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How to help DM?

(2 Posts)
amillionyears Mon 28-Jan-13 23:46:48

Am a little confused by your post as to whether she is actually working.
I think she is?

From what I have read on MN before, if a person will not go to a GP, you are able to go and see her GP and talk to him about her?
Or is it, you go to your own GP and talk to him about your DM.
Sorry, forgotten which way round it is, hopefully someone else can answer that.

As regards, the hoarding.
You can google that.
There can be quite a few different reasons for that. Some you may not have thought of before.

cheerup Mon 28-Jan-13 15:57:44

DM moved to be closer to me and my family about 5 years ago and, as far as I can see, her MH has declined steadily ever since despite her getting a new job in the field she spent years training for (MH related). She has no friends locally (and only a couple of people at all that she maintains contact with) and, apart from work, has no day to day social contact apart from me. When I ask her what she's been up to she always says the same thing, sorting things out but not getting as much done as she would like, she's never been anywhere that wasn't a chore or done anything that could be described as fun and her interactions appear to have been negative with people out to get her or letting her down. Her flat is crammed with stuff, with the biggest living space being completely inaccessible. She's in her early sixties and it seems such a waste of what could be a lovely time of life with young grandchildren and the underlying physical ability to keep active and engaged with life. She admits that her Mh isn't great but has decided to stop taking her medication and gets very defensive about talking therapies. From my, non-depressed, point of view it seems like she has forgotten what it is like to be anything except miserable and convinced that she has no option but to remain that way. Unfair probably but I'm at my wits end, I can't bear just to watch her carry on like this. Can I help? If so, how without risking her stopping talking to me altogether? Or do I just have to wait? She is a lovely person, very generous and helps out alot with the kids, but it's always phrased as helping me, rather than because she gets pleasure from it. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for her help but would rather she was selfish and happy!

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