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Emetophobia- new thread as other was full, all welcome.(327 Posts)
Hope you all manage to find this , i just used up the last post on the other thread.
DH home. Had a glass of wine which is calming me.
mothering how is your ds? How old is he? Can he get to the toilet in time?
roindabout how's your dd?
Thinking of anyone going through this.
Hi Dancergirl. He's just two so not getting to toilet
He's just been awake heaving again. DTs are 4 so if they do catch it should be easier.
Feel awful because I can't be the mum I want when this happens. I've already seen how many emetophobes have emetophobic mums and its scary.
I really feel for you and completely understand what you are going through.
What I tell myself is this: I am 'comforting' mum at many, many other times - coughs, colds, flu, fallen over, bumped head, grazed knee, feeling sad etc. Your dc will remember this. It's only the v we can't deal with and for most dc, it doesn't happen that often.
my dd temp has gone down and she has eaten 2 breadatucks. Still stressed though!
My back story: I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is of a boy at a party Ving on my socks. I was three so I guess that's when it started.
My phobia has evolved, as others have, to being mainly noro/bug related. I can deal with V if I know it's not catching.
I have 3 DCs. Twins aged 4 and DS2 aged 2 (who is my current source of anxiety).
I want help. I feel like a shit mum and I'm so fed up with being hyper-vigilant in the playground or to the news (((
Help, I've had a few glasses of wine. Nothing more than usual. I feel unwell . I'm terrified .
You lot are amazing,I could never have children . I envy your strength.
Don't know if its the wine or something else. I occasionally drink a glass of wine too much but usually feel the effects the morning after, headache etc . Not the same night. That's why I'm worried its something else. :-( man I feel so alone
Just woken up, feel fine. Based on how ill I felt , I'd be expecting a hangover- but I didn't drink that much, so still confused as to why I felt so ill. :-/ did have a bit of red and white wine, so maybe was the mixing rather than the quantity.
mothering - hope your lo is doing better today & the other dc's are clear
tallulah - glad you are feeling better, perhaps dont mix next time!
bb - well done for sleeping with dd in your bed while poorly, well done you that is a huge achievement.
Well am still a bit stressed here, dh is working away at the mo, have cancelled relatives plans for coming over this weekend just in case. Dd still has a temp but not as high as yesterday. She is complaining of a headache & dizziness & achiness but not feeling sick . Am worried that dd2 will get it, if I want any sleep I end up in bed with her so dread her being sick in the night over me.
I'm so sorry you are going through this mothering.. You will get through it though.. Is there anyone else you can call to help?
Thanks newstart DH is here and DD is now sleeping. I'm just preparing myself for the worst. It's just so horrible. Thanks for being here.
Don't worry I'll try to be here while I can! Sure to be up a lot between my 3 dcs.. Ds1 isn't feeling well now either..
I've been watching this thread, even though I know (thanks to CBT) that I shouldn't!
I was in on the v long thread ages ago under the name NellyRaggBagg, btw.
I just wanted to share something with those who fear passing this horrible phobia on to children/feel they are bad mothers.
My DD is 8. Last week someone in DD's class v-d in the classroom and another girl, A, ran out of the classroom crying because she is severely emetophobic :-((
My DD (who couldn't be less phobic if she tried) told me about A being afraid. I took the opportunity to say that I was sorry for the girl who v-d - but that I would have done the same as A, as I feel just the same way as she does about it.
DD was intrigued, so I asked her if she had ever noticed that Daddy looks after her when she has tummy bugs (she had noticed). I said that it didn't mean that I don't love her to bits - it's just that I have a really irrational fear of v. I would like to try to do something about it, but I haven't been able to yet.
I then had a similar conversation with DS, who is unfortunately emetophobic.
It doesn't make the phobia any less bad, but telling the DC did make me feel better. DD took it completely in her stride and, curiously, telling her felt like a relief. I've spent the past however many years trying to ignore this massive thing, and it felt like a big step to be able to tell her that v makes me panic. She certainly didn't seem to think I was a bad mother, at any rate!!
I should add that it's interesting (and rather sad) to see how the phobia has developed with DS (who's 10). He has never had any particularly traumatic experience of v, so in his case (as in mine, I think), it's all to do with being generally prone to anxiety and panic. He isn't sensible enough to do CBT yet, but I might look into it for him when he's older.
I went to find out about hypnotherapy a couple of weeks ago (though ended up rejecting it due to lack of funds!) It was interesting to talk to the hypnotherapist. She said that nearly all emets are people who like to be in control. That certainly fits in my case. I don't like to control other people, but I do get very anxious about situations/events that are out of my control (I also tend to get very anxious about, eg, the children going in the car with someone else...)
