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Sertraline and any other AD's Support Thread Part 2

(929 Posts)
PackItInNow Fri 07-Dec-12 13:48:03

Just a continuation from the original thread, which is due to finish soon. Anyone and everyone needing some kind words, and hand-holding, are more than welcome smile.

Rumours Thu 10-Jan-13 17:22:46

Hi packit yes the talking did help thanks smile

Fluffydressinggown Thu 10-Jan-13 18:13:36

pain - def def go back and finish your degree

rumours - so glad you are getting the support you need, I hope the medication helps soon

I am not going up to 100mg yet because I am still tapering down my mirtazipine, I am on weekly scripts at the moment due to my feelings so it can be changed. I think the plan is for me to go up to 150-200mg.

Thank you for your kind words, I suppose I worry that I seem like I am not taking your advice on board, it is just hard because my mental health problems are so complex and affect me in so many ways.

I have had my hair cut this morning and then spent the afternoon tidying up yet another essay - I should get a degree in marketing as well! My husband has just popped to uni to hand them in, only one more to go and then we are free (until the next ones). I have painted my nails and we are going out to tea to celebrate the essays being finished.

I have been having some, strange thoughts, I am scared about tomorrow, about what I am thinking and what I want to do. Ughhh. I spoke to my CPN about the increasing disconnect between my appearance and my internal feelings. I look just fine, but inside, I am just finding it so hard. I feel so shit sad

Sorry so long. I hope everyone has had a nice day.

PackItInNow Thu 10-Jan-13 19:12:46

Fluffy, I'm sorry you feel so shit, but things will hopefully get better for you.

Don't worry about not taking and acting on our advice. I'm sure you feel that some of the advice would be useful to you, but because you MH needs are so complex, some of the advice may not work in reality. Not to worry, as long as you get the treatment you require, that is all that is important.

I'm sure you look just fine, so don't be worrying about your appearance. I was just thinking that if I met you in RL, I wouldn't see your appearance, I'd see the lovely person you are inside smile.

I know I don't know you, but I imagine the real you is screaming to get out, but your complex MH needs make that extremely hard for you to do that. Please feel free to correct me if I'm totally off the mark on this one. I'm a big girl and I can take it grin.

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:46:44

just want to echo that it doesnt matter if you take advice from us or not - im sure the people around you and the professionals treating you are far more qualified and you are doing the right thing in following their advice.

you mean that how you are feeling on the inside is very different to the together functioning and collected person you appear to be.....but on that level you are together, functioning and collected! its a good thing fluffy - maybe when the meds get tinkered with these odd thoughts will lesson....i hope you get some rest from your head a bit soon.

i missed my meds this morning - am going to try to take mine in the morning tomorrow - the full dose so i cant forget a dose.

PackItInNow Thu 10-Jan-13 20:26:32

'Bout ye grin. Fancy a brew Vicar? How's things with your good self?

Fluffy, if all we can do is hold your hand and offer kind words to help you through the harder times, then that's what I'm prepared to do. I can only speak for myself, but I started this thread for those who wanted and needed support, and if that make just one person feel a bit better then I've done what I set out to do smile.

IAmLouisWalsh Thu 10-Jan-13 20:59:36

Side effects again - night sweats? Doing my head in. I have kind of got used to the upset stomach, and the nausea is much better.

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 10-Jan-13 21:17:41

evening all.

thanks packit - i will need that brew in a minute....i resisted buying wine today. im drinking far far too much.

i struggled to get up again this morning - i was awake - i just couldnt get up.

but, when i did, i had arranged to see a friend, and instead of ignoring that fact - i texted her and actually went to see her. she wanted a mooch around the shops so i went too, then we took a cream cake back to hers and had a cuppa and cake.

i really wish i could just get myself out of bed on a morning. The other day when i did i felt way better, but i seem to have relapsed a bit....

