, you're not alone. The expectation is that having a baby is a pure joy but it's not always the case for everyone and many of us find the life difficult. Are there baby groups that you go to? Just sometimes getting out of the house and meeting other people helps.

springbanana - poor you. You sound like you need help and you should go to your GP. Never mind the newspapers!

kazzy77 Sat 02-Feb-13 18:14:07

thank you for your posts. i will contact my gp next week. i have been so down today and tearful i just havent known what to do with myself.

i have been to baby groups though i really havent been enough tbh.

mrs2cats Sun 03-Feb-13 11:59:10

Dear kazzy
Have a big hug. Hope you feel better soon x

Mylittlepuds Sun 03-Feb-13 19:38:14

I think you'd know. I was totally floored almost immediately in a dark and desperate, very weird, place. I'd agree it could just be the normal rigours of motherhood!


MunchkinFace Mon 04-Feb-13 14:30:18

thankyou guys for your support x

FreelanceMama Tue 05-Feb-13 10:18:04

You asked about how long after having a baby PND can kick in? Mine started after 11 months - it was probably in the background at a low level but it was triggered, I think just after Christmas when my baby gave up breastfeeding. I treated it like a nursing strike but he just was not interested in breastfeeding and it's nearly been 40 days since then. I felt like I had lost my baby, I didn't know who this (lovely) little toddler was or how to have a relationship with him, or comfort him when he's upset, I still don't want to look at photos of him when he was a few months old, and found his first birthday really hard to deal with.

It may not be PND with you - the end of January is officially the most depressing time of year for lots of reasons, and if you're reaching a plateau of tiredness and tedium, and not seeing people, it can be grim. However, do keep an eye on it - if getting out and about and mixing with cheerful people isn't helping, you may be on the slide into PND.

I saw an excellent Health Visitor last week who, when I told her what was going on and that I thought I had PND, offered to come to our house and talk things over with me. She's a lactaction consultant so she also reassured me about breastfeeding and so on, and she's coming again this week. I think she's prepared to come every week until I'm better. I'm also seeing the GP again today (I saw her before and she advised me to go back to my HV and then come and see her again). I'm hoping not to have to go onto meds (having been on them before) but I also know that exercise is even prescribed by some GPs because of the positive effect it can have on PND.

Definitely go and see the GP though just to get the ball rolling. They may be able to help you get free counselling, or even free/reduced gym sessions, and then if things aren't getting better you'll have someone to go back to. And also try to find a good Health Visitor - tell them you think you have PND, it seems to be a magic password!

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