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Sertraline and any other AD's Support Thread Part 2

(929 Posts)
PackItInNow Fri 07-Dec-12 13:48:03

Just a continuation from the original thread, which is due to finish soon. Anyone and everyone needing some kind words, and hand-holding, are more than welcome smile.

Chiggers Thu 14-Feb-13 20:07:08

I remember your name surely BlackCat, I guess you remember me as well smile. How have you been since I we last heard from you? I hope you've been doing well smile.

I used to be PackItIn, but got bored of my NN so I changed it. I think Chiggers has a different ring to it. Or at least until I get bored again grin.

BlackCatinChaos Thu 14-Feb-13 20:36:17

I'm a bit up and down to be honest. I am struggling to keep taking the AD's. Part of me thinks I am getting better so I don't need them but the doc has said I should carry on for another 6 months (2 months then I see doc again).

I thought maybe I need to check in with you guys for a bit of moral support. ?

BlackCatinChaos Thu 14-Feb-13 20:38:48

How are you doing? I haven't had chance to read back through the thread.

Might pop back later as we are in the middle of putting the kids up to bed. x

suziejt Thu 14-Feb-13 20:42:01

Thanks chiggers back to gp in a week so hopefully will get sorted :-)

BlackCatinChaos Thu 14-Feb-13 21:08:27

Have taken today's AD so will see how I go.
I did take almost a week off, Not recommended without doctors say so!!!!!

I'm hoping if I check in with you all here I might start to take them regular again and get back on track. The sensible side of me knows that if the doc says I need them then I should take them. It's just hard keeping the less sensible side of me under control, if that makes sense!

uptothestars Thu 14-Feb-13 23:01:00

Blackcat that does make sense. Because I have little moments where I think I don't need them anymore when quite clearly I do. I can feel the difference when I don't take them for a few days.
I'm trying to be good and remembering to take them. It's weekends when I forget confused

Chiggers Fri 15-Feb-13 12:29:40

Afternoon ladies, how is everyone?

Got a lot of housework done this morning, so well pleased with that. All my plant pots are ready for planting, so I'll be growing peas, tomatoes, carrots, onions, leeks, redcurrants, blackcurrants, raspberries, rhubarb, sage, lemon thyme, oregano, rosemary and mint.

Hoping the veg will take, but I can't wait to see how things get on smile. We had a chilli plant, but the frost put paid to that one.

I love pottering about in the garden and seeing my plants flourishing. Makes me feel good that I can do something right. Got a couple of Cichlids and a Plecostamus (sp) who are growing well. The Cichlids are quite friendly. Every time I open the top of the tank to drop the food in, they swim to the top of the tank with their mouths open. You'd think I'd never fed them grin. Bloomin' starvo's they are

Chiggers Fri 15-Feb-13 12:45:05

BlackCat, I'm on here most days, so if you want, I'll remind you to take your AD.

Stars do you feel that the good feelings are false postives. By that I mean you feel good, so that makes you think that you don't need your AD, and when you stop taking them, you feel like your back to square 1 after a bit?

Sometimes I feel like that too, but again, my logical self tells me to keep taking the AD.

uptothestars Sat 16-Feb-13 00:14:02

Chiggers you're exactly right. I just want to be able to stop taking them and still feel ok.
In July it'll be 2 years since I started them. Sometimes I wonder who I am and what is me iykwim. The person I am taking ad's or the person I am when I'm not taking them. I can't remember what I was like before hmm

Chiggers Sat 16-Feb-13 08:27:37

Sorry about not nattering to you last night Stars, I took my meds early and they rendered me stupid so I went to bed, instead of staying up and talking like a busted washing machine grin.

I find that some of the most recent thoughts feel like distant memories confused. I know who I am, I'm wee mad Chiggers, but it feels like I'm a different person IYSWIM, almost like I'm a distant memory confused.

Do you feel that way too? Or do you feel like you have short/long term memory loss.

Saying that, I feel kinda like a new person, like something in me has changed, but the fundamental me hasn't IYSWIM. It's hard to explain, isn't it?

uptothestars Sat 16-Feb-13 09:44:16

Until this, I'd never had the kind of thoughts and feelings that I have now/have had.
I was kind of ok, normal, happy, stress free etc. I'm not saying I'm not happy now cos sometimes I really am, but I can be so moody and irritable and angry and it upsets me that maybe that's me forever.

What I mean is, sometimes I feel like 'me' or what i think is me. Carefree, idiotic (think 27 going on 17!) silly, loud (actually could be described as a bit of a moron!!) But it doesn't last. It's always clouded by how I am now. And that's where I don't understand what is actually me.

If I could get rid of the guilt and the thought that I'm letting people down then I think I'd be halfway to being ok.

Not actually sure if this has answered your question chiggers. It's a bit of a jumble I think blush

BlackCatinChaos Sat 16-Feb-13 10:24:30

Stars I get that guilt to so I so understand what you mean.
I think I really am letting people down cause I fail to get things like washing up done. When it piles up it seems like too much to cope with. I know the sensible thing would be to not let it pile up. I think I find it sooo boring so that makes me procrastinate about doing it.

Feeling quite rough this morning but I need to pull myself together somehow, confused The DC are back to school Monday after a week off so I need to get uniforms etc washed and ready, also need to get my head around food shopping.

Life goes on doesn't it , whether you feel o.k. or not.

Sorry if I'm waffleing !