PainForLife Thu 10-Jan-13 21:44:55

evening every1,

waves at pack smile

IamLouisWalsh the night sweats are horrible but they will stop eventually. what helped me at times was sipping cold (refrigerated) water. try that it might help.

vicar I feel like that today like I've relapsed sad head is all over the place & everything/everyone is making me angry. that and lack of sleep have made me a horrible person to be around today. I have managed not to let it effect DD for a change but I do hope she goes to bed soon doesn't look likely right now!

rumours hope the medication starts making u feel better soon.

fluffy I know I should complete it I just need to get in right frame of mind. haircut sounds great am sure u look fab smile as for feeling shitty don't worry we all can relate to that. just keep at it... I've been going up/down for 2 years with the attitude sooner or later things will feel better. sometimes finding the right balance is all it takes but the scales do tip quite quickly (to the negative side for me). I'm sure u will find what works for u soon hopefully smile

waves at Susie hope ur doing well smile

hope ur all having a good evening thanks

PackItInNow Fri 11-Jan-13 11:52:41

<<waves back at Pain>>

PainForLife Fri 11-Jan-13 14:03:44

afternoon all,
how is every1 today?
so I had a horrid evening yday with a full blown anxiety/stress/panic attack which scarred the hell out of my family. I started muttering the phrase whilst crying away "bad wife, bad mother, bad daughter" over an over again & was rocking myself back n forth. I was in this state for a good 30 mins & eventually after being held tight & having a few sips of water (my mouth was unbelievably dry) I came out of it. this is the second time I've done this & it's startIng to scare me. am I going NUTS??? anyone have any idea what the hell this could be! sad

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 11-Jan-13 18:37:24

Thanks Pain

I just feel like the side effects are building up - first the nausea, which has eased, then the pooing, which hasn't, and now the bloody night sweats....what's next?

PainForLife Fri 11-Jan-13 21:53:09

it's happened again just now!!! I'm going crazy... I'm hearing voices in my head, 1 being good to me the other being horrible... oh God what d hell is going on with me!!! even taking a sertraline is not helping... my heart is still racing sad

Fluffydressinggown Sat 12-Jan-13 00:42:51

Pain, I am sorry you are feeling so rubbish. Do you have anyone you can contact for support? Or the crisis team?

vicar I am pleased things seem brighter for you, great you could go out with your friend

I have had a shitty day. My head is all over the shop with very odd thoughts, I rang my CPN and she told me that I need to take the quetiapine because I am not very well. She said I sounded very chaotic thoughts wise, and I was over thinking things that didn't need thinking about. I am so embarrassed about the way my thinking is, I have told my husband some of it, but it is just ridiculous.

SI-ed this afternoon and been to minor injuries for stitches. Nurses were lovely lovely as usual, they are just brilliant, so supportive and kind and they don't patronise me. She was saying how lovely I was and how sad it made her that I did this to myself. We talked about how perfect I always look (hair/make-up/clothes) and the damage I do to myself - such a contrast. Scared about next week, I am just scared about what I am doing to myself but then I can't seem to do the things I need to do to help myself. I can't face this sad

On a positive note. My nails haven't chipped! Tattoo tomorrow and lunch with my SIL and then coffee with a friend in the afternoon and a meal out with DH in the evening. Spending Sunday fixing up DH's final essay (the last one took me 5 hours).

I am sorry this is sooooooooooo long! My head is just a big huge mess, I feel all over the place. I am watching TV in silence and watching TV but inside everything is going a billion miles an hour.

Fluffydressinggown Sat 12-Jan-13 00:47:43

Oh and my cut from last week is infected so I have anti-biotics to take as well. Rubbish.

MagentaNyx Sat 12-Jan-13 04:54:45

Hello everyone, I havent been on here since my original post back in November, but wanted to give an update as a message of support and hope for anyone taking Sertraline (ar any other AD's for that matter).

I have been on Sertraline for a few months now and have had my dose increased twice to 150mg a day and I have been feeling great for at least 3 weeks now. I started out on 50mg and had an abundance of side effects including the nausea and headaches every day, I felt spaced out like I was on illicit drugs, had jaw clenching, fatigue etc infact I actually felt worse on them initially and had many desperate tearful phone calls and visits with my GP. With her support and encouragement to stick with them and her increasing the dose to 150mg, Im finally in a much, much happier place.

