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Moving back out of my mums?

(5 Posts)
ShhBoom Thu 29-Nov-12 17:58:56

I'm going to try & keep this as short as poss, as i don't want to bore you!
My mum's had mental health issues since I was about 2. She was in & out of hospitals, until she was put into a high security unit hospital when I was 9 she came home again when I was 16.
During those 7 years we saw her every month & kept a good relationship. My dad bought my sister & I up on his own. He then developed cancer & sent us to boarding school.
When my mum came home for good, my dad really started going down hill, and she was his full time carer. Up until that point I had been looking after him (I was expelled from boarding school & went to the local school, meaning I lived at home).
For a couple years we all lived together, my mum, dad, younger sister & I.
When I was 17 I fell pregnant & my boyfriend at the time & I got a house together and settled down as a family. I sill my mum & dad most days as we hasn't moved far.
2 weeks after my DS was born my dad died. It was a horrible time & my mum really suffered. She was in & out of hospital again for a year after that. During that time my ExP left me, so 8 month old DS & I lived on our own.
It certainly wasn't easy, but inquire like my own company & I didn't mind living on my own too much. My pain issue was finances.
My mum ended up I unit for 12 months. During that time I got myself into huge financial difficulty. My sister was living in the family home with her boyfriend. As soon as she heard mum was coming home she moved out with her boyfriend. I fleet obliged to move in & keep an eye on mum. We talked it over for ages & decided it was a good idea is DS & moved in when mum came home. It would also help me sort my finances a bit.
Anyway I have now been living with my mum for a year. We've moved out of the family home, to somewhere where my mum is much happier. It's always been though that I'd live with her until I have a partner & we find somewhere together.
It's been 2 years now since I've been single & I haven't had a boyfriend since, so that's not going to happen anytime soon!
I hate even thinking this & feel like a really selfish cow but I really feel I need to l e on my own with DS again. My stress levels are through the roof with being with my mum 24/7. We get on well, but she is quite difficult to live with sometimes. My stress is coming out on my DS (who's 2) and I hate it. I crave my own space. I'd see my mum every day still I'm sure, but I just want that space back.
I'm officially her carer & I wouldn't want that to change really. It's not that I don't want to look after her, I just don't want to live with her! We're arguing a fair bit now whereas we never argued when didn't live here.
sad I feel awful writing this. Am I being a really selfish cow??
Sorry for the ramble & any mistakes, I'm on my iPhone!

helpyourself Thu 29-Nov-12 18:01:40

You certainly don't sound selfish. I'm trying to work out a timeline here- are you now 19/20?

ShhBoom Thu 29-Nov-12 18:03:02

Sorry I wasn't very good with dates in the essay! I'm 22 now, and my mums been home a year now, hospital free smile

Ilovetoridecamels Thu 29-Nov-12 18:04:49

A selfish cow, definitely not!

ShhBoom Thu 29-Nov-12 19:10:35

Thanks for your replies. They've made me feel a bit better! I just worry that if I talk to her about it she's going to take it really personally.
She doesn't need physically looking after, it's just the emotional side of things. I think she'd cope we'll on her own, otherwise I wouldn't contemplate it!

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