Chiggers Sat 16-Feb-13 12:58:41

BlackCat, I feel that way sometimes with the dishes, but my way of getting things done is to not think about why the chores need doing, just that they have to be done. So I have got myself into a structured routine where I don't need to think about what needs done, but I'm keeping it flexible so I can alter the routine if needed and without fuss.

Chiggers Sat 16-Feb-13 13:04:06

Stars, am I right in thinking that some days you feel like your old self, but most days you feel like you're kind of detached from reality and some days feel surreal IYSWIM. Do you feel like you wish you could go to sleep and wake up when it's all over and life will be good from then on?

Chiggers Sat 16-Feb-13 20:19:46

OK ladies, am away to bed now as my AD has kicked in and I'm feeling quite drowsy, so take care and I hope you all get a good night's sleep smile.

Will catch up with you in the morning.

Goodnight all you good ladies.

uptothestars Sun 17-Feb-13 00:59:43

Meh..mega busy day today shock

Blackcat I know what you mean. I'm the same with ironing. My ironing pile is at least 10 foot high at the moment. I WILL do the whole lot of it in the very near future not that I've been saying that for the last month and I WILL keep on top of it, so to speak.
(Trying to send myself some positive vibes there!)

Chiggers..sometimes I am very 'me'. But that could maybe just last an hour or it could last all day. I think what I'm doing, who I'm with, where I'm at etc make a big difference.
This week I have to be ok because it's half term (and no work for me either grin)
I'm taking my oldest dd to Alton towers...some moshi monster thing...and need to plan something to do with both dd's.
I think going to bed and waking up completely ok would be really good right now, you're right there!

Chiggers Sun 17-Feb-13 08:49:35

Good morning good ladies. Stars, the effects of my AD with me are just that some days I feel like myself, yet some days it almost feels like I'm watching the days unfold in a video (do you know that kind of detatched feeling).

I actually think that keeping busy is a great thing because then I don't have too much time to think IYSWIM (except what needs done).

I've found that it's true that with AD's, things can and sometimes will get worse before they get better.

uptothestars Sun 17-Feb-13 19:08:07

Just like you're watching everything but you're not actually there? Glad it's not just me. Thought I was going a little crazier!

Another busy day here. It really does help take your mind off things.
How are you today chiggers?

Chiggers Sun 17-Feb-13 20:34:22

Ach, I'm alright. Was just watching a couple of documentaries about King Tut and one of the surrounding tombs. Absolutely amazing. I could watch those all day, but I wouldn't get any coursework done grin.

Was also listening to a couple of songs that remind me of my beloved late MIL. Instead of getting all teary, I now smile, imagining her telling us that we're (DH and I) a right pair of wallies, getting all sentimental grin. If she were here today, she'd probably say that and all and it would be just like her smile. She was a lovely woman though and we'll remember her fondly.

The thing about being busy is that it takes your mind off your moods because you're too busy thinking of what you have to do.

Am away to bed now as I'm knackered. DH woke me up in the early while he was dreaming he had bugs or summat on his legs. He twitched a bit then jumped out of bed and booted the radiator confusedgrin. It was hilarious.

Well, I'm off to me pit for some zeds now, but I hope you have a decent night's sleep and feel better tomorrow smile.

Good night and take care.

Dawndonna Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:59

Hope everyone is okay. Sorry I haven't been around. Up and down here.

Chiggers Mon 18-Feb-13 14:34:12

Hi Dawn, just a quick bob in before I head off out again. How are you feeling today?

PainForLife Mon 18-Feb-13 19:27:26

hi every1,
been away in my miserable thoughts for a while just checking in hope ur all doing well. I can't switch off & medication is just making me eat loads & I've put on loads of weight the last few weeks. been in terrible mood just angry. psychologist said that was good it means I'm getting my feelings out. But I think the over eating is making me more angry as I feel FAT sad I just can't seem to stop the only time I do is when I'm asleep & I've been sleeping loads! So I'm either sleeping or eating..... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Chiggers Mon 18-Feb-13 22:23:15

Hi Pain, just checking in before I go to bed.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling like that. I agree with your Psychologist with getting your feelings out. Have you ever considered getting a punchbag with a bracket you can secure to a garage wall? I had one when I lived with my parents before moving houses. I used to kick 7 shades of shite out of it and it was bliss being able to get my anger out in a non-destructive way.

I had one I could punch and kick.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now as I'm about to nod off grin, but if I suddenly start typing a load of crap, you know I've dropped off grin.

Will check in tomorrow morning before I go to college, but Take care and sleep well smile.

BlackCatinChaos Tue 19-Feb-13 05:36:09

Hi all, hope everyone is o.k.

I am here after only about 4 hours sleep, don't know what's going on there, just can't seem to switch off. Thinking too much I guess!
Please forgive me if I talk about a lot of random crap today as my brain isn't quite in gear yet. grin
Was just laying in bed thinking about everything this week from housework to relationships and various appointments etc I have going on this week.
Think I might need to get paper and pen out and check/update my diary to try and make sense of things.

Chiggers, stars I understand that what you were saying the other day, kind of watching your life as if you are not in it. I often feel like that too!
Strange feeling isn't it!

Chiggers Tue 19-Feb-13 07:59:00

Morning BlackCat. It's like watching a long-running documentary of your life. I hope I'm making sense as I'm trying to type while putting my moisturiser on with the other hand IYSWIM grin.

Well, will have to go as I'm walking to college and need to leave around 8am, so I can grab a coffee before class.

Catch you later smile.

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