Towards the end of last year, I felt utterly hopeless, 4 years into the severest bout of depression I've ever experienced I thought my life as I knew it before was over and this miserable black hole I was in would be my forever existence. I was wrong and am so glad I stuck with them. The side effects are all gone now, I take them when I get up and within an hour or 2 I actually feel a sense of euphoria - not sure if it's my mind or what but I feel so positive and hopeful which I hadnt felt for so long. I was on the verge of giving up and just disappearing but I now have a renewed sense of joy for life and am looking forward to the future. Im currently working with the greatest advisor ever at the job centre and am looking forward to getting into some training this year to support my career change to working with kids or animals and am starting group CBT therapy with Talking Space (Mind) next Tuesday! Group therapy would have been out of the question last year as I had become reclusive and almost hateful of being around people, suffered severe anxiety and rarely left my flat. I now feel like my confidence is slowly returning, the anxiety is nearly non-existent and I've had very few "low" moments over the last few weeks. Im going out much more and stressful events like not being able to run my car at the moment (which would have devastated me previously) have not bothered me and I have even been able to look at it from a positive view point that I will save money and get more exercise! This is VERY unlike the way I've been for the past few years (the smallest things would reduce me to tears and send me to bed for days) and I have to credit the meds as nothing has actually changed in my life, just the chemicals in my brain!

For those of you still struggling in the early days with Sertraline (or any new meds) my advice would be to stick with them for at least 3 months! I know how hard it is to deal with the awful side effects every day and there were many times I threatened to stop taking them, but with my GP's support I stuck in there and am now reaping the benefits and hoping to get my life back on track!

I want to extend a very heartfelt thank you to @PackItInNow for your very sweet messages of support when I first appeared, it really helped and seeing all the support and advice you have extended to so many on here has reminded me of all the wonderful people in this world that completely overshadow all the assholes Ive had the misfortune of meeting!

Support when struggling with depression is crucial and the best thing you can do is TALK ABOUT IT! I used to avoid talking about my depression because I didnt want it to define me, but I talk openly about it now and even publicly on Facebook to raise awareness and as a result I've received a wealth of support that I wouldnt have received had I continued to battle alone. Dont be scared to talk about your condition and how it is affecting you and dont be afraid to ask for help.

I wish everyone well in their recovery of this awful affliction, just remember there is always a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, no matter how long that tunnel may seem!

Love & best wishes for 2013 to you all x Mags x

Fluffydressinggown Sun 13-Jan-13 00:42:28

So pleased you feel better Mags smile

I have had a nice today, got my tattoo today (which I LOVE), then lunch with my SIL and a meal out with my DH. Going for a coffee with my best friend tomorrow.

Still having strange thoughts, feel very muddled, in the quieter moments I just feel so odd, hard to explain.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend smile

uptothestars Sun 13-Jan-13 12:00:50

Wow mags that's inspirational.

Fluffy you sound like you had a busy day yesterday. I'm contemplating getting my tattoo on my foot extended, but as I fainted when I got it done in the first place, I probably won't! sad

Went out with my best friend last night. Completely random. Had a brill night and have JUST woken up....feel so refreshed.

Shower and a brew for me smile

PackItInNow Sun 13-Jan-13 21:00:20

Back again ladies. How is everyone today?

Magenta, it was a pleasure to help and support you as much as I could smile. I'm just pleased you're feeling much better. You're right about the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark your life seems, it's just a very long tunnel you're walking through AND there is light at the end of it. Put it this way, has anyone gone through a tunnel and NOT come to the end?

That light is the individual person getting better the closer to the light they get.

My thought is that if I can help just 1 person on here, then I have done what I set out to do.

ThatVikRinA22 Sun 13-Jan-13 21:19:19

evening ladies

fluffy so sorry to see you SI again but glad you had a good day and got your tattoo....i have one on the top of my foot which i really like! its hard for me to find bits of my body that i like enough to get more though!

mags im so pleased to read your update - it really offers me hope - ive just gone up to 100mg sertraline.

i have spent the last 2 days helping out at the stables and am knackered but in a really good way - fresh air and hard work plus doing something i love have helped kick me out of bed for the last 2 days.

i had a bad day friday (didnt get dressed and all plans went out of the window) but the few days previously werent bad, im still waking really early despite all the fresh air and hard work, but am hoping this will subside.

one thing i realise is i have to start focusing on what to do about work. whether to look for something else or go back to the stress....i wish there was a job at the stables. i think i need a simpler life.

