I cried in the Cinema tonight...

[blondiedollface]

Sorry for re-posting but I guess this is actually the right place for this..

I'm so embarrassed but I couldn't help it. The trailer for a film called 'The Impossible' came on about one family's experience in the Tsunami that hit south west Asia on boxing day 2004.

Nearly seven years ago now, I was on a family holiday in Malaysia for Christmas and New Year. I was on the beach when the Tsunami hit and I grabbed my mum who was being pulled out. It has taken me a very long time, a lot of counselling and determination on my part to forget what I saw that day and stop having nightmares about it. The death and destruction were so horrific - I couldn't imagine anything worse if I tried.

The sounds, smells and feelings evoked by that minute or so long trailer have made me feel so raw, I can't stop crying or thinking about it and I'm petrified I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

I'm just so upset that something I've tried so hard to move on from and get past has been thrust upon me and all of a sudden I'm a nervous wreck who can't control my tears. What the hell do I do now? Am I just back to the beginning, am I going to have to learn to forget it all again. I literally have a flash screen running in the back of my head with everything I saw and it won't go away.

[quirrelquarrel]

OP I'm so sorry.
I think you have to accept that although you've made so much progress, it's not the end of the road yet. If you've been cutting out triggers, you might not be able to deal with them when they unexpectedly pop up yet.

God now I'm crying! lol

[RogueEmployee]

That trailer is graphic. It made me cry and I have never been near that part of the world so I cannot imagine what you must have gone through when it flashed up on the screen. So sorry you are still feeling so terrible but I imagine it quite a natural reaction to such a hugely traumatic event in your life.

[LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake]

You very likely have post traumatic stress - have you considered counselling or EMDR therapy ?

They could really help. So sorry for what you're going through

[TheCatInTheHairnet]

This is why I won't go and see that movie. I feel it's far, far too soon and both trivializes and capitalizes on the deaths of millions of people.

OP, I really hope you can get through this. What a horrible thing to experience.

[StephaniePowers]

I'm so sorry to read your post. I can't imagine what it must be like and I hope you get some good help.

I saw the trailer yesterday, and having had no more contact with those events than watching the news, I had an overwhelming urge to sob out loud. It's gut-wrenching and I really question the good taste of turning this into a film. People will put anything up there for money.

[EIizaDay]

I cry at lots of films - that's quite natural. You've been deeply affected by a dreadful tragedy and have had counseling but you perhaps need more. I think it sounds all very normal as far as the healing process goes.

[ChippingInLovesChristmasLights]

Oh that's horrible, to be faced with that in such a 'BIG' way and so unexpectedly.

I really can't understand the need to make films about tragedies like this, I really can't :(

I don't think you will be 'right back where you started', not at all. However, you need to employ some 'coping' techniques to get through this.

Will you be seeing your Mum at Christmas? If you will then you need to focus on that and on how lucky you both were to survive this. Be sad for those who didn't make it - but don't allow it to engulf you again.

[blondiedollface]

I do indeed have PTSD, and have had CBT for almost 6 years after which stopped when I went to uni. It's too expensive now, and the NHS won't do free CBT for me - so counselling is beyond my reach now.

I am spending Christmas with my mum and will be enjoying every minute. I just never expected to be presented with exactly what happened so graphically ever again and everything I've done up until that point has been on my terms with me having total control over every situation. I have been to a beach, I have paddled in the sea (in Devon, but still..) I thought that after every step I'd made and all the progress I had managed to cut that hurt out of my life.

I think it's just the shock of an emotion coming up so suddenly, like an unexpected death of a loved one - if you're not expecting it you can't mentally prepare so it hits you like a wall.

Does anyone know of any way I could possibly get more accessibility to CBT - as I do feel I would benefit from more, and in the mean time I shall not go to the cinema!!!