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Waiting for the crisis team - support needed.

(1000 Posts)
Fluffydressinggown Mon 14-Jan-13 18:23:13

I have posted on the sertraline thread but wanted to post elsewhere.

I have been feeling increasingly unwell over the past few weeks and my self harm has increased. In the past week I have started to see signs from God that I should kill myself. I know that these are irrational thoughts but I am finding it hard not to believe them.

I saw my psychologist today and I was very upset because I feel so confused. I know what the signs are telling me but I am so scared. I don't know what the right thing to do is.

After I saw him I sat in my car for an hour outside the CMHT office, I couldn't move or do anything I just felt so stuck. The songs on the radio were giving me signs and I know that I have to hurt myself properly but I am so scared.

I went back inside and spoke to him again. He rang the crisis team and said that he had told them that while I am normally very high risk at the most they felt I was at a significant risk of harm that could only be managed in hospital.

They are coming out at 8pm to assess me for an admission.

I am so scared. I have been IP twice in the past six months. I feel like such a failure. I know I am seeing connections that aren't there, and my psychologist said that I am delusional but I can't shake it.

I am scared of an admission, scared of being at home and killing myself tonight. Scared. sad

I am not a bad person but all of these signs are showing me that I am.

Waferthinmint Tue 19-Feb-13 23:11:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vacuuming Wed 20-Feb-13 00:02:00

Oh Fluffy, I really really hope tomorrow is better for you. Was your DH able to get to the meeting at all?

bassetfeet Wed 20-Feb-13 00:30:05

Hi Fluffy , just sending good wishes to you and a cyber hug .

SnowyMouse Wed 20-Feb-13 13:12:41

Thinking of you, fluffy

SnowyMouse Wed 20-Feb-13 15:15:25

On the odd time I was on constants in hospital, the staff only sat and watched you, as you've described. I hope today is a better day, and you can start to pick apart the meeting for yourself.

coxspippin Wed 20-Feb-13 18:57:40

dear dear fluffy, you deserve much care and comfort- can your DH see you tomorrow (thursday)?

SnowyMouse Thu 21-Feb-13 12:26:38

Hello fluffy, how's it going today, do you have visitors later?

Pancakeflipper Thu 21-Feb-13 13:05:11

Hi Fluffy, how are you doing? Hoping you are ok and the staff are being supportive. Have you seen your CPN recently? Hope they are looking after you really well.

Take care and thinking of you.

Sunnywithshowers Thu 21-Feb-13 13:24:14

Hello Fluffy I hope you're okay today. Big hugs xxx

Fluffydressinggown Thu 21-Feb-13 13:27:35


Well the eating continues. Had a chicken (horse ;)) kebab last night with another patient. About to eat a prawn sandwich.

Rang DH in tears at 2am this morning, so very very sad.

Still in my PJs in bed see no point in doing anything.

SnowyMouse Thu 21-Feb-13 13:51:52

Are you on anti-depressants, fluffy?

TheSilveryPussycat Thu 21-Feb-13 14:45:15

Am glad you did something with a fellow patient smile All the times I was in (4) talking to other patients when I felt well enough to do so, really helped. We all help each other...

resistance Thu 21-Feb-13 16:53:09

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

leelteloo Fri 22-Feb-13 23:09:49

Hey fluffy, how's things tonight? I really hope you've had some visitors and that you are feeling a little more settled.

SnowyMouse Sat 23-Feb-13 13:42:52

I wonder if fluffy did get transferred to PICU, they might not allow internet access.

Thinking of you, fluffy

Sunnywithshowers Sat 23-Feb-13 13:45:01

Fluffy hope you're okay and being looked after. Big hugs xxx

Fluffydressinggown Sat 23-Feb-13 13:49:32

No I am here.

Just very low and nothing to say.

Watching TV and internetting and waiting for my friend to visit.

ohcluttergotme Sat 23-Feb-13 14:54:37

Fluffy been reading your thread & so sorry that you are going through such a horrible time.
I really hope you see brighter days soon and can get back to your life xx

Sunnywithshowers Sat 23-Feb-13 15:00:16

Hi Fluffy I hope you enjoy your visit, and that you stop feeling so low soon.
Big hugs to you lovely xxx

Pancakeflipper Sat 23-Feb-13 16:09:35

Hello Fluffy
Hope your visit from your friend makes you smile a little.
Has it been a rotten week for you?

My best friend from my school days came to visit me today. 4 hr round trip - so thought I better take her out for lunch! It's trying to snow again here. Flurries then stops.

Thinking of you Fluffy.

SnowyMouse Sat 23-Feb-13 16:10:01

I'm sorry you're so low fluffy

ohcluttergotme Sun 24-Feb-13 08:30:07

Morning fluffy, how're you feeling today? Hope you enjoyed your visit & had a good night & maybe feeling a bit better today. It's really snowing here this morning smile xx

Sunnywithshowers Sun 24-Feb-13 20:10:56

Hi Fluffy I hope you've had a good day today. Big squeezy hugs xxx

SnowyMouse Sun 24-Feb-13 21:08:50

Thinking of you, stick in there.

Follyfoot Sun 24-Feb-13 22:46:21

Oh Fluffy, I've been following your posts in this thread but havent posted before. Just wanted to say that I'm sorry things have been such a struggle for you. Your courage and determination shine through so much. As does the love between you and your DH.

I hope you are feeling a bit less sad today, and maybe even a bit more settled? Anyway, am thinking of you and sending you a gentle hug and some thanks xx

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