Fluffydressinggown Mon 14-Jan-13 01:04:13

vicar things still seem positive for you, it is great that you can identify that Friday was a blip! Can you reduce your work hours or transfer to another department when you return? I know that is not always possible.

My tattoo is on my thigh at the side, just below my knickers. I wanted something out of the way and subtle, I have had the word 'enough' with a small heart next to it. I braved it and told my parents and sent them a picture and I think they were surprised that they liked it. They also pointed out that I am 28 and I can do as I please.

I have had an ok day. I had a coffee with my best friend and was very honest about my strange thoughts, she was lovely but she said she was very concerned about me and repeated what my CPN said about me being very unwell. I have not taken the anti-biotics or the quietiapine. I know I should, but it is hard. I don't know how to explain it, it is like this irrational side of me is in control even though I know it is irrational! DH finished his essay today so I will bob through it tomorrow. I am also seeing my psychologist, and I will have to do another chain analysis on my SI, blah.

I hope everyone has had a great weekend smile

PackItInNow Mon 14-Jan-13 08:21:24

Morning Fluffy, <<hugs Fluffy tightly>> I understand your irrational side taking control (I'm like that with needles in my back and the side of my thighs), but ask your CPN or your Psychologist if there are any techniques you can try, to learn to take back control. I think the main part of getting better is recognising what is wrong and doing what you can to try and overcome it or sort it. You know your getting there when you can imagine your damaging emotions can be walked away from.

Correct me/berate me if I'm wrong, but is one of the reasons you got a tattoo because it was like SI release, but different because it's artwork as opposed to the vicious ugly scars of SI IYSWIM? I also think recovering is about getting to that particular good place, within yourself, and being in the right frame of mind to make your recovery a success.

Well have to nip off for a bit and hand my Maths assignment in for marking. No feedback this time. Have my Maths exam tomorrow so will be swotting up on the old numbers.

Will be back later folk, so keep hanging in there and will chat soon <<hugs for everyone>> smile.

Fluffydressinggown Mon 14-Jan-13 18:10:15

Hi smile

I saw my psychologist today and was very honest. I have been seeing signs that I should kill myself, and then I sat in the car for an hour outside the CMHT office because I felt so stuck and scared. Went back in and spoke to my psychologist again and crisis are coming at 8pm to assess me for an admission sad

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 14-Jan-13 18:20:53

hugs fluffy i think you did absolutely the right thing - you need more intensive help than you are getting.

you did absolutely the right thing.

take all the help on offer and get well. Let us know how you get on.

Fluffydressinggown Mon 14-Jan-13 18:36:09

Thanks vicar, i made a separate post about it on the mental health board to keep people updated.

PackItInNow Mon 14-Jan-13 19:00:10

Fluffy, Vicar is right. It filled me with warmth and I actually smiled when you told us that you sought help when you saw those signs. I don't mean this in a bad way, but I do hope you are admitted so that you can get the help you so desparately need.

The good thing about what you did, was not only did you get the help you needed at the time, BUT, instead of acting on those signs by killing yourself, you acted on them in a different way that will allow you to access as much help as you need. That in itself is a step forward. I hope you understand what I mean smile. I am so glad you have taken the right step. If fact, I'm so happy that you did what was right that I just want to give you a big hug smile

Please let us know how you are getting on Fluffy. You should congratulate yourself for doing the right thing in getting help. It may not seem like a big step at the moment, but when you look back at where you were emotionally, and what you did, you'll realise that it was a big step in the right direction smile. You're on the long road to recovery and you should be pround of yourself. BTW, no matter how low you are, we will be here to support you in whatever way we can. If that means you come on here when you're feeling low we will try and talk you up.

How are you Vicar? I hope you're hanging in there smile. How was your dau today?

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