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Waiting for the crisis team - support needed.

(1000 Posts)
Fluffydressinggown Mon 14-Jan-13 18:23:13

I have posted on the sertraline thread but wanted to post elsewhere.

I have been feeling increasingly unwell over the past few weeks and my self harm has increased. In the past week I have started to see signs from God that I should kill myself. I know that these are irrational thoughts but I am finding it hard not to believe them.

I saw my psychologist today and I was very upset because I feel so confused. I know what the signs are telling me but I am so scared. I don't know what the right thing to do is.

After I saw him I sat in my car for an hour outside the CMHT office, I couldn't move or do anything I just felt so stuck. The songs on the radio were giving me signs and I know that I have to hurt myself properly but I am so scared.

I went back inside and spoke to him again. He rang the crisis team and said that he had told them that while I am normally very high risk at the most they felt I was at a significant risk of harm that could only be managed in hospital.

They are coming out at 8pm to assess me for an admission.

I am so scared. I have been IP twice in the past six months. I feel like such a failure. I know I am seeing connections that aren't there, and my psychologist said that I am delusional but I can't shake it.

I am scared of an admission, scared of being at home and killing myself tonight. Scared. sad

I am not a bad person but all of these signs are showing me that I am.

kizzie Fri 08-Feb-13 14:44:30

Hi Fluffy
Just another one thinking of you and wishing all the very best for you.

SnowyMouse Fri 08-Feb-13 17:08:21

Hi fluffy Hope you're having a reasonable day today.

Fluffydressinggown Fri 08-Feb-13 20:45:28


I was taken off my constants today at lunch time and I am still off them. They have found me twice trying to hang myself and my neck is pretty sore but I suppose they have to try.

I have also been started on an anti-psychotic.

Feel pretty tired, DH visited and I was just grumpy.

frustratedworkingmum Fri 08-Feb-13 20:53:08

Heres hoping the new meds help you to feel less desperate fluffy. xx

Sunnywithshowers Fri 08-Feb-13 21:14:56

Hi fluffy

I hope the meds start to work for you soon. I hope you sleep well tonight and have a better day tomorrow xxx

Pancakeflipper Fri 08-Feb-13 22:55:13

Hope the new meds do start to improve things for you Fluffy.
Sleep well.

TheSilveryPussycat Sat 09-Feb-13 00:06:32

hope you get a good night's sleep - the meds should help with that xx

leelteloo Sat 09-Feb-13 10:35:14

Hope the meds bring you a bit of peace Fluffy

SnowyMouse Sat 09-Feb-13 10:43:24

I hope the anti-psychotic works fluffy

SnowyMouse Sat 09-Feb-13 15:15:33

Hi fluffy. How are you doing, is the antipsychotic making you sleepy?

springpotatoe Sat 09-Feb-13 15:21:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Fluffydressinggown Sat 09-Feb-13 18:46:26

Jusy a quickie because I am on my phone. Tried a few more times and had to be cut down twice today so I am back on consrants fir now.

Sorry for bad spelling, I have a big lag on my phone.

Slept really well last night which was nice . Hopefilly the meds will kick on.

SnowyMouse Sat 09-Feb-13 18:48:59

Do take care fluffy, that's good about the sleep.

springpotatoe Sat 09-Feb-13 19:00:34

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

sj2008 Sat 09-Feb-13 19:46:15

Hey fluffy.

Glad you managed a good sleep, hopefully the new medication will allow your head a rest. I'm not sure why the pp is making deliberately unhelpful comments but it is a reflection of you not them so please ignore. There are lots of us thinking of you and hoping you start to feel better soon. X

sj2008 Sat 09-Feb-13 19:47:14

Sorry that was obviously meant to read a reflection of them not you!

Fluffydressinggown Sat 09-Feb-13 23:55:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSilveryPussycat Sat 09-Feb-13 23:59:33

oh fluffy [hug]

I know you have been brave in trying to do what you think you must, but could you be even braver and not do it and just wait and see what the meds do?

Sunnywithshowers Sun 10-Feb-13 01:11:08

Lovely Fluffy

I agree with what Silvery said. Could you spend a few days waiting for the meds to work, before doing anything?

Big, big hugs. xxx

vacuuming Sun 10-Feb-13 10:23:25

I feel the same Fluffy, please wait and see how the meds work out. Hope today is a little brighter for you.l

Fluffydressinggown Sun 10-Feb-13 16:40:40


Having a mixed day really. On constants so can't do anything which is frustrating because of how I feel.

I feel very scared and confused about everything. It is just so unbareable.

I just want it to be finished. I know what God is telling me.

Sunnywithshowers Sun 10-Feb-13 17:33:08

Lovely lady

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish today. Please don't do anything - give the meds time to work.

Do you have anything to do (colouring, reading) that will help take your mind off what you want to do?

Much love xxx

SnowyMouse Sun 10-Feb-13 18:19:12

Sorry you're feeling so rough fluffy Please, please give the meds some time. What do you think about a more secure unit?

vacuuming Sun 10-Feb-13 19:27:16

Have you played Words with Friends? Not sure how it works exactly but I think it is online scrabble with random people around the world! So sorry you are having a rubbish day. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter.

TheSilveryPussycat Mon 11-Feb-13 12:30:31

Hi *fluffy just sending good thoughts...

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