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Mental health

Depression -Depressed - Ideas for getting over this!

7 replies

OverlyYappyAlways · 28/01/2013 16:33

I have had depression for years, many years, but its been cope-able off and on.

I have PTSD are leaving abusive marriage, I have 2 lovely Dc, they do not see X as he is abusive and a drug addict, we moved house IN October, I was flying as high a kite! Getting us away from this man and the house we all lived in together.

Up every morning at 7am, Dc to school, dog walked, back home, here, college work, walk dog again, get dinner ready, clothes reading for boys to change, boys have counselling one a Tuesday one Thursday, then go to Dparents on a Friday, sometimes home on Saturday or Sunday depending upon what they want to do.

I'm just giving a back ground picture so I do not drip feed, I/we were all very happy to move, okay I cannot sleep in this house (no idea why) without medication but doctors just keep saying 'more councelling no pills can help you'

I am so very very very low it's hard, everything is difficult, dog not been walked for week sunless DC do it, still capable of making meals, laying out clothes, false smiles for Dc, but I feel terrible, I have tried and tried to pull myself out of this but cannot, I wake unhappy, I go to bed unhappy, see DC off to school and want to go back to bed, sadly I cannot sleep to just lie for a while, then feel guilty to attempt to tidy.

i have codependency issues ( this year) last year it was the opposite...and built up one date with an ex (from when I was 20 years younger) into I have no idea what...I don't even know if I like him but chased him anyway via a text saying 'lovely night, lets stay friends' and I didn't even mean it! I just didn't want to get hurt so thought best to finish anything before it started...

Now i cannot stop thinking about him (strange thing is I don't even know if I like him I think not but didn't give any one time to find out)

I am not looking after myself, lookswise, I don't care anymore, crying for no reason (other peoples problems), i won't say my life is problem free but I shouldn't be like this right now, everyone is telling me to 'pull yourself together' and I am trying... I walked the dog at the weekend, felt slightly happier but it was a 2 minutes walk.

I was so bad last week and I know this is awful,I didn't feed the dog for 2 days so I didn't have to walk her.

i don't know where I am going with this, I guess I am asking if anyone else has ever felt very low and been unable to pull themselves from it?

I am on anti-anxiety/depressants but they are not working, I am scared to change them as just now I get 5 or 6 hours sleep, even thought I am depressed as well just flat like this __ and cannot stop thinking about some ex who I suspect I do not even like! Confused

if you got this far then thanks - no idea if I will press the post button but that feels better seeing it all wrote out..

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amillionyears · 28/01/2013 19:59

Sad
I am no expert in any of this, but I would say the line "I am on anti-anxiety/depressants but they are not working..." is a crucial bit.

You need to go back to the GP. or see a different one in the surgery. if you are not happy with the current one.
If I were you, I would go to the GP sooner, rather than later.

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Catsdontcare · 28/01/2013 20:07

I'm sorry you are going through such a terrible. Maybe you should consider rehoming the dog? Two days without food IS really terrible. Not trying to make you feel worse than you already do I know most days must feel like wading through treacle.

I can only suggest going back to your gp. I really hope you can over come this I really do feel for you.

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CatchTheMoon · 28/01/2013 20:07

You sound so down. How long have you been on the anti-depressants? Either they haven't kicked in yet or you need a higher dose if they worked before, or you need to try another brand. They will help eventually. And once you feel more normal you will be clearer about what you want to do with your new freedom. Go back to your GP asap.

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OverlyYappyAlways · 28/01/2013 20:24

Thank you for your replies.

I think I may need to change GPs the one I am with not change my medication, they just say 'nothing can be done - it takes time you have to see your counseller' which I do every 2 weeks. I detest having the PTSD label but accept it as it describes my behaviour well.

I don't like that I have to accept the depression though. The no sleeping isn't great either but sadly sleeping pills are addictive so I only get them if I don't sleep for 4 weeks and phone every week begging for sleep and telling gps i am going insane again

I wasn't going to mention the dog but that shows me how serious it is, I really don't want to give her away, it would make me and my DC very very sad, she keeps us safe.

I know how bad it was not feeding her, I actually couldn't sleep last night as I built up not feeding her yesterday/saturday pm up into her dying (she does have dry food but I don't like to feed her just dry normally) so was up at 2.00am feeding her tinned food...then let her out back about 3.00am, she possibly thinks it's Christmas again as I have fed her 2 tins of wet food today.

Thank you for replying I will call my GP tomorrow and not a locum if I get nowhere I am telling them I am leaving, I have spoke to many others with PTSD and every person has told me to change GP as I am not being treated 'properly' whatever that it.

Thanks again for listening Smile I promise I do';t care how bad I feel tomorrow I will walk the dog. Small steps but I need to push myself more or something.

Thank you again

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OverlyYappyAlways · 28/01/2013 20:28

Sorry i have been on these anti-depressant for 6 weeks now, the reason I went back on them was because they somehow gave me the confidence to go get myself a good job and take a good look at life and remove the problem(s). Before them I was on another but couldn't sleep.

The ones before that gave me brain zaps (tingling in the head) and the ones before that made me faint if I moved too quickly and I slept 17 hour days, takes me back to prozac, which I could use but then I would never sleep and they make me speed up a lot and as you can see I type a lot and miss out words sometimes as my brain works so fast all the time!

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CatchTheMoon · 28/01/2013 20:49

I have had a variety of horrible reactions to ADs but am happy on what Im on now (citalopram) It is a bit trial and error. Persevere. See another doc. Yours sounds a bit odd to be honest!

You have done really well this far, not surprising the bad feelings are coming out now that you can relax a bit. They will pass...but hopefully the right prescription will help with that.

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OverlyYappyAlways · 28/01/2013 21:06

Thanks yes, they are a bit odd, it took the head of practice to diagnose me, now I have to endure delightful meetings with students... I wonder what they would say if I told them truth about how I felt about their treatment.

I have tried to explain I may need a psychiatrists (they can diagnose and prescribe) only to be told that the psychiatrist would send me to my psychologist...my psychologist has never treated anyone with PTSD and there is no magic pill.

I will phone them tomorrow and ask for head or practice again and tell him I need something that works.

I can deal with the stress thing, I just laugh a lot and pretend all is fine. I just wish I could shake the depression off.

Thanks again for listening/reading!

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