I hope you don't mind me joining your thread. I was wondering if anyone could give me any advice about how to help my 16 year old DD. She mentioned a few months ago that she thought she was emetophobic but I didn't take much notice. Last night I threw up (I have hiatus hernia and ate something I shouldn't have). I spoke to DD and then went to bed. DH was up with DD until about 1am as she was crying and shaking because she was so anxious about vomiting.
She is in Sixth form and developed severe anxiety on resuming school in September and has had a course of counselling and just finished a course of CBT related to that - she didn't tell the psychologist about emetophobia.
She used to be sick as a child on taking any sort of medicine, she can take paracetemol and stuff now, but I assume that that may be how it started - perhaps she was worried about being sick in schoool or someting.
Generally she doesn't seem to be that anxious about germs etc - we are quite a messy household, but I notice she is using a anti bacterial handgel.
Judging from some of the comments I have read, I can see that people are still suffering a lot and there don't seem to be effective treatments out there. Is there anything I can do to help her?
Hi Emets mum.
Sorry for the long post but I think it's great that you are trying to help understand your DDs phobia. Also sorry if what I say doesn't describe everyone on here , I just want to give a rough snapshot into an Emets life.
The best thing you can do is to be understanding , its easier said then done , especially when she is freaking out and you are actually the poorly one. It's horrible, we feel so selfish and guilty and we feel like we should be comforting you when all we want to do it get the hell out of the situation. Last year was especially challenging for me as DH had two spells in hospital- kidney stones and hernia, and its a hell of a challenge A . Being in a hospital and B. sitting with your DH who had already V due to the pain , being concerned about him and shit scared of him at the same time!
Other people don't understand why we are scared , they say "well no one LIKES V " or they say yeah I've got that phobia too , but them mean they just find V unpleasant - in the same way people find diarrohea unpleasant , but I'm not scared of it. For example I'm also scared of spiders, but its not a phobia as such as the fear is no way on the same level as my emetophobia.
I never really was scared of the germs thing until a few years ago when the media went overboard with the N - it's a virus but no one here likes actually typing out the words of the things were scared of.
It is likely she is scared of bugs like N along with general V . Its horrible to be scared of both as when you are scared of things like N and bugs, a great deal of your time is spent being scared of something that might happen rather then something that is actually happening. For example you may say something casually like "oh there's a lot of that going around at the moment" - an emet will automatically presume the worst, that you are talking about N and it will be on their mind for most of the time. In the same vein, we are very good at sensing when something is up and can tell when people are hiding things from us , for example if my DH feels unwell , he tries to hide it, but I can always tell something is wrong . Or when my family try use other words for illness "I was bad/off/uncomfortable last night" , it almost makes it worse as it strengthens my fear as I think, it must be bad as they a trying to protect me. - Exactly, you can't win!
If she is near anyone that has N or says they had it, they often will count down the hours (incubation period of the N) and won't really relax until the time is up, although they will never 100% relax as the threat is always there.
Emets are happiest during the summer generally as that's when the N isn't as prevelent , we decide that it's called the Winter V B for a reason and try to relax more over the summer - although we are very aware that it happens all year . The summer brings its own dangers like BBQs ( once went to a bbq where the host used the same plate for cooked and raw meat ) - just stuck to the jacket potatos!
ThenSeptember comes (I know it's not winter but its when the schools go back and people mix more germ wise) and we freak out as its called the WVB for a reason . Then we try to relax ourselves thinking "it can happen all year, its no worse then during the summer, its just the media" - we try to reason with ourselves - not sure if I learnt that during CBT or not.
This winter I avoided all news , ever since the telegraph had on its front page " Winter V bug to ruin Christmas for thousands" , that caused quite a freak out as you can imagine.
I honestly don't know if there is anything you can do to reduce her phobia - if you discover anything let us know! I've been phobic since at least 7 years old as that's when my parents first noted my reaction to my brother being unwell (they thought at first I was crying as I was concerned about him - well I was but I just wanted to get out the bloody car!) . I spoke to the doctor about it a few years ago and got CBT for a few months when I was in my late teens, it made me try question my fear more but ultimately it didn't help. I tried hypnotherapy but didn't work - the chap just essentially told me to stop being scared! I'm now 28 .
I hope this has helped in some way, even if it is to just help you understand a bit more about what she is going through. Any questions just ask or feel free to pm me if you prefer.
Hope everyone is having a good and relaxing day .
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