seriously stressed and tearful

[oopsadaisymaisy]

I hope no one minds me posting in mental health and I know I'm being a bit self indulgent but I'm feeling really stressed and a bit overwhelmed with life generally at the moment. I'm tearful, grumpy and getting easily annoyed with people. Because of this I'm also feeling really guilty. I'm trying to think of ways to be more positive. Anyone got any ideas on how to destress. I know I need a bit more exercise and I ve cut down on caffeine. I don't drink too much. I'm not sure what else I can do?

[NorksAreTinselly]

Hello maisy please don't apologies, that is why we are here. I, unfortunately, have some experience of this :(

Let's talk about why you are stressed.
Are you having a stressful time with family or work, or does everything that NORMALLY you would cope with just seem too much at the moment.

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Hi norks. I feel better tonight. I had a fry with a colleague this morning who is realty supportive. I'm stressed a lot of the time really but think im struggling and fed up coping with everything on ky own. I have a loving little boy who I adore but because its just me and him I often get grumpy with him and feel awful afterwards. Thanks so much for your response. Isn't mumsnet great. It nice to have somewhere to offload from time to time.

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Cry not fry. Sorry I'm on my phone. I meant to ask what strategies you find helpful to destress?

[CravingSunshine]

It's very tough on your own. I think it's partly because it's so intense with just you and DC and you have that guilt that you can never be good enough (not true!). It also makes you feel frustrated, trapped and claustrophobic because you haven't got the headspace to work out what's getting you so stressed and down. Somebody posted on another thread which I thought was nice: When you're putting DC to bed talk about 3 things that he did that made you proud of him that day. Another route to positivity is writing down - at the end of each day-a small list of all the good things that happened that day no matter how minor. It's easy 'not to have time' but I think this kind of shift to positive thinking is something that has to be worked at (a bit like getting enough physical exercise). I'm also feeling stressed and losing my temper far too often with my 2 yo which isn't good. It should be me in control but I often feel pushed to the brink of my ability to cope (I also have a 11 mo and mind them both 5 days a week alone with DC returning in the evening after bedtime).
Try and fit in an exercise class once a week. I think the social environment coupled with someone leading from the front really improves your state of mind and it's not YOU having to take charge for once. Good luck.

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Hi craving, thanks for your fab post and loads of great ideas. I'm definitely doing the positive statements to my little man. I keep a journal by my bed but usually reserve it for insomnia. I ll start using that too. I feel guilty about complaining. I only have one child to manage and I work full time. Its tough and I do count my blessings. I hope you have lots of lovely things planned for Xmas.

[NorksAreTinselly]

Hello maisy
Well done talking to someone in RL, that must help
I know it is difficult to do but exercise is the huge part of my life that keeps me feeling calm.
I walk my four little dogs for a couple of hours most days - and I can tell the difference of I miss a day for some reason.
In times when I have felt really quite low, St Johns Wort has helped, but I think your situation is slightly different as it looks like you are trying to do everything and chasing around.

Letting go of perfection helps.

You do not have to have a perfectly clean house, you do not have to cook all meals from scratch, you do not have to wash everything even if it has been worn for an hour or so, you do not have to decorate your house to look like Homes and Interiors. Let go of some things and concentrate on your lovely boy and getting some exercise.

Most important...keep posting on here

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Hi Norks, thanks for that. Typically my boiler went today and it's costing me the rest of the money in my account until next pay day which is the end of Jan!!!! But, I refuse to become overwhelmed. I have a credit card or my lovely friend has offered me an interest free loan. I won't take the friends offer but it's lovely it's there. I feel really lucky I have a credit card and although it's not nice using it, at least it's there for an emergency. I have cried most of the day but I'm going to get a bottle of wine and I will relax for the rest of the night :)

[NorksAreTinselly]

Hello maisy
Grrrrr at boiler.
We spent 8 days without one this month, and although we saved on fuel:) it wasn't funny :(

Are you managing to keep warm?

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Hi norks. Boiler now fixed but cleaned me out financially. I had a lovely bath and I m pleased its all sorted. I'm off to a Xmas wedding and staying with friends for the festivities. I'm looking forward to getting Xmas out of the way. Have a lovely Xmas. I hope you get lots of lifes pleasures.

[NorksAreTinselly]

daisy do you have some strategies for when it all gets too much?
Please give yourself permission to take some time out to properly relax, if at all possible.

Wishing you the best mental health for 2013
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