Disturbing Thoughts and Night Terrors

[tillyswall]

I am not sure if this exactly the right place to post but it seems the most appropriate topic. I need advice about my disturbing nocturnal thoughts. Thank you very much for reading.

Every night I turn off the light and close my eyes and I am hit with images in my head of my children dying horribly - falling out of windows, being hit by buses, getting tangled in blind cords. The thoughts are so vivid, my heart starts racing, I call out in distress. I hate it.

More often than not, I wake (or I wake up my husband) an hour or so later experiencing what I think is a night terror. Often I don't remember anything but I wake my husband screaming and struggling. Sometimes I get up and wake up very confused in the bathroom or something. When I do remember it is always a bad dream about my children dying and I am trying to save them.

I used to get these thoughts sporadically but the frequency has increased and now it is inevitable, every night. I used to get these thoughts of violent death about me but since I have become a mother it is always about my children.

The sleep walking, and especially the screaming, have been happening all my life. We used to laugh about my nocturnal screams when I shared a house at university. But they were a six monthly type thing, not virtually very night.

The thing is it is now every night and the images of violent death are really upsetting me. Is this something I should just expect to put up with or is there something I can do? Should I visit my GP? Is there something I can do for myself?

[Crawling]

It sounds a bit like anxiety I would see your gp as anti dependants will probably help with these negative thoughts. I used to sleep walk but now Im on sleeping tablets I don't have nightmares or anything. So he may prescribe sleeping tablets too.

[Crawling]

sorry anti depressants not dependants.

[tillyswall]

Thank you Crawling

I quite like the sound of anti dependants actually!

So you think a GP trip is ok? I suppose I think they'll tell me its just part of normal life or to stop thinking the thought but I can't control it.

I'm really calm and level headed when I am out of bed!

[Crawling]

I suffer anxiety and depression and its always worse in the night its actually quite common for anxiety to get worse at night the gp wont tell you to get on with it and just stop thinking it at least a good one shouldn't. I epathise negative thoughts are horrid.

[FloatyBeatie]

When I am on anti-depressants I sleep-scream much more than when I'm not on them! So you might want to check up on this possible side-effects of the medication before taking it.

I don't have distressing dreams that accompany the shouts/screams. They just seem to happen. But if I am erratic about taking the pills I do get very vivid dreams indeed.

I'm just pointing this our because if your problem is specifically a sleep-disturbance one (and you say that you are calm and ok in waking life?) it may be that anti-d's aren't the best avenue because of their weird sleep-effects.

[NanaNina]

There is a thread running entitled "should I go back to my GP" from Vicarinatutu - it's a long thread and Vicar has all sorts of problems (mental health wise) and she has a grown son with Aspergers Sydromes who has dreams and believes they are real. If you go to about P26 and look at Vicar's post she is explaining about this business of not beng able to tell fact from fantasy. Not sure if it will help.

I hate MN trying to diagnose online but I am wondering about OCD as I have heard MNs on here describing all kinds of symptoms with OCD. There was aMN on here who was suffering from PTSD (because of childhood trauma) and she was hugely anxious about harm coming to her son.

Sorry to sound vague, but maybe it's worth consulting Dr Google (which I know can make us far more anxious) but just to see if your symptoms fit into any of these illnesses. Mind health anxiety is very common and I'm sure a GP could prescribe an AD which should cope with anxiety as well.

[tillyswall]

Thank you so much everyone

I hesitate to mention this but I did have a stillborn baby 5 years ago so I think I do have some level of anxiety about harm coming to my children. I would say I was in control of this during the day but it seems out of control at night.

[tillyswall]

Also re the OCD suggestion I have also developed this habit over the past few years of pulling out a few specific hairs from my head. I am aware of Trichotillomania but have assumed this doesn't apply to my innocent little habit but I am starting to wonder. Maybe these impulse issues are all part of the same thing?

[chipmonkey]

tilly, as another bereaved Mum, I would say it's perfectly normal to feel terrified that something will happen to your other children. You lose that nonchalance that other parents can have. I worry that my ds4 will choke ( he's four so beyond the age where you would normally worry about choking.
I also think that at night, there are no distractions, so all these anxieties come to the forefront and it's much harder to ignore them.

[FloatyBeatie]

Do you think you have you had enough opportunities to talk about your bereavement, tillyswall? The suggestion of counselling always seems a glib one, and indeed it isn't always helpful. But if there is a pressure of sadness and anxiety related to your loss, that is coming out when you go to sleep, perhaps counselling might be of some help.

[tillyswall]

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. I'm so sorry to hear about your bereavement Chipmonkey, you are quite right about the loss of nonchalance.

I think I need to go to the doctors and hopefully get this resolved.

[dopamax]

having just posted saw this! I suffer the most awful and violent nights, sick videos in my head, explained this to many a dr but no help, only told its suppressed anger....fair enough. It makes me scared to go to sleep.
Many a night waking the kids up with my shouting out but drs dont/cant help.
I have sick dreams of abuse.....something thank god that has never happened to me but they are there every night, no let up, dont know where to turn.
Worth a visit to gp op if you have not tried the meds route yet as you never know, good luck and thinking of you.

[NanaNina]

I don't think GPs know a great deal about mental health to be honest, and they can diagnose the ordinary types of mental illness (depression/anxiety) and prescribe, but when it comes to something like night terrors I don't think they would know. Not certain a psychiatrist would be much better.

Is there any chance tillyswall and dopamax that you could get some therapy by someone properly qualified and experienced in these problems. Doubt if it would be available on NHS but you could ask. Otherwise it's private and they charge around £50 an hour dependent on where you live, and there's no guarantee that they are going to be able to help. IF you do decide to find a therapist privately you need to go on the BACP (British Association for counselling and therapy.) because they are properly qualified.

[dopamax]

thanks nananina have taken that on board to look into

[thorleyart]

Have you ever heard of something called EFT? emotional freedom technique?

Whatever fears, anxieties or emotions you are feeling may be helped by using this technique. I don't personally have experience with the specific problems you mention by I have used it successfully in the past for other emotional issues, and one of my friends cured his years long insomnia, and i've read / heard countless success's.

I would recommend doing a bit of research into it and just giving it a go over a few nights, couple of weeks and try and release the cause / source of these fears.

Try it and see what you think. The beauty of EFT is that they release the fears from the source, I personally think anti depressants only suppress and mask the fears, and cause many other side effects.

It might be helpful to deal with the issues surrounding your stillborn.

Here's some links.

www.cultureunplugged.com/play/8738/The-Tapping-Solution

www.tapping.com/

[NanaNina]

I'd be interested in looking at this thorleyart but can't click on your links.

[tillyswall]

Thanks Thorleyart that is really interesting I will take a look at this technique tonight.

I had another really bad night terror last night, I woke up grappling at the window and was very shaky. Again I was trying to rescue my daughter from, in my dream, falling out of a window.

I know the stillbirth is an obvious trauma but I guess this is my way of dealing with difficult emotions because I have been sleep walking and screaming at night before it happened.

[trayelroht]

NanaNina

Just copy and paste the links into the browser address bar!

[trayelroht]

I don't have any experience with night terrors. I know what they are though... Again I personally would research it from every angle and try whatever natural healing techniques were available. Taking powerful anti depressants IMO is a bad idea.

[GeneHuntsMistress]

Rushed as on tube and about to go underground again
You should see a neurologist, this is quite a common form of epilepsy
Pls get referral don't just assume mental health issue could well be neurological
Wishing you well sounds dreadful